Today...
On my face: a smile and tired eyes.

In my mind and on my heart: lots of thoughts on leadership, spiritual gifts, etc., & excitement about house churches w/ Fuel--starts tomorrow!!!

On my head: too much curly hair that is annoying me today

On my desk, ready to be read: "Renovation of the Heart" by Dallas Willard

In my ears: Starfield...good stuff...I'll share!

Can I Stay Here Forever? by Starfield...

Through forgotten convictions
Misplaced affections
I'm losing the sound of Your voice
I've been chasing after emptiness
Trying to tidy up this mess
I swear I’ve been down this road before
I want to get back to where it all began
When I would long for only You
Like a child I'll take You at Your word
As these mountains of doubt,
they fade away
I'm longing to trust and love You more
So for me this is beautiful
A brand new thought, and a brand new world
Can I stay here forever here with You?
I've lost sight of what first drew me
To the love that pursued me
The joy that inspired my song
The friendship that was all I knew
The arms that I would fall into
Seem miles and years from where I am today
I got to get back to where it all began
When I would wait for only You
Can I stay here foreverHere with you?
Surrounded by Your mercy
Clothed in Your truth
Always, I'll stay
Always here with You
Can I be here foreverHere with You?
Can I know what it's like
To deeply love You?
Always, Lord, let me stay
Always, here with You

After Focus at LCC on Wednesday night and a lot of thinking later on that night, I had a ton of ideas running through my head. I ran with one of them, and this is what my journal reads from that night:

"...JK spoke about the idea behind the Good Samaritan and left us with this thought--'God uses the helpless to help others. Blessed are those on the campus of LCC who are more helpless than they know...Welcome to ministry.'

The helpless are usually left to remain where they are. Like lepers. Untouchable. Not good enough for society. Unclean. Unwanted. Impure. Unhealed. Full of disease, pain, and loneliness. Why do we continue to leave them where they are? They're the ones who end up teaching us the most in the long run! Actually, haven't we once been helpless ourselves? Helplessness is where faithfulness begins and grows. It's where one realizes there is nowhere else to turn.

I feel helpless sometimes as a single 21 (almost 22)-year-old female, like I did last week when my car broke down. I felt like I could do nothing on my own. I depended on people to help me make decisions, tell me where to go, and give me rides. Sometimes that's all you need when you're helpless--a way to get from here to there. But when you're helpless and on that journey from here to there, you somehow have the opportunity to affect more people than yourself.

Think about it. If you're the opposite of helpless, you've pretty much got it all together right? When you've got it all together you'll never need to interact w/ or rely on a single other person. You can handle everything on your own. How can that be useful in ministry? It can't! Reliance on people and interaction is where ministry happens. So, you see, it's important to become like the helpless.

It seems as though w/out the helpless we'd have much fewer stories to read about Jesus in the gospels. Almost everyone he interacted w/ was helpless and look how much we learn from their lives and stories! It gives us a guide for our own--from both Jesus and the helpless. Jesus took risks. He lived dangerously and took chances on people whom no one else would. He didn't keep to himself b/c he had everything under control, although he could have if he wanted to. Instead he helped the helpless. That's ministry. That's our call.

Take a chance on someone. Someone who might be a loner. Annoying. Frustrating. Too prideful. Too sinful or dirty. Too greedy. Flirty. Too lustful. Too quiet. Too ugly.

Take a risk. Take a chance on the helpless...because either you are one yourself or you were at one time! Maybe you'll find that you're the one who really needed the help more!"

That's the end of my journal entry from Wed. Please note that this was meant to be self-directed and not at you or anyone else. But take encouragement and a challenge from it and see what happens!

GRRRRR.....

So, here's my story:

Yesterday I left work to head home before going to Bloomington to get my hair highlighted and cut. I'm not sure why I was stopping at my apartment first, because it wasn't really necessary, but for some odd reason I still went that way. I realized when I was about 3 blocks away from my apartment that I think God had some part in this crazy little thing. This was after I stopped at a stop sign, and as I proceeded through the intersection I found that my car was no longer running. Instead, it was rolling through the intersection. Hm...great...I'm just glad I was not in bloomington or on my way there! So, I called Kate and she showed up within a couple minutes, and some other people were able to help push it into a parking spot. I'm still not sure what's wrong with it, but it's dead. I've been waiting all day for the people at Graue to call back and let me know, so I decided to call them. After waiting on hold and listening to some cheesy car dealership commercials that were full of crap, someone got on and told me "um, yeah they still don't know what's wrong with it yet." Wow, thanks for the help! So, needless to say, I'm a little impatient and frustrated at the moment. I'm also currently looking for a new car, and the process has just been sped up so I guess it's an okay thing that this has happened. I just have to find a car FAST! So if you or anyone you know has a nice, newer car they'd like to sell me for $0-$10,000 that would be great!

I've been somewhat worrying about that as well as worrying about my sister, but I know that worrying will not get me anywhere. I'm just thankful that I have a God who is bigger than all of this and He's in control, because I sure couldn't handle it on my own! I'm glad I don't have to!

Lists...
Picking up...
This whirlwind of days
a calendar endless
tasks and responsibilities
some earthly
some eternal
some not even tasks
Not really all that bad...
I actually love busy.

Still, in my mind...
A sea of people
With needs
With hopes
Lost
or Found
but still searching
Still needing
Still reaching for more of You
I forget to pray,
Forget to call on you
Or even say hello

Teach me to love more
to feel more
to pray more
to GO more
to think less
to plan less
to fear less
Teach me to trust...

Last night I feel like I experienced God's greatness in such a new way. I love how a worship song can put into words what your own words, thoughts, or emotions could never quite express. That is the beauty and the power of music. I take that back--it's the beauty and power of GOD through the instrument of music. There is no purpose greater than the purpose of glorifying Him. As the following song says, "You put the stars in the sky and you know them by name...You see the depths of my heart and you love me the same." If a God so big, who put the stars into place, knows me inside and out and still loves me the same, despite my sinful human nature, how great is He? He deserves more than what we could ever offer Him even if we gave Him everything! I hope someday you get the chance to sing Him the following two songs of praise--and if you can't sing them someday, here are the lyrics so you can offer them up to him as a gift.

Indescribable by Laura Story

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of Spring
Every creature unique in the Song that it sings
All exclaiming

Chorus 1:
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You put the stars in the sky and you know them by name.
You are amazing God!
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees and we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

Verse 2:
Who has told every lightning which way it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gave source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom

Chorus 2:
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You put the stars in the sky and you know them by name.
You are amazing God!
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and you love me the same
You are amazing God!


How Great Is Our God by Chris Tomlin, Jesse Reeves, Ed Cash
Verse 1:
The splendor of a King, clothed in majesty,
Let all the earth rejoice, all the earth rejoice.
He wraps Himself in light, and darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice, trembles at His voice.
Chorus:
How great is our God, sing with me,
How great is our God, all will see
How great, how great is our God.
Verse 2:
Age to age He stands, and time is in His hands,
Beginning and the end, beginning at the end.
The Godhead, three in one: Father, Spirit, Son,
The Lion and the Lamb, the Lion and the Lamb.
Bridge:
Name above all names,
Worthy of all praise,
My heart will sing
How great is our God.

another Storm's a-brewin'....

Today I have the afternoon off (thank you Dr. Searby!) because of our busy past week in Admissions. It's going to storm so I won't be going to the pool as I became accustomed to during my summer fridays off. I'm not quite sure what to do with the afternoon, but I'll probably include these things:
lunch
a nap
working out (haven't done that in SOOOO long)
reading
making snacks for poker night tonight at our apt.

And that's it. I'm super tired. However I'd still like to work out b/c it's something I want to teach myself discipline with. That goes for my reading too. I'm now reading like 5 books and I just can't keep myself into them. I just like to start new books and not finish them for some reason. It's like I'm book commitment-phobic. Or I just don't make time to read...either way. Anyways, here are the books I'm reading:

Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller (just started last night--great book)

A Fish Out of Water by George Barna (awesome book on leadership--oops i almost just typed 'leadersnip'--that's really funny!)

A Childlike Faith by ???--wanna know why I can't remember the author's name? probably b/c I haven't picked up the book in a few weeks!

Faith, God, and Rock & Roll by various musicians--haven't read this in awhile either

Adventures in Missing the Point by Brian McLaren and Tony Campolo - once again, haven't read more than like 3 chapters in this...


And those are my current reading options. I wonder which one I'll finish first. Oh, and I'll be adding like 3 or 4 more books to that when I start my one seminary class next Wednesday--Shaping the Heart of a Leader. Yay! At least it's all good reading!

Have a lovely weekend.

Careful, the blog you're about to enjoy is extremely silly.

I don't know why I keep getting inspiration of thought from my Starbucks drinks, but there's just something about the words on the cup and lid and the cup holder thingy that keep making me think. So you know the cardboard cupholder thingy that you put around the cup? Well, after I had taken several drinks of my Spiced Chai today and set the cup down, I noticed that the thing said,

"Careful, the beverage you're about to enjoy is extremely hot."

Hm...first of all, it's just funny that it's worded that way as if someone were audibly warning you by saying "Careful!" And who uses that wording anyway? "the beverage you're about to enjoy?" I think they're trying to trick you into thinking you enjoy it. If they wanted to be politically and grammatically correct, shouldn't they say BE careful instead of just 'careful?' I just thought it was really funny and I'm sure you're thinking, "OK Mandy that's enough overanalyzing of the cupholder thingy--that's stupid!" Oh well! I'm just writing down my thoughts as I go here!

Besides, it's not much of a warning anyways...would you actually read the cupholder before you take a drink??? mmmm....probably not. I sure didn't, and that's why my tongue is now burnt. Thanks Starbucks for spending all that money to print the letters on the cupholder that I'd never think to READ before taking a drink. Maybe they should stop doing that and then their drinks wouldn't be so darn expensive...or maybe that lady who sued McDonald's one time for burning herself w/ the hot coffee should have been smarter and known that the coffee was going to be hot, so all these places wouldn't have to warn the rest of the world...as if we're lacking any common sense!

:-) Those are my silly thoughts of the moment. have fun w/ them.

Well school at LCC has officially started as of 23 minutes ago this morning! We moved all the freshmen in this weekend and everyone is here and back in action. It has been pretty busy and exciting around here.

I do not have much time to write right now but I do want to include a link to this article I read this morning. Go read it when you get a chance. It's some good stuff...good truth.

http://www.the-next-wave.org/stories/storyReader$315

Bless God today!

Oh yeah, and the girl who visited from TX on Friday who wasn't sure whether or not she was going to come to LCC this semester? remember? Yeah, well she IS coming for sure! Just talked to her today. hip hip hooray!

SOLO Traveler?

I was just drinking my Caramel Hazelnut Latte and reading the lid while I swallowed. That's what it said. SOLO Traveler. I thought...hm...that's kinda like me! I like that phrase. I especially like what it said on the lid underneath that--"Caution: Contents Hot". Now, that is certainly true isn't it? Haha, just kidding. :-) I'm silly.

Had a great weekend at home--fun times w/ the fam. Some good laughs. Maddy is hilarious and is growing up soooo fast! Cory is such a great mommy w/ her...I love to watch and learn for the future. Cory, David, & I played a fun game of catch the other night and I was laughing so hard that I was coughing...that always happens when I laugh too hard and it happened a lot this weekend. Yesterday we all went to the Mendota Sweet Corn Festival, which makes 2 weekends in a row that I've eaten fair food and had my "fair" share of white-trash America observing. Funniest part of the day, however, was when I heard this hillbilly guy say to someone, "You wanna bowla beans? Ahm gunna get me a bowla beans, you wansum beans?" (if you're trying to pronounce that in the proper way, you gotta say it real fast w/ a hillbilly accent.) It was hilarious. Anyways, w/ that vision in your mind have a wonderful day.

much love.

My color of choice today is bright orange...why? Because it's quite a happy color and I have had a wonderful day. Orange reminds me of bright, happy days that show up after gray, gloomy days, that's what today was. Yesterday was a long and frustrating day in some ways and last night I went to bed hoping today wouldn't be the same. Today was one of those days where I REALLY felt the ministry side of this job. I won't disclose too much information, but basically I had a visit w/ a girl from TX who is planning on coming here next week as a transfer. However, she wasn't for sure and though she knew God was leading her here, Satan was clearly making her doubt in some ways. God was pointing her this direction through so many ways--people, signs, her own journal, etc. It was incredible how many signs she saw and how much peace she felt just being here, and it was just an exciting, yet crazy day here. She left pretty sure that she's coming, and I ask that you'd pray she'll be here in a week. I won't say her name, but God knows who she is.

It has been one of those amazing days where you can see how all the pieces fit together and how God is working specifically in an individual's life. It's so exciting to be a part of the Kingdom! I love it!

I'm writing in blue today b/c that's how this cold weather makes me feel! I can't believe it! Summer sunshine and 100 degree heat--where have you gone? I miss you lots!

So today was our Faculty/Staff Retreat...I finally officially feel like Staff at LCC, which is quite weird. It was somewhat boring, but there were some good points. Keith Ray (Pres.) mentioned something that gave me chills after we sang in worship this afternoon--His dream is that the community of Lincoln will "hear our songs of praise" and wonder what all the ruckus is about out here on the edge of town! Just thinking about it in that way gave me chills. I wondered what it would be like if our worship could be heard throughout the town...as if the walls and buildings around us didn't exist, and no loudspeaker was needed to amplify our voices. No, this doesn't just mean our voices in singing, but our lives in worship. It would be so awesome if the campus this year lived so loudly that the communities around us were just infected with the love of Christ. I want that for my own life and for Christians everywhere. I hope that our lives AND our words speak loudly to the world.

I've also been thinking about what Chris talked about at Fuel last Sunday night. He was recalling a sermon he heard from Erwin McManus last year. I don't remember everything that he talked about, but what has echoed most in my mind is this: Christians are here for more of a reason than to be just good, moral people. In fact, our lives are defined by our FAITH rather than by moral standards. Too often people assume they're a "good Christian" just because they don't drink, smoke, look at pornography, cuss, gamble, have sex before marriage, etc. Unfortunately both believers and non-believers sometimes judge one's faith on the basis of those kinds of things. While those issues are still issues and are addressed from a Biblical perspective, that's not what Christianity is all about. We're not here to simply follow a set of rules and "do not" lists. We're here because we have faith in something bigger, someONE bigger who has freed us to live for something that lasts beyond this earth and this life. It's about following Christ, who was not a good citizen, but rather he was dangerous! We should be dangerously making ourselves uncomfortable for Him...what does it hurt, really, to open our mouths and tell someone about Christ? Maybe our egos, but those aren't eternal.

So, if you're reading this and you're a Christian, I hope this maybe challenges you to step it up a little. If you're not a Christian, I hope that you see a different side of Christianity than the moral standards that a lot of people assume to define "Christian." It's so much more than that. It's often our fault that we're defined that way, so I apologize.

Well, I'm not trying to preach a sermon through my blog...these things have just been running through my mind this week and I thought I'd share or at least attempt to organize my thoughts more.

It's amazing the difference in how you feel and how you think when you're spiritually empty and when you've been filled in some way. For a few days I went through some empty time, and I think that's necessary for some short times. Then it always hits me. This splash of inspiration like a bucket of water on my face. Finally, I'm motivated again. I'm reading like heck, and I'm filled w/ all these things I want to share.

Yesterday Nate was talking about George Barna's book "Fish Out of Water" and it sounded like a great perspective on leadership. So I checked it out of the good ol' LCC library and started reading it. Already, only pages into the introduction, I've written down quote after quote about leadership that inspired a lot of thinking. A lot of leadership rests on the simple idea that "actions produce consequences." It's that simple. So when you're a leader, your actions will most likely result in consequences that will influence the actions of other people. And most of us, whether we realize it or not, are leaders. Most people assume that only CEOs, presidents & VPs, men, or paid ministers are leaders. That's a lie. You're probably a leader if your life affects someone else's...so that includes those who work in McDonald's, mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, little league coaches, grocery store clerks, businesspeople, administrative assistants, interns, etc. If you think you're a follower, you're probably wrong. Leading in any way is a task that carries a heavy weight of responsibility. If your actions & their consequences spur on others' actions and their consequences, and so on...your actions trigger all other actions in the world somehow.

Barna takes it a step further and suggests that "the actions of leaders who are Christian have the most significant consequences because it is our leadership that affects the visible presence of God and his ways in our world." May I make a side-note of this--he words this specifically in saying "leaders WHO ARE CHRISTIAN" rather than saying "Christian leaders"--there's a difference. But that's a loaded task--if you're a leader who is also a Christian, even if you lead in a capacity that has nothing to do w/ Christ or the church, God desires to make himself known through you. You might not think you're good enough, knowledgeable enough, or "Christian enough" but you are! This is how ministry happens outside of the church--that's where it needs to be done more than within the church!

There's so much more I'd love to write about, but another day. For now, I'm pondering these things. How am I a leader? In what capacities? Who could be following me without me even knowing it? Am I choosing actions that result in good consequences? Most importantly, am I making God's presence visible in the world through the way I live?

Join me.

RED HOT!!!
That's what it is outside today as well as in the office! It's soooo stinking warm and humid out there and we're on fire in here w/ visits today. We've had like 6 visits in the office today as opposed to the summer zero that I've been used to the past 2 months. Taking people around on tours has been quite warm today, and I probably should have used the popemobile to take them instead of walking...oh well. Anyways, Josh and I have decided we're starting a D.A. file (figure out on your own what that might stand for after I explain) for students who drop in w/o an appointment and say things like "I just wanted to stop in to get an application...for a job." When we replied by asking "Would you like an application for admission or for work?" he answered, "Well, sure, both." As a Computer Science major I'm not sure why he sort of wanted to take classes here at a Bible College that offers nothing in that area. Also when I explained to him that we're a bible college and asked him if he desired to take classes in Bible/Theology & Christian Ministries he said "Sure, I'd be willing to do that..." Hm...I'm not sure, but I don't think he quite caught on. It's visits like that that make the day difficult despite the ones that go well. I'd love to help him out, but to be honest w/ you I don't want to recruit a student who really doesn't want to be here for ministry training. It's quite a challenge. It was a challenge in showing compassion for me, but I think I held up quite well. Anyways, other than that my other visit and a tour for GT's visit went well today! I thought being busy would make the day go by faster, but it still seems like a long day.

I'm extremely tired and I might take another nap tonight after work like I did yesterday. I have been soooo tired lately and I'm hoping there's nothing wrong w/ me. (laugh on those of you who rightly call me a hypochondriac--i know i am!) But I'm just so tired lately! I cannot wake up in the mornings and I'm blaming it on the lack of windows in my bedroom. I wish there was a way I could change that! well the day of work is almost over and I'm out of here in 5 minutes. peace ya'll...

Since my last blog, I have been pretty busy! Wednesday I was out of the office to visit the girls at CIY in Carbondale--another day to tease me and make me want to be there all the time! Thursday was our office retreat, and being only in Elkhart, it felt like we were somewhere out East. It was a really nice place! Friday was the most boring day ever, then I saw the Bourne Supremacy w/ Chels and that was really good! Saturday I had Early Registration here at the school and then headed to Dara & Dion's wedding in Ottawa. It was a great time--lots of dancing! Spent yesterday at home, and we had a nice little cookout and I ate a ton of great food! Went to Fuel last night, and Jacob talked about being distinct as a Christian--not holding the light we have to ourselves but also not being too involved in the world so much that we are unrecognizable. It was a good night at Fuel and a good night of fellowship at DQ afterwards w/ missy, jake, & amanda. good times. well i'll be sure to mark this blog down as the best one in history. i'm sure you all cared to know my daily schedule for the past several days but now you're informed anyways! have a great week!

After you read my previous blog, you MUST (yes, you MUST!!!) run (yes, RUN!!!) to go buy Jamie Cullum's CD "Twentysomething."  This music is incredible.  If you don't like jazzy, soulful type music, however, you probably won't like it.  Still, I think you should try it!  Ohhhh....it's heavenly.  I'm scared the Brit is about to become huge in the U.S. for fear of him being overplayed, b/c I like that he's unknown right now.  But, for his sake, I'm telling you all about him!
 

The Generation Gap
 
I firmly believe that God's hand was guiding me to go to Lincoln Christian Church rather than Eastview (as I normally do) yesterday morning just to be able to tell this story... So join me as I figure out my thoughts on this generation gap thing...
 
I have come to the conclusion that I'm tired of ignoring this problem that exists in our churches nationwide.  And why in the world does it always seem to come from the root of MUSIC styles???  I just don't understand.  I sat down in church yesterday, unbeknownst to me, in front of whom I now regard as one of the rudest elderly ladies I have ever seen or heard.  Now as I write, don't get me wrong here...I completely respect the elderly even when they are rude, simply because they're older than me and much more experienced.  However, when it comes to complaints like the ones I heard in church yesterday, I'm not sure how to maintain that respect. 
 
The worship band was comprised of high schoolers (except for Chelsea singing) and they did a great job. The woman behind me apparently disagreed.  The entire time we were singing, she complained to her friend with phrases like "Oh dear Lord" or "I can't even understand what they're saying" or "UGGHHHH" and many other things I didn't hear and tried not to.  I was so distracted by her old lady smoker voice that was filled with griping comments.  Once when the worship band stood up again to lead in an song after prayer she said "oh, not them again!" and kept moaning and groaning about everything.  Once in awhile when she spewed out a rude remark I'd sort of glance back at her to let her know I could hear her.  At the end of the service there were 2 baptisms, and one of the members of the worship team just didn't know to kneel down to get out of the way (not a big deal, b/c you could still see around him).  So TWICE I heard this old lady murmur "STUPID IDIOT" and that's when I really got mad.  She was lucky she left during the closing song (b/c she didn't like it) because I really wanted to say a few things to her (not in a bad way, but to try to build a bridge somehow). 
 
Anyways, I have a serious problem when it comes to that kind of generation gap.  First of all, she should have chosen the earlier traditional service if she didn't prefer that type of music  Second, the church too often ignores this type of thing and just lets it go as "well she's just older, we'll just leave it alone and try to please the elderly as much as possible by keeping their traditions".  I do agree w/ keeping traditions that are Biblical, but I don't agree with doing things to please people.  There are no specifications on music styles in the Bible, but I do know there are specific scriptures telling us not to complain, to submit to our church authority & leaders, to respect the elderly, yet not to look down on those who are younger b/c they can set an example, etc.  There are numerous counts against her and I find her guilty as one of those who build up walls within the Church today. 
 
There are so many lessons to be learned from the older generations.  I believe wholeheartedly that they have a lot more wisdom than we do, and our younger generations have the potential to become more ignorant as the years go by if we do not consider the wisdom and leadership of those older than ourselves.  I think it's quite unbiblical to keep traditions and just please people for tradition's sake.  I also think it's unbiblical to try to mold the church to fit the postmodern culture if it happens to compromise the Bible as the authority of the Church.  Yesterday I saw no compromise happen.  But I did see this: a HUGE generation gap that somehow needs to be bridged so that no one is torn down, disrespected, or discouraged from using their gifts in the church and in the world.  I know this is nothing new, and that this problem has existed for quite some time, but it needs to have constant attention.  It was just brought to my attention yesterday and I wanted to share it so we can all pray about some way to bridge the gap...b/c I certainly don't know how!!!
 

Thank You Aquafresh!
 
After reading my most recent blogs and after what you're about to read in this blog, I'm considering creating an Awards ceremony for products... just for anything in the world!  Man it would be huge!  They already have awards for tv shows, movies, music, sports, etc. but not for commercials or products as far as I know.  We could come up w/ a new name...let's see, they've got the Emmy's, Grammy's, what could we name it?  Anyways, there would obviously be different categories for like "best new invention" or "best creativity" or "best commercial" (my personal favorite) or "best dual product commercial" (like Target's commercials that also advertise a product available in their own store--great idea to partner up guys!)...i don't know let's come up w/ some more categories. 
 
Anyways, the only reason I'm going on and on about this is b/c of one simple award I'd like to give out--to the people at Aquafresh.  So simple, yet so smart.  Their new toothpaste that has the floss thing in the cap (cleverly entitled "Floss 'N' Cap") is my favorite thing ever.  The toothpaste, though nothing special, is good, but they have promoted cleaner teeth for me.  I really don't like to floss and I just never thought about it most of the time until I bought this toothpaste.  However, now when I go to brush my teeth the floss cap is just sitting there staring at me, holding me accountable to flossing.  So, I've broken down and I do it every single night before I brush.  What great accountability!  And so, I suppose Aquafresh would win the accountability award. 
 
As you can see, these blogs are just getting better and better (as you and I both roll our eyes or laugh at that statement).  Once again, a very non-inspiring, yet corny blog day.  I hope you have a wonderful day and an even greater weekend! 

Last Commercial Standing?

This is a good summery color, isn't it?  So last night, following my evening walk/run (in effort to reach my summer goal of working out at least twice a week), I returned home to watch my Tues. night lineup on TV.  On Last Comic Standing, it was the night where the Final Five would be chosen.  Unfortunately they called back the comedians who are no longer standing and, as if they were missed, they were asked to vote for who they wanted to see eliminated.  I was getting so mad, because I am sick of the non-funny people moving on just because the others have some sort of personal discrepancies or alliances against those who actually ARE funny.  So here's my suggestion for you if you ever go on a show like that-- forget your stupid strategies and alliances and give credit to whom is the funniest!  By the way, I'd really like to hit Bonnie McFarlane w/ one of those snow boots she wears w/ her flappy skirt when she performs, because she had the nerve to come back from being eliminated and say that no one left was funny!  ohhhh the nerve.....

And in the midst of all of this, I believe we should also have a TV reality show about commercials.  That's something new, right?  Then maybe we could get rid of all the overplayed commercials that are stuck in between the good shows we want to watch.  For awhile I was interested in the car commercials b/c I'm starting to look for a new car and all, but I think I've seen enough of the same ones!  Maybe a commercial competition entitled "Last Commercial Standing" would enforce a little more creativity?  Why not?  We already have FOX & ABC dueling w/ their copycat titles: Trading Spouses--Meet Your New Mommy (FOX), and ABC's already-hit Extreme Makeover, now fondly being called 'Trading Faces.'  What in the world is happening in the land of TV?  Is the summer programming really so bad that you can't come up w/ good ideas and good titles for shows?

Well, I suppose that's enough food for thought right now.  Yes, fulfilling, I know.  Today I don't think my blog is so much for inspiration as it is for venting about last night's television.  On that note, have a wonderful day! 

BLACKOUT
 
I never realized quite how much we depend on light until last night.  I had gone to sleep around 11:15 p.m. and at 12:00 I woke up wondering why it was suddenly much warmer in my bedroom.  Looking around, I noticed that it was pitch black and even my alarm clock didn't shed its ever-so-slight bit of light into my room.  I started to wonder if I was really awake, and after awhile I finally came to my senses and knew that the power had just gone out.  Not only in my apartment, but it was out in the entire town of Lincoln and even in towns nearby!  Even the street lights were out, so the city was a dark, dark place.  When the next car went past and its headlights spread a brief little light, I made my way to find my cell phone.  With its small light, I found my candle lighter and lit a candle in my room.  I carried that to the kitchen and sat to look out the window into the dark black night.  It was so spooky!  The cars on the street were the only source of light!  One car drove past, and stopped in the road below my apartment, rolled down their window, and I think said "hello?" once or twice.  Terrified and spooked as I was, I definitely didn't respond, b/c I had no idea what was going on.  So what next?  I just froze and sat there probably looking a little like a ghost in the window but oh well.  That's when I didn't want to be living by myself in my apartment. 
 
I went back to my room and sat there in the candlelight wondering "God, is there something you want to teach me through this?"  All I came up w/ was the reiteration of several places in Scripture that refer to Jesus as the light and us as the light of the world.  Seeing how black it was w/o any light last night it was scary to think how dark this world could possibly be!  Dang, we've got a job to do!  (hm...do i risk the cheesiness factor by imagining Kathy Troccoli's old tune "Go Light Your World" that we all heard at graduation one time or another?  I think NOT!) Anyways, though it was quite terrifying by myself last night in the city-wide blackout, I realized its parallel to ministry.  It was a God thing that I woke up last night during that blackout, just like it was a God thing that I woke up from who I used to be and decided I wanted to do ministry of some kind for the rest of my life!  Yeah, it's still scary sometimes by myself, but hey--"this little light of mine, i'm gonna let it shine!"   OK, that's enough for today...
 

Ooh, how exciting!  The blogging people have finally given some options to its users in font, size, color, etc.!  This is a nice change! 
 
What a great past few days I have had.  It has just been nice...good long walks/a little running by myself, my wonderful book that I've only got a chapter left in, seeing friends, a new ministry opportunity w/ Fuel @ Eastview, and I'm just lovin' it!  It has been beautiful outside, and enjoying that is one of my favorite things.  I went to the pool this morning (today's my great friday off--yay!)  and that's always a nice relaxing time.  Now I'm heading out to the store soon. 
 
Possibly going to see Anchorman tonight but i'm not sure...I've heard mixed things about it, but I think I'll see it anyway.  There was something I saw in Wal-Mart last night that I found funny and wanted to write about in here, but I can't remember what it was!  Grrr...  Well this is a boring blog so it's about to end.  Have a lovely weekend everyone!
 

here's an enjoyable link if you're extremely bored...listen to samples of Kidz Bop CD's online--why in the world did someone go to this extreme? Somewhat funny, yet somewhat scary. do we really want our children to sing Shakira's "Whenever, Wherever?" Haha. check it out.

http://www.towerrecords.com/product.aspx?pfid=2771442&dm=t&recfrom=Kidz+Bop-2570104

Twentysomething...

So yesterday I checked a book out from the library called "Twentysomething" by Margaret Feinberg. I must admit, I felt slightly embarrassed about checking out a book about "striving and thriving in the real world as someone in their 'quarterlife crisis'." I began to read it last night and I could NOT put it down! It's really good, though I feel like much of it is common sense that I am thankful to have already known. My life is certainly not in shambles like it could be at my age--I don't have a monstrous credit card debt, I already know how to bargain-shop, I never expected to make millions in my life (did you know that in a 2001 survey, 52% of college graduates stated they expect to be millionaires by the age of 40? call me a skeptic, but dream on!), and much of the other practical wisdom in the book has already come to my knowledge just by living on my own. However, there's something about this book that's grappling, and I can't put my finger on what it is... I like it a lot, but I don't know whether if you read it I'd guarantee the same for you.

Enough about my readings...how about my TV lineup? Out of my expansive range of two channels, I have a Monday & Tuesday night lineup on FOX and NBC. Yes, I have subjected myself to the ridiculous summer drama & reality TV programming. Here goes:
*Monday*
7:00 North Shore on FOX
8:00 For Love or Money 2 on NBC
9:00 Who Wants to Marry Our Dad? on NBC
10:00 Friends rerun on FOX

*Tuesday*
7:00 rerun of previous week's Last Comic Standing
8:00 new Last Comic Standing (i love this show!)
9:00 Law & Order: SVU

So there you go...now you know how I spend my mondays & tuesdays in lincoln, IL. sadly, i look forward to having something so ridiculous to keep me busy! In the midst of watching, I have to give props to some advertising agencies who are finally thinking out of the box--great job!

Ad Agency for Meijer--way to use the reverse psychology on us! (commercial w/ the little girl tasting a brand of spinach and then says "yuck" and then she tastes the Meijer brand spinach and says "yuck"--their idea is that you're getting the same quality you get from any other brand...for less)

Ad Agency for Sprint --What better way to teach us about your cell phone minutes/plans than by pretending to manipulate children by limiting their macaroni minutes or by giving the special brand new art set only to the new student b/c she's more special than anyone else?

Ad Agency for T-Mobile--nice try for trying to be just like Sprint w/ your commercial w/ the guy jumping after his cell phone into the gorilla pit at the zoo b/c he's afraid the gorilla will make a roaming call on his phone. keep trying, maybe you'll catch up to the other cell-phone company bigwigs.

Ad Agency for Olive Garden & Red Lobster -- you're doing great at making me want your food every time I see your commercials. keep it up, you're going to make me broke and fat someday!

That's all for now...i'm sure you're overwhelmed w/ this long boring mass of blog. hope you have a wonderful day! leave me a comment...it gives me something to do!

Who am I?

Good question. I don't know either. I'm making progress daily though on figuring out the answer to that question. It's quite an adventure to learn more about yourself, and I think it's a lifelong adventure. I feel like in the past few days I've learned a lot about myself. I won't share the personal details, but some of the silly things I spend too much time focusing on have come to surface in my mind. It's great to realize those things but it's so hard to figure out how to implement any change.

I went to CIY for 2 days to visit the girls' CIY team that I supervise, and it was soooo refreshing. My heart is so passionate about the ministry of Christ In Youth. I really hope to work there someday and I'm beginning already to pray for open doors in the future. I had the chance to see A LOT of people I knew from my 6 weeks of CIY last summer and from my internship w/ One 5 Oh and from past years on camp teams. What a great time, but it gets to be somewhat draining. Sometimes I wonder if I spread myself too thin in efforts to visit & talk w/ such a plethora of people. However, that's probably my own fault.

Other than that, what an incredible time of praise! CIY has always been like a little tiny vision of heaven that increases my faith like a thousand times more. It was fun to worship w/ the music of One 5 Oh again, even though it was slightly weird to not be up there anymore! Also, Jayson French knocked it out of the ballpark w/ his sermon friday night. WOW!!! To make it short, his point was this: "GO!!!!" It's that simple. Don't sit there. Don't get comfortable. Don't be afraid. Don't fear your lack of confidence. Don't be afraid that you don't have the right words to say. Don't worry that you might be rejected by the world or people around you. Get up, and GO!!! Make a difference! Find just one person to invest yourself in and begin praying for them. How awesome would it be if every student at every CIY this summer accepted the challenge to bring one person to Christ in the next year--- the Kingdom would be drastically changed and expanded! The theme of CIY this summer is "The Kingdom" and that's exactly what I need to be focused on more. Not myself, but my cause.

"Let's kick off our shoes and wade through the night..."

What a great summer song...I am listening to a little Matty Wertz right now and that song just makes me want to go run around outside on a summer night...or dance...either one.

I was looking at Relevant Magazine online earlier and found a review for a new jazz artist named Jamie Cullum--his CD is next on my list to purchase I think. Go to Best Buy's website and listen to samples of his CD, Twentysomething. He's like 23 years old with the vocals and style of Steve Tyrell or Frank Sinatra, and lyrics that somehow remind me of John Mayer but are quite similar to classic jazz people like Frank or Tony Bennett.

Oh let's see...since my last post I've been to Cincinnati and back. It was actually a good time in the city, even though it was for Bible Bowl! One of the teams saw Nick & Jessica in Grater's eating ice cream on Wed. night, so I had my eyes peeled everywhere I went in hopes of seeing them myself. (no such luck.) Tomorrow I'm going to CIY in Anderson, IN to visit the CIY teams from LCC, and I'm so excited to see lots of people I know from different things. good friends. good memories. good times.

Other than that...I'm still stuck in this funk of not knowing who I am or what my passions are or what I want to do for the rest of my life. I think sometimes I'm too focused on figuring that out, but really it's not my job to figure it out. God's got it all under control and so I've just got to let it go and realize that this is all part of the growing-up in life and faith process. Eventually, I suppose I'll just know...is that how it works? I hope so. Kinda like when people say you "just know" when you've met the person you're going to marry? I'm not so sure how that works, but then again you never know... Anyways, I'm realizing that I'm not the only one who feels this way...in fact, a lot of people I've talked to feel the same way this summer. It's encouraging to know other people are in the same place as you.

Well, though the end of my work day is still a good hour and a half away, I'll end this blog. You'd be so bored if I wrote for another hour and a half! later yo.

Cincinnati ho!

No, I don't mean "ho" as you might hear in a P. Diddy number, instead more like a pirate. Just picture me w/ a pirate eye patch on and wearing stripes (do they wear stripes? i don't remember)--anyways that's funny to think about. If you're ever sad just think of that for a little chuckle. For real though I'm heading out to Cincinnati in about an hour and it'll be nice to escape this office for a few days. I'll be back Friday after I attend the Lauren/Ryan Sarver wedding in Catlin on my way back. Then I'm headed home for "Streator's 4th/America's Best"--we've got some pretty darn good fireworks! Some have said they're better than Chicago's fireworks...I'd like to agree but I've never seen them in chi-town.

You might be asking, "what are you going to Cincinnati for?" Well, funny you ask. Unfortunately it's for the Bible Bowl national tournament downtown...quite a rowdy time if you ask me! I have no idea what I'll be doing but during my non-exhibit hours I'll be wandering around the Hilton Netherlands Plaza or the mall that is connected to it. The other 3 hours of the day I'll be standing by the LCC display wondering if any students will talk to me about LCC or not. Well, I should make sure I'm ready to go. Have a wonderful Wednesday!

Great snippets from my weekend...

I'll fill you in on some things that made me smile, made me laugh, made me think, made me inspired, or something else this weekend:

*I was INSPIRED when my mom and aunt came friday and helped me do some more decorating in the apt. Thanks aunt Irene--she's so darn good at that stuff!

*It made me SMILE when I got lots of cool cheap deals on stuff at garage sales and mission mart, etc. for my apartment that further inspired my decorating!

*I LAUGHED really hard when I saw this little kid running around his/her yard in Bloomington in this bright green, hideously scary, furry, fluffy, animal-looking costume that covered him/her (i couldn't tell) from head to toe in the heat of the afternoon!

*It made me THINK a lot last night at Fuel and yesterday at Eastview about a lot of things: how I care too much about what other people think, how I should care more about my character on the inside and what people think of THAT than what they think of the OUTSIDE, also just about how much I focus on me, me, me in my faith rather than just the awesomeness of Christ and his sacrifice--it's all for His glory and not mine!

*It made me THANKFUL just today at lunch that I have a job, an apartment, food to eat, water to drink, air to breathe, and it could be taken away in just one second. God's so huge and so powerful!

*I'm EXCITED b/c I just got these two cd's from a booking agent to listen to possible people to book for fall campus challenge. My current selection is Shawn McDonald, a new artist, who is extremely creative and talented from what I've heard so far.

Well, that's all I'll throw out at ya for now. There's plenty more that was inspiring, uplifting, happy, or challenging to me but I'll spare you. Have a great day and thank God for something or someone today! Be reminded of how powerful and awesome He is!

Breakthroughs...

So last night I came home from work w/ a stomachache and decided I didn't really feel like going to the women's Bible study that I attended the week before. I just wanted to be lazy and not go, and I kept telling myself "Mandy, you know that if you go you're gonna end up completely glad you went!" And so I went. Know what happened? You guessed it! I was blessed beyond belief! I was learning things right and left and listening to women talk about their marriages, their kids, their struggles and doubts and sufferings, their past experiences when they were my age, and how they've grown through it all. It's amazing what honesty they shared about how it's just so hard some days to be a mother and a wife. One person mentioned this: As a parent, sometimes you're the only image of God that your children see. How you treat them and love them is the only reflection they see of how God loves them! WOW--what a huge responsibility! Parenting is such a ministry! So high-five to all you mothers and fathers out there--I hope I'll be a great image and reflection of God someday to my own kids!

In this Bible study it ends up being just a big discussion about daily life and other things. We also got on the subject of doubt and suffering and how some Christians deal with it. If you're ever struggling w/ something and someone throws one of those stupid Christian cliches on you like "God is with you" or "Smile, Jesus loves you" or "Things look up when you look to God" or "It's OK, God has a plan"--ugh!! How does that make you feel? Those are annoying, frustrating, and just plain hindering to one's growth during a time of struggle or doubt or suffering. Growth only happens through those times of struggle! The best thing for someone to do is to get into that boat WITH you, just listen, cry with you, and just BE there. You have to meet people where they're at, and that's how they grow. Why else did God send Jesus to earth as a human? He didn't just look down on us and say "I'm here for you" or "I love you" but instead he showed it with Jesus' life and death. He came here, walked the earth, loved people, and died for us to meet us where we are! If Jesus had never come to earth, God would seem like some far-off, distant being to us!

Anyways sorry about the soapbox, but that was my breakthrough last night. It's so amazing to understand the greatness of God and why on earth he sent Jesus. So, Christians, forget your silly little cliche lines and just love people. Forget the little phrases and goofy bumper stickers and live it out! That's my goal...

Have a great weekend!

It's crazy how when certain things happen throughout my day now, I think "I'll have to write about that in my blog!" It's quite sad, actually, that I think of things ahead of time to write in here--there's just so much self-inflicted pressure to make sure everything noteworthy is in here and well-said! In reality it just doesn't matter what I write about...

But I will tell you something I saw and wanted to write about the other night. While driving in Bloomington Monday night I passed this car and in the driver's side of the backseat, there was the cutest dog ever and it just seemed to be smiling at me! It just looked so darn happy to be riding in the car w/ its family! I can picture it still, and it just makes me smile! He (or she) was just adorable, and I wondered--Do dogs really smile? I wish you could actually see the difference between their normal face and their smile, but maybe it's more fun to just assume they are. Oh, the silly things I ponder...

It has been a great day today--met some new students who came to early registration and will be here in august. They were cool and I'm really hoping that our campus has a fresh spiritual energy (that sounds a little too new-age-ish but you know what i mean) this fall. I'm looking fwd. to see what potential leaders and awesome students God will raise up out of this new class.

I also almost had Shaun Groves booked for Fall Campus Challenge, but I had to turn that down a minute ago b/c we need something a little more w/ a full band. If he would have been w/ a full band it would be a go, but nope. SO, cross your fingers for Dave Barnes--he's my next possibility and how awesome would that be? (you're thinking "i have no clue b/c i've never heard of him") If that's true, go to www.davebarnes.com and listen--good stuff. OK this is long enough (as if there's a requirement!) so I'll free you up for awhile. Post a comment and let me know what you think about the dog smiling thing--can they smile? how about some other fun dog info? later dawgs...

It has actually been a busy day! I had a visit today at 11:30, which went well (my first one by myself), and then ate a really late lunch (ordered First Wok--yum), and then helped M.K. move her office. So, all in all, I've done some useful things and I have some things on my desk that I'm leaving unfinished for another day!

Nothing too exciting to write today... I got a new journal last night from B&N, that was fun! I love to journal these days--especially on here b/c I can type faster than write. I'm looking fwd. to a night of just relaxing in my apartment and reading, maybe watching one of the 3 channels I get on TV for a bit, making a frappe from my sis's yummy Homemade Gourmet mix, and then going to bed early.

I wish I had something more interesting to say, but I don't. It's kind of like one of those bottlecaps that you open with excitement hoping that you won $1000 or even just another free pop, but you're sadly disappointed with the words "You are not a winner. Try again." So I apologize that there's no prize value to the words of my blog today! Try again tomorrow!

Time: 3:37 p.m.

What I'm waiting for: a student to arrive to meet w/ him about coming to LCC

On my list of CDs to order eventually: Nickel Creek's "This Side", Bethany Dillon's self-titled, Ginny Owens' "Beautiful", and possibly Jonathan Barnes' "File Under Agrarian."

Plans for tonight: Go w/ Chantell to see her son Ryder play baseball

Plans for tomorrow: If the sun's a-shinin', I'll be a-tannin' at the pool all day, then heading to see Brad Paisley at the Sangamon County Fair! Yay!

What I plan to have for supper: Hm....First Wok anyone?

What you're thinking right now: Why is Mandy's blog in this weird format today?

My answer: I have no idea...I'm just cool like that I suppose :-)

I'm off to see the wizard...the wonderful wizard of Oz!
Bye-eee!!!

Turn the page...

I'm really getting into looking for good books--i've just gotta start reading them! I just bought two books today from the bookstore (i love having a staff gift card to put them on!) Anyways, I bought "Adventures in Missing the Point: How the Culture-Controlled Church Neutered the Gospel" by Brian McLaren and Tony Campolo as well as "Faith, God, and Rock & Roll: How People of Faith Are Transforming American Popular Music" by Mark Joseph. I hope they're good!

I've been reading a book called "A Childlike Heart" by Alan D. Wright, and I got it on clearance really cheap like two yrs ago. I'm really loving it so far, and I'm quite surprised at how good it is! Here is an excerpt from the chapter on Childlike Failure:

Failing is what little children do best. Little children fail a lot but seldom feel like failures. Adults, who fail far less, tend to feel like failures. How many times would you be willing to spit up on yourself in public before giving up on warm milk? How many times would you be willing to strain the muscles in your entire body just for the chance of rolling over? How many times would you be willing to fall on your bottom in front of cheering onlookers just for the chance to walk? How many times would you let the asphale skin your knee just for the chance to conquer a bike without training wheels? Most of the time, a child's failure is public. Conversely, one good public failure is enough to send many adults into seclusion... Little children never focus on their failures; they focus on their goals. Adults, on the other hand, become so consumed with their failures that they forget their goals.

The writer then refers back to Peter's faith/lack of faith in walking on the water in Matthew 14. Though it's a simple train of thought, it's quite profound I think. And quite a good reminder for us as well.

Other than that, I have spent some time helping josh design new LCC t-shirts. Josh also tightened the battery in my car for me today b/c last night i had yet another scare w/ my lovely little Grand Am GT in the Dollar Tree parking lot. I was about in tears when after pulling halfway out of my parking space my poor little pontiac stopped and refused to even shift into neutral or start. SO thankfully this lady, a wife of a mechanic, came and helped me...she messed w/ a few things, kept moving my steering wheel up and down, and eventually got it started several times and said that my battery just needed to be tightened. Also I might have a short in my steering wheel. Out of fear, I am still driving w/ my steering wheel all the way up so now i look like an old lady.

I'm also concerned about this bump on my leg...looks like a mix between a bruise and a bug-bite. what is it? i haven't a clue...though i did kill a scary looking bug in my apt. the other day...could it be? i doubt it. well this is a long bunch of blog, so i'll free you from the ramblings. oh--surprise! brad paisley is at the sangamon county fair in 2 days--i want to go! yay! keep it country ya'll.

Let me just say that Bethany Dillon is freaking amazing. She's 15 and has more talent that I've ever seen a 15 year old girl have. She definitely has more WISDOM than your average 15-year-old girl. Go to her website: www.bethanydillon.com and read her lyrics, listen to her music, and read her online journal and tell me she's not brilliant! Just try!

Right about now I'm REALLY hoping that some of YOU start your own blogs someday soon b/c I'm extremely bored and I feel like I've researched the internet to the farthest extent. actually I'm lying about that...b/c every day I do find something new and cool to look at. I've been spending a lot of time at www.relevantmagazine.com checking out some cool articles and what-not. I have read every person's blog that I know of (which isn't many) and I have checked up on all my favorite musical artists' websites. I have cleaned out the drawers of this thing in Greg's office. I have cleaned out the admissions closet a little bit. I have organized and labeled all my file folders in my file cabinet. I have cleaned up my desk. I have entered students' names and info into the computer and I have nothing left to do. so please, start a blog! i'm kidding, you don't have to. (as if i had convinced you anyway!)

Well I'm about to try to find something else to do around here before I leave and go to the bank. keep it real folks. layta.

It's a new week and I've had a lot of new ideas and perspectives as of this weekend. Good weekend of fun, fellowship, and friends. Hung out w/ amanda and went out in b-ton and had an eye-opening experience at a bar actually. We realized that the awkwardness we feel in a bar is probably quite similar to the awkwardness some of those people probably feel coming to the church. Now whenever I sit in a church service I'm thinking, "what on earth would those people be thinking or feeling at this moment if they were here?" to get a new perspective on ministry and how the church can reach out to a different generation and culture than it's known for...without compromise, of course. I do have a huge vision for that and I am praying for new opportunities to get involved in a church community and to serve where I am gifted...but I'm still figuring all that out. So if you have suggestions on where to serve or what areas you think I'd do best in, I'd love to hear it b/c I have a hard time figuring that all out at times.

Last night I went to Fuel at Eastview and felt an urge to serve there, but I'm still praying about it. I'm beginning to see more of how this job is first and foremost a ministry rather than a job, and I'm going to have to remind myself of that on the days when I feel like it's more of a job, or even a time to just sit in front of a computer all day. We had a girl visit today and she had an amazing testimony, and it's encouraging to see incoming students/transfers who have a willing heart to do ministry and are already so passionate that you can see them being successful in God's eyes. She was a blessing today.

Now it's even past time to leave work but I had to get in my daily blog...I didn't even notice that it was time to go and I was organizing my file folders. I need to continue doing that tomorrow, that's for sure! I do have stuff to do but i'mjust now realizing it! Well I'm out of here...off to the bank to set up an account. (which will soon be empty due to my bills that will soon arrive and smack me in the face w/ the warm message of "welcome to life after college!!!" On that note, God bless your day! :-)

TGIFO! Thank God for Fridays off! It's almost the weekend for me!

I've been feeling mighty inspired to do some things that are quite out of the ordinary lately. I'm enjoying writing a lot, and I think I'm going to contribute some Music Reviews to Relevant Magazine--the coolest magazine ever. I was looking around their website today and actually found an article from Mark, a long-lost friend from CIY last summer. He's from England and none of us from last summer had heard of him since he left in the middle of the summer. It was good to know he was at least alive and writing! If you want to read his article, go to www.relevantmagazine.com, click on GOD on the left, and then go down to an article in the right column called "Searching for Community." It's a good one.

I'm also newly (is that a word) enthused about Internet radio. I found the greatest standard jazz station today that I listened to pretty much all day long. I hope when Josh gets back to the office he doesn't hate me for playing music all the time!

Not sure what to do w/ my thursday night...maybe sit in the coffee shop I live above? I haven't even been in there since I moved in yet, so I should go. That's the plan for now unless I find something else to do, which I might--I have now compiled a list of things I want to do this summer--goals and dreams and silly little things. Maybe I'll tackle one tonight! I'm out. Have a great weekend, but before you go...check out this link--it's hilarious!!!
http://www.nata2.info/humor/movies/money_funny.asf

Aaahh...another long day of work has almost passed. I don't think I'll ever reach the end of lists of prospective students to be called on the phone, unfortunately. It's a darn good thing I like to call people--except not really. I really don't like to call people that I don't know, so it's not my fave thing to do but it's my job.

Last night I experienced God's providence through answered prayer in an awesome way. The sad part is, I was kind of surprised that my prayers were answered for some reason. I'm not sure why I was surprised, but possibly because it was such a quick response! Without making a short story long, I basically just wanted to know that there were people around to hang out for the summer so I wouldn't be bored and lonely by myself in my big apartment. Then, Kate called me to go out for dinner, and when I got home from that Amanda called and came to visit me! I was just praying for some good, meaningful conversations and last night was just full of them! I love catching up w/ my friends. I get to do that again tonight w/ Becka before she moves to Cali, so that's good news.

After Amanda left last night I was making banana bread (yeah i'm fun i know) and finishing up the book Fresh Faith by Jim Cymbala. Great book...great reminder to have faith and trust in God's promises. Unfortunately I'm too tired to remember some of the great quotes in there that I underlined, but I'll be sure to plug them in here someday.

For now, I'm almost out of here. Good thing b/c my eyes might just close and stay shut if I sit in front of this computer and phone anymore. I was going to drink coffee to wake me up but I forgot GT shut it off and now it's cold. I still took like 3 drinks of it, but it's gross. So, tip for the day: don't drink cold coffee that wasn't meant to be cold.

~peace~

Well, well, well... It's been a long time. Isn't that what everyone says when they haven't written in a journal or a blog or a diary in forever? It's funny...as if we need to say it to the inanimate object--"Sorry journal, how have you been?"

Life is all new for me...living in Lincoln and working here at the school now for good. Some days are pretty boring so far, so I have been reading other people's blogs and realizing that I need to get on the blogging ball! I love reading other people's blogs yet I feel like I'm spying or eavesdropping if I "find" someone else's without their knowledge. It's kinda weird. I want some of my friends to get blogs too!

Yesterday was like the end of the world almost...at least for half of Lincoln. I was leaving to head back to work from my lunch break and found out my car wouldn't start. That was upsetting. So I called for a ride, got back to the office within 4 minutes, only to find that there was a power outage in half the town including the entire campus! (looking back there was about a 5 min. span between me coming downstairs from the apartment and the power outage, and it's a good thing I didn't happen to take the elevator and get stuck--thanks for looking out for me on that one God!) Well, needless to say, there was not much to do at the office w/o power, so we all had the rest of the day off! And I got a new car battery and it's fresh and roarrring to go!

Living the single life in my apt. by myself is already boring...but it is making me read more and that's a good thing. I'm deeply in need of spiritual refreshment--no not punch and cookies--but a tighter relationship with J.C. -- That just reminded me of the line on Meet the Parents where he talks about Jesus and calls him that--funny. Well I'm off to do some more work! Just taking a blog break and catching up with my poor empty blog.

TV and life

So the final Friends just finished about 1 minute and a half ago and I felt like venting on here rather than crying to myself while wondering how in the world a TV show can become so real to us. Wow, what a great show, and how realistic was that! Sure it's unrealistic in some ways too, but so close to reality in the idea of moving on in life. How is it that the producers of a show can make it feel like you're right there w/ the characters and they're right here with you. They're so darn good at it! I feel like a big dork, but I'm going to miss those guys!

Well I thought I had a lot more to say than that but I can't do it without getting too cheesy, and I'll save the world from having to read that. We've got enough cheesiness...

Alright, I'm out to find a Mother's Day gift for my momma!
peace.

HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!!!
Too bad I can't think of any good pranks to play on anyone. I wish I was good at that stuff! I'm also glad I'm not in the office today b/c I'm sure the Arts staff at CCC is like the best you could find in a world of pranksters! So yes, it's been awhile, and I'm now in a different place again. I can't wait to be settled somewhere for good! I moved up to Naperville last week and have been interning at Community Christian Church and I LOVE it! The church is based on what they call the 3C's: "Celebrate, Connect, and Contribute" and so far I have seen and experienced all three. I have felt so welcomed there and I have been able to connect and contribute more than I've felt in a long time. It's such a joy to actually know that I'm serving and making a difference in a way that fits me perfectly with my gifts and passions. I'm sad that it will be such a short internship!

As for post-graduation news, I will announce to any who are reading this (not many, if anyone at all) that I have accepted that position of Admissions Counselor at LCC. I'll be taking Chris Foster's position starting June 1, so I am looking forward to that. It will be a great experience to start out with and maybe after a year or two of that I'll be able to serve again in a church like CCC in Naperville or somewhere like it.

The people I live with here are great. It's a single woman, about 34, w/ her 13 year old daughter Alex. Sherrie, the mother, is engaged and getting married in July, and it's so fun to watch how excited and in love she is. It's encouraging to me to have that to look forward to someday!

By the way, I never got to update on the Shane & Shane concert I went to TWICE in one week! Shaun Groves, Ginny Owens, and Shane & Shane. What a great experience to have to sit back and listen to music that reflects the Scriptures and allows me to worship even just in listening! I am constantly listening to Shane & Shane's newest CD, "Upstairs," because it is really personal to me. It's mostly about being lovesick for the Lord and that is truly how I've felt. I have missed His presence and been unsure of how to get back to it and that's what the CD's about! I know everyone seems to say that I'm obsessed w/ Shane & Shane, but it's not them that I'm obsessed with. It's that their music and their lyrics make me so much more obsessed w/ Jesus and they make me love him even more. THAT is what great music is all about.

Shaun Groves also spoke his mind about the true meaning of worship and how little music has to do w/ it. So true, so true. It's more about loving the least and serving than it is about singing. His comment: "I find that there are a lot more singers than worshippers." Man that has changed me since the first AND second time I heard it--of course I can serve by singing but I need to find other ways to serve and love the least.

Well there's my piece for the day...maybe for the month, since I have forgotten to write in this thing for so long! I'm going to explore the area a little more and possibly take a ride up to IKEA--fun! :-) Have a great day everyone.

"When we love the least, we love Jesus."

So life is moving right along, and still no internship is 100% secured. Interesting, b/c I'm finished w/ this one in approximately 5 days. It's funny b/c i'm not really scared--God's got it under control and doors will open in His time I'm sure!
I'm just waitin' it out!

Other than my internship being crazy, I have had a GREAT week so far! Chels and Courtney are in town for spring break so I have spent lots of time hanging out w/ them having good girly conversations and laughing a lot! It's such a blessing to have girls around! It was a blast going to see Dave Barnes in concert Friday night--if you're reading this and have never heard his music, you NEED to! He's so good. The guy who opened for him, Andy Davis, was pretty good too! After listening to their cutesy acoustic/jazzy love songs I've realized I'm a hopeless romantic who needs to daydream a little less. Or do i...

I love this city by the way. Indianapolis feels homey to me and I'd so love to be back here again someday! I hate to leave it, but I think I'll be back. Don't worry Indy...I will return! I don't know when, but I will!

Well that's all I've got for tonight--nothing funny, nothing creative, nothing special. Wow, I'm boring! I'm going to bed!

Layta dawgs.

Home Sweet Indiana

Well I'm back in black, and by black I mean cold! Sure it's not freezing in Indiana but it was nice and warm in Florida! However that was a tease b/c i didn't get to chill on the beach or anything! It was a nice trip but also a long one...two days of travel in the bus? A little much I must say! Gosh there are some weird scary places in Florida, though, and I think they need to reconsider hiring certain ppl for work at their fast-food restaurants. We almost ate at a Steak 'n Shake somewhere in florida and once we realized that the one and only waitress was completely wasted (and looked like she rolled around in the food for awhile) we got up and left. A few more experiences like that made me consider not going back to Florida again, but then I remembered that the sunshine is well worth it!

However, it is good to be back in the midwest. Looking fwd. to chilling w/ the girls around here in the area! Can't wait to see Dave Barnes in concert friday night--great music. Other than that I've got 2 weeks left of this internship and then it's off to a new and unknown place! Looks like possibilities are happenin' in chi-town so i'm excited about that! Well i'm goin to bed, it's been a loooong week! if you're my friend and you're reading this give me a call sometime! (Rachel, Krista, and Steph you're the only ones i know of who read this so hi girls!) hope to see ya'll soon!
love ya!

Question of the day...

Before I actually ask my question I must state the obvious fact that I just love to put the ellipses (...) in everything I type! I'm not sure why I started that but I think it's b/c it makes things look like they'd sound if I were talking instead of typing.

Anywho, here's my question:

Do I move to Texas or not?

AHHHHH!!!!!
Life decisions are just so simple--like what do I order for dinner at Burger King, what to pack for the weekend in Chicago, or where to live in my near future? Ahhhh...the sweet simplicity of life. If only that were true!

Less than 24 hours...
...until I worship w/ Shane and Shane in Kentucky!!! Can't wait

Greater than $250...
...is what my car is costing (my parents, thankfully, not me) to get a new muffler so it no longer resembles a monster

Less than a week to a month and a half or so...
...to decide my future basically! (eh, no big deal...unless you're ME--the most indecisive person on the planet)

Greater than all my sin...
...Grace, grace, God's grace...(HAHA just kidding--threw that one in to be funny)

Less than one...
...is how many of my fave Cinnamon Crunch bagels were left at Panera tonight when I went...grrrr...STOCK UP crazies!

Greater than Hallmark cards...
...are the cards I now love to make! I love to be crafty! So i've only made 3 so far but oh yes, there will be more.

Less than 7...
...is the number of hours I am about to get of sleep until I get my car fixed at 7:30 a.m. (don't worry call the Car-X man)

Greater than 2 inches...
...is how much hair I had cut off today! I love it though, it's way different than I'm used to and I now have cute bangs on the side! Though I don't look much like Meg Ryan in Kate & Leopold, which is kinda the idea of the picture I had, I still love my new hair. We'll see how much I like it tomorrow when I have to style it myself though.

Less than 1...
...is what I would score on a scale of 1-10 for having the coolest blog ever. Where in the world did I come up w/ this idea? It's a good thing we all learned that "greater than(>)/less than(<)" lesson back in what, second grade? third grade? Where would we be if we had not learned that lesson? I haven't a clue...



Well that was fun. I love being random and weird. I'm off to bed now after a very random and weird day! Pray for me...i have lots of decisions to make about my future, which will be disclosed to you in the future when I myself know what i'm doing. :-)

Much love ya'll,
Goodnight!

"Hi, I'm backup Betty."

"Backup Betty?" you ask? Yeah, that's what my sister called me tonight on the phone when I told her that I sang w/ One 5 Oh! tonight at Chapel Rock Christian Church. Hilarious. Anyways, so yeah I sang and I consider that as conquering something I've been terrified to do for quite awhile. Interestingly enough it went pretty well and I think I'm singing again this weekend w/ the band in front of like 700 people in Cincinnati. I'm thinking about being introduced as Backup Betty...good idea? HAha. For real though, God taught me a lot just about worship in general...I was nervous at first but then halfway through I realized how selfish that was--why was I nervous to sing before my God? He doesn't care what I sound like, and if He gifted me to sing enough to be up on the stage then why should I be nervous, right? IT was more of a growth experience than I could ever put into words probably.

Among many other huge things in my life right now God is teaching me a TON! I'm starting to face some big decisions about the future for after graduation and all...just considering my options and figuring out what I want to do and where I want to go. It's scary yet exciting at the same time. I'm totally trusting God and every day it seems like I'm taking a new leap of faith! I'm growing so much though and it's amazing. I'm also SO thankful for all of my friends for keeping in touch w/ me so well (well, MOST of them!) It brings so much joy to my day just to talk to people that I know and love!

Looking fwd to this weekend at CBC--should be LOTS of fun! Also looking fwd to next week I'm going to visit LCC and my family in Streator! Yay! (only for like a day and a half but it's cool)

Well I have a lot to ponder and I'm going to go do that before I go to bed. Tomorrow's my big day off! Yay! Those are fun. ok I've officially used "yay" now 3 times in this...I'm done. sorry. I am going to talk to my Jesus and then i'm off to bed. :-) Goodnight all!

Random Thoughts...

So tonight as I sat and watched one of the best girly movies ever, You've Got Mail, I thought about Meg Ryan "sending a question out into the void." It reminded me much of what I'm doing right now. The internet is really something, isn't it? You can actually sit and type anything you want; you can write the complete truth or make up everything entirely. You could reinvent yourself as a completely imaginary person if you wanted! That could be fun...but fortunately my integrity always leads me to only truth-telling. However, I do enjoy writing whatever I feel or think without really knowing if anyone is going to read it or not. Sometimes I like to pretend that people actually look at this website, but then I remember that everyone has probably forgotten about it and I'm really just "sending these random letters out into the void" as Meg Ryan did. Ah well...I always did want to be just like her! I just love her hair in that movie so much!

OK enough about that. Things are great here--got back from skiing (or TRYING to ski) in PA this past weekend. It would take days to tell you about my many falls and tumbles to the ground so I'll save you from the torture! It was sure entertaining, I would say, and I'm positive that anyone who saw me was laughing!

This weekend we're staying around Indy so that's exciting. My first actual weekend around here!

Well I should really get some sleep...busy day in the office tomorrow! I have got to prepare myself! (Gosh, I'm in a crazy writing mood right now!) As I must quote from the movie one more time, "Thank Yer" for reading my blog! Layta.

Preparing for takeoff again

I cannot believe I haven't updated this in so long it seems like! Anyways, things have been great here in Indy. I'm starting to get more and more used to it so it's not too awkward here anymore. I've been working in the office and today I actually have a LOT to do! I'm working on sending out support letters and later this afternoon my task will be to go to the store and get lots of food to stock up the bus for our upcoming ski weekend in Pennsylvania. There is a high school winter retreat that we'll be at, and it's supposed to be several churches from the Indy area. I'm excited to go and to ski, even though I haven't "hit the slopes" since my first and last time in 8th grade! I'll try to count how many times I fall, but it will most likely be too many to number. I may have to start using letters too.

Anyways, it's weird b/c i'm never quite sure what to write on this thing b/c some of you I have talked to and updated you personally.

I suppose I should get going though b/c I'm going to head home for lunch soon. I'm in the office by myself at the moment, but my belly is a-rumblin'. I will hopefully talk to ya'll soon! Call me whenever you want, I love to hear from my friends and fam! Peace...I'm out.

(p.s. I looked back at my old blogs and remembered that I was going to pick a new song each day--oops, I guess I forgot about that! haha. I suppose that will be a random thing instead of daily.)

On the road and back again...

Whew! It's been awhile since my blogging days a week ago! I'm now in Avon, IN, sitting around in my house just checking my email. I moved on Thursday and already Friday I left w/ One 5 Oh to go to a high school winter retreat in northern Indiana. We got back late last night so I got to sleep in today--that was wonderful! The weekend was great and actually it was very similar to camp teams for me. I am really enjoying it so far though--the first day I was here I was kinda getting nervous and afraid of just the idea of everything being new and different to me, but I'm starting to get used to it now.

It's weird b/c you'd think I have a whole lot to write on here but nothing is really coming to my mind or fingers. I do need to get my shower and get ready to be in the office around 1:00 today so I could get started doing that instead. Maybe I'll have some more details to write about later. Hope everyone is having a wonderful New Year! Much love...