another sign from God from the Travel channel?

So last night I'm watching TV, flipping through the channels, when I stopped on the Travel Channel because of some "Best BBQ's" show where they talked about Texas.

Then I saw what was on next: "Home on the Range: Texas" What? Is it possible to hear about Texas more since I've been back than ever before? And of course, I waited to watch the show and found out that it was about SAN ANTONIO specifically! I had to tape it.

The funny thing was, they showed this place that looked just like Cowboys Dancehall but it was called the Far West Rodeo. I've yet to research and find out if they're the same or if that's an old name and the show was just outdated.

But now I know hot spots to go back to when I visit again--definitely going to get a Cactus Pear Margarita next time at the only place that serves them!

And I think i'd like to learn how to flemenco dance...

so I fall in love quickly...

with CITIES, not men, that is.

2 weeks ago? Brownsburg/Indianapolis
Currently? San Antonio.

I'm having a love affair with cities. It seems that I fall in love with every city I visit. Or maybe I just fall in love with the possibilities that exist in those cities. It's exciting to think about! Needless to say, I had a blast in Texas and it was so much fun to hang out and road trip back w/ Alli.

I have so much I'd love to post on here from the trip (especially pictures, but since I can't put them on here you'll have to see the few i put on myspace instead), but I've got to limit it to something for now.

So here it is...these are some reasons why I love San Antonio...or maybe just the south? (in no particular order)

1. First things first, Mamacita's Mexican Restaurant & Cantina. Best Mexican food ever. EVER. And, coolest atmosphere ever. I mean, come on, how many restaurants have you ever been to where you can see a shooting star on the ceiling? And watch them make the best tortillas ever? oh yum....and how many restaurants give you enough food to last you for 3 meals? oh yes, it did. thank you mamacita's. you're the best.

2. Cowboys Dance Hall. You know this girl loves to dance. It's not what you're thinking or picturing, which is probably some cheesy line-dancing place. Oh no. We're talking huge dance floor that is primarily covered with the two-step, a live band that is amazing, and when they take breaks, they play some good hip-hop. Good times. I'm taking yearly vacations back there to go back to Cowboys. For further reasons why...keep reading.

3. the southern boys. need i say more? i will anyway. Let me just say that there are some fine young gentlemen there. and they are, indeed, gentlemen. They POLITELY ask you to dance, and a few had to suffer through our Illinois non-two-stepping feet and teach us, but I was a fast learner. Thanks to the good teacher I had, some guy named Anthony. But oh, when they ask you to dance, they take your hand and lead you onto the dance floor so nicely...it's quite hard to resist. (unfortunately i had a hard time turning down a few 50 year old cowboy men, so i just had fun w/ it and danced w/ them.)

4. The Riverwalk. It's absolutely beautiful. Miles of beautiful scenery, restaurants where you can eat outside next to the river, lots of people, fun clubs like Howl at the Moon (where we went Friday night), etc. I could spend days at the Riverwalk just people-watching.

5. the culture. even though I don't know any Spanish except for "el bano" and a few other choice words, I enjoy the culture. The Market thing was cool, bought some fun Mexican goods, and there is music everywhere. You know this girl also loves music, so it's my kinda town. except when it's always the crazy Spanish music...but everywhere else, those Texans love good country and good hip-hop, which is just fine w/ me!

6. Sonic. Believe it or not, they're everywhere! We should have counted. I could get all the orange CreamSlushes I could ever want! I started to believe that the overabundance of Sonic's in the South combined w/ my recent obsession w/ orange creamslushes was a sign from God to move...is that possible?

7. WARM WEATHER!!! That's ALWAYS a plus. even if it's humid, I don't really care. I wouldn't mind being able to go year-round w/out an ice scraper or a giant alaskan parka.

So those are just a few reasons...probably more will come to mind later. Anyways that gives you a little rundown of some of what we did out on the town until Sunday. After that, it was off to Dallas, Tulsa, a brief stop in Joplin, and on back to IL on Tuesday.

I love experiencing new cities, and I do fall in love with them quite quickly. We'll just have to see where I end up! :-)

Why...

...does my lower back keep hurting from sitting in my desk chair?
...are my blog links way down at the bottom where you have to scroll down?
...do I get so easily angered by people sometimes?
...do I have a crush on someone I've never even met?
...am I trying to figure out packing schemes to try and avoid checking baggage?
...has the junk in my throat made a home there & I have random urges to cough?
...do so many of us jump to conclusions so quickly?
...did I wake up feeling extremely sore today from playing catch w/ a football TWO days ago?
...is it so wonderful to walk around outside without shoes on?
...do I not get paid more w/ this job...seriously I hate asking my parents for $$!
...can't I travel somewhere cool EVERY weekend to see all my friends? I'm going to get used to this!
...am I still blogging? It's 3:30 and I didn't take a lunch today, so I'm leaving early! I'm fixin' to go home and pack for Texas, ya'll! I'll write in here for ya'll again when I get back on Tuesday night!

good news + flying

here's the good news of the day (i've been informed by kate):

HITCH is playing at the Route 66 drive-in in Springfield this weekend! Woo-hoo! So, I was all excited to hear that, b/c I'd love to go see it next weekend when I'm back from Texas.

Bad news: it's only playing this weekend. grrr... I've never ever been to the drive-in, so i was all pumped about seeing my favorite movie there, but no longer will it happen.

Ok I posted the above stated once, but now I'm adding the following to this post:

After extensive research regarding my American Airlines flight this Friday, I have discovered that In Good Company will be playing on my plane. I couldn't be happier. I've wanted to see this movie since it came out! And I was really hoping to not have to fly w/ my ghetto Discman, since I'm way behind the times w/o an iPod and all...now I won't have to bring music at all except for our road trip home. American Airlines--if you screw this up for me I'll be ticked!

I'm extremely ridiculous about this flying thing...I've never done it by myself, so i'm nervous but excited! So I've been researching to make sure I don't bring anything over the required weight/size limits, and I thought it might be necessary to inform you of these odd things that American Airlines also gives limitations on:

antlers
archery
bicycles
boogie boards
bowling balls
fishing equipment
hangliders
javelin
kayaks, boats, sculls, canoes
oars
pole vault
scuba tanks
skateboard
snowboard, surfboard, kiteboard, wakeboard
windsurf, kitesurf

I found those quite hilarious...but it's just not the same unless you read their limitations here:
http://www.aa.com/content/travelInformation/baggage/baggageAllowance.jhtml?anchorEvent=false

bored

I forgot what it was like, for quite some time, to be bored at work. Today I remember.

So I'm blogging.

So...guess what?

-I leave in 3 days to go to San Antonio! What is funny is that several times when I've told people they have not heard me correctly and thought I said I was going to see Antonio. It's my first time to fly by myself, and I'll admit I'm scared, but I'm excited. I keep hearing people talk about cool in-flight conversations with strangers, and I'm anxious to meet who God will place next to me. I'm also excited to see a new city, hang out w/ Alli, road trip it back w/ her, see my cousins in Dallas that I haven't seen in 8 years, stop in Tulsa, maybe drop by Ozark, and come on back home next Tuesday!

-I hope the next 3 days go by fast...and I think they will!
-Tonight I have a cookout w/ my house church in Normal, and it's the last night for this school year!
-tomorrow night my SFG girls are coming over for dinner--should be fun!
-Thursday I'll pack, and Friday I'll eat breakfast w/ Kate & her boy Sam, and I'm on my way to St. Louie.

Yay! it's fun to travel. i can't wait to take pictures of every place we stop on the road trip.

In other news, Damien Spikereit totally spoke some great words in Chapel this morning...the best part? Him reminding us that when we feel inadequate it's okay because we ARE! we're all inadequate, inarticulate, we'll never be good enough leaders, we'll never be good enough teachers or preachers, and we'll always be in over our heads...because it's the WORD that is powerful. Power does not come from us.

Dang, it's a humbling reminder, but oh so necessary. Check out Isaiah 55 tonight and be amazed at the power of the Word. Just see what it can do. I'll be chewing on it for awhile.

the weekend

I had the bestest weekend ever. I wasn't in Lincoln, IL.

Left Friday night, picked up Aubs in Champaign, and headed to Indy to stay w/ the Fisher's in Avon. (They're the family I lived w/ last year during my internship and they are wonderful!) So, Melissa met us and stayed w/ us as well, and we had a good time catching up there. Saturday, we headed to Indian Creek for the Aaron & Shauna Johnson wedding. After that, Aubs and I went to Brownsburg, stayed w/ Julia, cooked out and had a "Christian party" (that's our little joke, actually) w/ some old One 5 Oh buddies who all work & live in Brownsburg now. Went to Brownsburg Christian Church on Sunday and now I'm trying to decipher my own desires from the Lord's nudging...

Is God calling me to move or am I just in love with leaving Lincoln? That is the question of the day. (along with when? how? where? what should i do?)

I've always had some weird connection w/ Brownsburg, Indiana, and I don't know why. After hanging out w/ my friends there Sat. night I just couldn't get over what a great time it was. It was nice to hang out w/ people--some who know me well and some who hardly do at all--and feel completely comfortable and have so much fun. Sometimes in Lincoln where all is familiar it seems more uncomfortable than comfortable...maybe a feeling of being unsettled...

so what's next? I'm not sure. i'm trying to figure out my piece in the puzzle. For now I'll just leave it at this: I had a great weekend and it was refreshing to see so many familiar faces that I love. Color me encouraged.

wanna know something funny?

On a completely different note from my previous post this morning, I thought I should fill you in on this:

This morning I woke up to the 7 a.m. singalong on WBNQ. what did they play?

Oh yes...it was Paula Abdul's "Cold-Hearted Snake."

Yessssssss..... I love it.

It was a whole lot easier to wake up when I could wake up dancing in my bed. :-)

Today I will make a difference

Last night I pulled off of my bookshelf Max Lucado's book On the Anvil. I have never read this before, and I also realized that it is Shelly's book (among all her other old LCC books that I still haven't returned and no longer need! I'll get those back sometime Shells!) But for some reason, I randomly fingered through the pages and read a few chapters, but this one...chapter 35...is what I need to tell myself daily. I am typing it out here so that as I type it comes out my fingers, seeps into my brain, more into my heart, and it is shared. Maybe next weekend I'll thank Max personally when I'm in San Antonio for these words that he shared 20 years ago.


Today I will make a difference. I will begin by controlling my thoughts. A person is the product of his thoughts. I want to be happy and hopeful. Therefore, I will have thoughts that are happy and hopeful. I refuse to be victimized by my circumstances. I will not let petty inconveniences such as stoplights, long lines, and traffic jams be my masters. I will avoid negativism and gossip. Optimism will be my companion, and victory will be my hallmark. Today I will make a difference.

I will be grateful for the 24 hours that are before me. Time is a precious commodity. I refuse to allow what little time I have to be contaminated by self-pity, anxiety, or boredom. I will face this day with the joy of a child and the courage of a giant. I will drink each minute as though it is my last. When tomorrow comes, today will be gone forever. While it is here, I will use it for loving and giving. Today I will make a difference.

I will not let past failures haunt me. Even though my life is scarred with mistakes, I refuse to rummage through my trash heap of failures. I will admit them. I will correct them. I will press on. Victoriously. No failure is fatal. It's OK to stumble... I will get up. It's OK to fail...I will rise again. Today I will make a difference.

I will spend time with those I love. My family, my friends, my co-workers, the people I see daily. A man can own the world but be poor for the lack of love. A man can own nothing and yet be wealthy in relationships. Today I will spend at least five minutes with the significant people in my world. Five quality minutes of talking or hugging or thanking or listening. Five undiluted minutes with my family, friends, or co-workers.

Today I will make a difference.

caedmon's call

And this is my Caedmon's Call post.

Despite their obvious Calvinism, I'm a big fan of Caedmon's. There are days when I pull out 40 Acres or Long Line of Leavers or I long to find the old self-titled that I've lost somewhere, and I remember how much I love their songs. There are so many of them that I instantly hear and decide "this one is my favorite" and then I find another and decide that IT is my favorite. I won't choose a favorite, b/c they're all favorites. ("...cherry and grape are both favorites...they're both good...")

So this morning as I struggle to find words to write about anything else in my life, I'll tell you what my favorite Caedmon's songs are. (in order, of course, of their cd's)

There's a Stirring
This World
Bus Driver
Coming Home
Shifting Sand
Faith My Eyes
Table for Two
Petrified Heart
Somewhere North
Love is Different
Valleys Fill First
Piece of Glass
Carry Your Love
Hands of the Potter

Not that any of you really care, but I just thought I'd share these. It is almost for my own sake, to actually see how many of these songs I love. Man, I miss the old stuff. Nothing will top the 1997 self-titled CD or 40 Acres. Those are the best.

today: a glimpse of my long week

Here's a little tale about my morning:

As of last night I have no voice. I was sort of sick Monday & Tuesday, then it started to go away until it got worse on Friday with an accumulating cough. Then my voice began to gradually fade while I was in Springfield shopping, and this morning I woke up and it was completely gone. It couldn't have been a worse morning for that to happen. Let me tell you the story...

First of all, today we had an Early Registration Day for new students to sign up for classes. Of course it's a part of my job to be there, so the plan was to be there at 8:30. Went to bed last night, set the ol' dual alarm clock for 7:00 and 7:30. Woke up this morning from a very vivid dream because I heard someone playing the piano downstairs at Einstein's, looked over and saw my alarm clock flashing. I freaked out for a second, sat up very quickly, remembered where I needed to be, ran to the living room to check that clock to see the real time, all the while hoping it would say earlier than 8:30, but to my dismay it read 8:43. I checked to see if anyone had called my cell yet wondering where I was, began to call the office and let them know what happened, and then realized I couldn't call b/c I had no voice and no one would hear me on the other line. So, I ran through the house throwing my hair into a ponytail w/ some added hairspray for fun, threw on clothes that didn't need ironing, applied enough makeup to make me look presentable, slipped on brown sandals (which I later regretted when I found out that it was winter outside), forgot to grab my parka that I thought I had left in January, jumped in my car and sped off to campus. I arrived at 8:54. (Yes, record time I think!)

And when I arrived, I could barely do my job of mingling with students & parents without a consistent voice. Sometimes I open my mouth and words come out, sounding like a growl, and sometimes it looks like I'm whispering. So, I just smiled and waved to people I wanted to talk to and felt extremely rude and held back by not being able to hold a conversation. I'm pretty sure my co-workers probably thought for the first 25 minutes when I wasn't there that I just decided not to come, because I was in a bad mood at work on Thursday and Friday. They probably thought I just wasn't going to show up and that I quit. or maybe not.

It was quite the morning that I wasn't expecting to have to end this looong week. Nevertheless, it was my Saturday morning.

What I've realized today is this: it is quite lonely to not have a voice. I can't talk to anyone. I can't contribute to any conversation. I can't say what I'm thinking. I can try to explain myself, but it's hard to get the words out. I can't silence my thoughts by singing along with music. I can't even try to sing, because no words come out. I feel worthless and useless. At least I can write, which is why I'm blogging right now!

Losing my voice is certainly not my favorite thing. I will, however, enjoy when it returns just enough that I can call it my sexy, wispy voice. I have always loved getting that. Just call me Phoebe.

I'll leave you with some final, more positive thoughts. These are a few of my favorite things:

~an Orange CreamSlush from Sonic (mmm....yummy)
~my velour J-Lo outfit in this exact color that I'm wearing at this exact moment. So comfy.
~the feeling of comfort after putting on Blistex Lip Medex when your lips are parched
~a good laugh
~a perfect cup of vanilla tea made w/ just the right amt. of milk & sugar
~being able to write all I want since I can't talk
~being able to write all I want even when I can talk
~Ty Pennington's compassionate heart
~my sweet hip-hop mix CD
~being able to listen to Missy Higgins for free from her website -- www.missyhiggins.com (sorry i write about her all the time...just happens to be when i'm listening to her!)
~when my niece cuddles up to me or hearing her sing "keeenup, keenup, everybody body keenup..." over and over again
~a semi-sweet Ghirardelli's Chocolate baking bar that I can savor piece by piece and excuse it b/c this is my week to eat lots of chocolate...if you know what I mean. I will eat it as much as I want. Any other week I hardly even like chocolate.
~sleeping on my living room floor when my bed is empty 10 feet away. for some reason, i love sleeping w/ my fluffy old comforter on the floor
~knowing that i'm not so desperate that i'd have to give into the ridiculous piece of mail that i received this week announcing that I could find "The Right One" by simply filling out their mail-in personal profile. Thank God I will never be one of those people...no offense to any of you who may do that, but that's not me!
~beautiful afternoons like this past tuesday that i spent just walking around the Riverwalk in Naperville just taking pictures, laying in the grass w/ my flip flops off, and being able to just relax.

That's all for now. hopefully i'll get to bed early tonight and wake up w/ a sexy, wispy voice. :-) sweet dreams everyone!

oh, just a few things of note.

I looked in the mirror this morning (well, this afternoon...i slept till 12:30) and realized that I'm pretty sure my nose is crooked. That's cool.

Had SUCH a great time hanging out w/ Kunjali and Sadie last night in Champaign. It was so good to see friends from high school and catch up!

I LOVE my new CD's from Kunjali: The Postal Service, Zero 7, Frou Frou, Jem, and Jeff Buckley. Thanks girl--you're the bestest!

Am grateful for life lessons learned from Rick Hornbrook's funeral. Chris did an amazing job of preaching at his own dad's funeral, and it challenges me to remember what this life IS all about.

I have no agenda for today, but it's beautiful outside and I just want to play in it!

I need to balance my checkbook.

Someday soon I hope to be able to write something of meaning and purpose in this blog...I just haven't had time this week to sit down and write a lot in here and I probably won't in the next week or so. I hope to soon, though, so do not fret my friends!

Today I....

-Again, can't get enough of Missy Higgins. Ten Days is the song in my head, and this line is on replay in my mind: "...you're still the only one that feels like home..."

- think I'm ready for a good rain.

-am looking forward to my trips to San Antonio, Colorado, and Georgia over the next 3 months.

-think singing is one of the things that makes me the happiest.

-like my springy skirt even though it is cooling off outside.

-dislike 2 things about my job and it makes me want to go somewhere new...but then I realize that I also really like my job a lot of the time.

-just overheard my boss talking about a conference in Orlando? i doubt i'll be getting to go, however...

-am going to eat all the Monical's pizza I can eat for dinner. Thanks for calling me and inviting me Aubs!

-realized I have decisions to make about living arrangements and roommates and I need to figure that out soon b/c I won't be able to afford living in my apt. this summer alone...

-want to go run around outside and play if it rains and it's warm enough...

-wish I was better at a lot of stuff...

-am fine w/ my apartment looking like a disaster. And, I'm happy with sleeping on my living room floor for no apparent reason. Yes, my bed was open and empty, but I have always liked sleeping on the floor, and it was nice last night.

-have a heavy heart for a lot of people...
-am trying to make that my focus instead of my own world.

-am one day ahead of yesterday, but I'm on the brink of tomorrow.

How are you?

So lately I'm frustrated with the wishy-washy question of "How are you?" Most often we ask and answer this as a greeting, very nonchalantly, and I'm guilty as charged. I probably ask without truly caring, and I know that I answer without truly meaning what I say as well.

So I'm trying to think about it more. I'm sure we've all heard stories about those who are VERY guilty of pulling the "How are ya?" thing w/o ever listening for an answer. Many of us could probably attest to this person whom I will refer to as Person A. Here is a true story.

(action)
Enter Person A, walking through the hallway.
Enter a Person B, walking the other direction.
Person A: Hey! How are ya?
Person B: (knowing that person A does not really care, he answers) I'm gay, how are you?
Person A: Good! Great! Great! Awesome!

(and, scene.)

Because I'm aware of this story it makes me more conscious at times when I ask and when I am asked, "How are you?" I have a hard time answering, because most people expect a one-word answer. "Good." "Alright." "OK." "Eh." or something like that. Of course you have those who say with proper grammer "Well."

I have no solution to this, because I will probably continue to answer with one word most times, but I will make an effort to answer with the appropriate word instead of just "good" all the time.

Here's another lesson learned in this (Kunjali you'll appreciate this!): if you're ever in German or speaking w/ a German and you're asked "Wie geht's?" (short for "Wie geht es?" which means How's it going? or How goes it?"), do not answer "Ich bin gut," which in translation might sound like "I am good." This tends to give the impression that you're good sexually, so it's an inuendo of sorts. Instead, your answer should be "Es geht mir gut," which means "It is going good/well for me."

And that, my friends, was your Deutsch lesson fur heute (today).

Maybe I'll just start throwing people off by answering in German....
probably not.

Aufwiedersehen.

it's a new day

I cannot get over how beautiful the mornings are in this weather. And the nights. The middle of the day isn't even my favorite part; it's mostly the mornings and the evenings. It's just so much calmer and more peaceful at 6:45 a.m. when the sun is rising and at 9:00 p.m. when the world is settling down again.

Do you ever have a day or two that just seems like forever, and then something happens and you feel new again?
You regain some kind of sense of self.
You recapture your vision.
You maybe even discover a new vision.
Your worries fall to the wayside and turn into prayers.
Your selfishness disappears and you recognize the needs around you like you've never seen them before.
You feel the sun and the moon smiling on you, and you're romanced the sweet smells of spring that float through the breeze.
You find purpose in something greater than what you thought it might be.
You see people for who they are and realize that everyone is just human.
You talk to a friend and realize that it feeds something inside of you that you didn't even know you needed.
You find a good book, a quote, a thought, or a song that speaks to your heart in ways that nothing or no one else can do.

I do. That was my yesterday.

And this morning I feel refreshed.

I wish...

-I wish my eyes were cameras.
-I wish I could be outside all day today instead of in an office until 6:00 or later.
-I wish I wasn't feeling jealous and I wish the jealousy didn't make me act differently.
-I wish Jamie Cullum and Missy Higgins could sing to me all day long with new music all the time.
-I wish I could sleep a little later in the morning.
-I wish the names and papers on my desk were more organized.
-I wish I didn't wear my heart on my sleeve.
-Sometimes I wish I would wear my heart on my sleeve more.
-I wish I knew what to do with my life.
-I wish I knew what to do with love.
-I wish I began with prayer more often instead of turning to it as a last resort.
-I wish I could eat Olive Garden alfredo sauce and breadsticks every day.
-I wish that if I did that I wouldn't get sick of it.
-I wish we had a Baskin Robbins or Streator's ol' Time-Out Ice Cream in Lincoln. (for my faves, Daiquiri Ice, and Bubble Gum--respectively)
-I wish I knew more.
-I wish I would be wiser with what I know.
-I wish I read more.
-I wish my stomach and my nerves were not connected.
-I wish I didn't worry so much.
-I wish I wasn't so sensitive.
-I wish I had that cute polka-dotted satin shirt from Target that I tried on yesterday.
-I wish I had more patience.
-I wish I didn't get upset about not being personally invited to places.
-I wish I knew where I should move, when I should move, what I should do if/when I move.
-I wish I had my roommate situation figured out for the summer and next fall.
-I wish I had more time to spend w/ every single one of my friends.
-I wish my friends all had time to spend w/ me too!
-I wish I had money to travel more.
-I wish my lips weren't so dry and that I didn't have to put Lip Medex on them every 5 minutes.
-I wish I could be outside in this gorgeous 75 degree weather instead of in my office (oops, I just realized I already said that.)
-I wish I didn't have to stop making this list to make some phone calls. But, that's what I should do.

What are your wishes?
(I know someone is thinking this: "I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl who looked good--I would call her. I wish I had a rabbit in a hat...")

i have no clever title for this post...

GO ILLINI!!!

In spirit of them, I'm sporting an orange shirt today as well as this orange font.

I think I would win an award for color coordination if ever there was one.

No plans for tonight, but it's kind of nice considering I haven't felt like I even live at my apartment lately. But if something comes up, I'm game.

House-sitting/dog-sitting for Cory & David tmw night, so ILLINI party @ their house. Not really. Just people over to watch the game...I'm not up for entertaining and party-planning. Just hanging out.

This was a good week. How was yours?

solar energy

I'll be the first to admit to you, along w/ many people, that the weather greatly affects my mood. I love the seasons and how they change. I do enjoy a bit of the cool, crisp fall and I love me a white Christmas. But on Dec. 26th? I'm finished with it. So the next few months are long, grey, and rather unexciting.

The past few days have been absolutely beautiful, though a bit windy for my liking. Still, I coveted them for so long and they're finally here. Days that are warm enough to wear basically whatever you want (yet I like to laugh at the people who eagerly break out their shorts and tanks so soon even though it's only 70 degrees--the flip flops, capris, and skirts are enough for me). Days where the sun shines, even if only for a few moments or a few hours, but it leaves a warmth and a joy behind that lasts longer than its light.

I love how I wake up in the morning and hear on WBNQ that the temperature is going to be 75 and it motivates me to get out of my bed. Work is so much more fun on a campus that is alive with people who are free to roam around outside and not be held back by a freezing, piercing wind and smoky gray skies for months. I love waking up and knowing that the sunshine isn't going to tease me into thinking it's warm out when it's really not. Now the sun will tell the truth. I love that I can spend my lunch hour and my evenings at the park reading or journaling or taking pictures or driving around w/ my music up and the windows down.

I love that I am much more enthusiastic and happy, even though I know it's temporal and based upon environmental circumstances, when it's warm. Everything is bright and cheery and yellow and pink and aqua blue. And right now, it's just the beginning, so I know there's so much more to come.

I'm happy because of the weather.

And that is why I also have considered moving somewhere where it's warmer year-round. That is why I searched monster.com and careerbuilder.com today for random jobs in Dallas, San Antonio, Los Angeles, and Nashville today. I don't know where I'll be someday, but I sure hope it's somewhere warm.

At least I know right now, in this very moment, it's sunny outside and even the rain and the thunderstorm that's on its way won't change my mood. The sun has left its mark.

my new love

ahh...

check out the new addition to my list of men i'd like to marry.

He's adorable. You can watch him Sunday nights @ 7 or Mondays @ 7. I prefer both.

I love me a good British accent.

my wishlist

Here's what I want in music these days (to some of you, yes, I'm a little behind on some of this music...but I have no $ to buy CD's, unless I splurge, which happens once in awhile...and will be again soon on one or more of the following. Also, some of them I have hardly even heard, so that's why I haven't bought them, but I want to!):

Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning
Frou Frou - Details
Aqualung - Strange and Beautiful
Damien Rice
Postal Service
Missy Higgins - The Sound of White
The Killers
Jem - Finally Woken
The Postal Service
anything heard last night on Grey's Anatomy

speaking of that, that's one of my new faves. Check it out Sunday nights at 9pm central.

Songs That Make Me Want to Throw Up: Vol. 2

The time is here again, folks. (Please see Wed. Jan. 5th's entry for Volume 1.) Feel free to comment on your own songs that you'd add to this list, but here's what I'm doing. Using WBNQ's Weekly Top 30 songs as a resource, I'm going down their list and freely commenting on the songs that might make me throw up if I hear them again on the radio. I will refrain on those songs that aren't quite gag-worthy yet. I'm sure they'll be added later.

Let's begin (note: my #'s reflect which number these songs rate on WBNQ's list):

#1. Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams... ~ Haven't we been down that road one too many times? I think I sure have. Even worse? The "remix" w/ Oasis's Wonderwall, that really is nothing special and I could have dubbed on my 1980s tape recorded by simply switching back and forth between the two songs. I'm sorry, but in my book, that's not really a remix.

#2. Jesse McCartney - Beautiful Soul... ~ Although this poppy tune is cute and was OK w/ me for awhile, it's starting to get old. It has played long enough for me to at least FINALLY get the words right. For the longest time, I kept singing "I don't want your silly wand to hold" instead of "I don't want just anyone to hold." RIdiculous, I know. You can laugh with me, not at me.

#5. Gavin Degraw - I Don't Wanna Be... ~ What don't you wanna be? An overplayed song? Is that it? I'm pretty sure I heard this song like a YEAR ago on Indianapolis stations. Why is it that we're STILL playing it? Let's move on to another Gavin soon-to-be-overplayed-hit.

#7. Kelly Clarkson - Breakaway... ~ You can't tell me this song is still playing. If you read my Volume 1 version of this list, you'll notice it was already on my list there. Enough said.

#8. Destiny's Child - Soldier... ~ No song makes me shiver with annoyance and turn off my radio like this one. The verses of this song have this annoying rhyme sound at the end of every line. I HATE the verse that ends each line with "leanin'........blah blah blah blah gleamin'....blah blah blah blah clean and......blah blah blah blah beatin'.....blah blah blah blah chiefin'....blah blah blah blah screamin'.... Ughh.....i think i might have nightmares of her singing that...

#10. Jay-Z & Linkin Park - Numb/Encore... ~ This song reached its title goal - I'm numb to it, and I do NOT want an Encore.

#11. Ersher, Jon & Luda - Lovers & Friends... ~ It's just gone on too long...

#13. Eminem - Mockingbird... ~ I never hope to hear an actual mockingbird sing this song. Could he have tried any harder to force rhymes in this "rap" song? I'm sorry, I'm not a fan of anything of yours Eminem.

#14. Tim McGraw - Live Like You Were Dyin'... ~ Why the depressing song? And all of a sudden it's a hit on pop stations. Didn't we already go there like a year ago with country stations? Or am I having flashbacks?

#22. Nelly & Tim McGraw - Over & Over... ~ Need we say more than the title of the song? That's all they say...over & over & over & over& over again......

#24. Eminem - Encore... ~ Again. I don't want an encore of this. Ever.

#26. Simple Plan - Welcome to My Life... ~ I'm just tired of this one.

#27. Nelly - N Dey Say... ~ It just makes me laugh that he titled this song "N Dey Say." I guess it doesn't make TobyMac look so bad for naming a song "Ill-M-I" now does it?

And that's as far as we'll go for now.

That was fun.

Stay tuned for future volumes. As fast as they keep pumping out new volumes of NOW CD's of today's hits (which really means "yesterday's"), I will be producing more volumes of this.

please add your own to this list if you'd like.

spring fever and random stuff

I've caught it. Evansville was nice and warm this weekend and it tricked me. I broke out my flips and even a skirt, and now i'm back to a sweater. What a tease.

Reminiscing: Lindsey & Matt Clark's wedding. So beautiful. Good times with the girls and good ol' friends that I miss a lot.

Ticked off: that I can't download Hello and put pics on here so you can see how beautiful she was.

Still laughing about: how Linds had to go to the bathroom 20 min. before the wedding, how we blocked the doors, and how we all were like prison guards keeping people and photographers from coming downstairs against Lindsey's will all day.

Thinking about: putting together a soundtrack from the weekend (preview: it will include lots of Rascal Flatts, some Motownphilly, Steve Tyrell, and others...)

Looking forward to: eating some Monical's pizza tonight...and even better news: 20% of it will go to Fuel. Yum.

Considering for a future blog: an updated version of my "Songs that Make Me Want to Throw Up" list. The radio stations are running low and the time has come once again.

Not feelin' it: I don't feel like a people person today. So I don't really want to be. Maybe I will when I leave this fluorescent lighting and have comfy clothes on.

Also ticked off because: I didn't get as much $ as expected from my tax returns. NOW how will I be able to plan my vacation to Cali?

Wondering: where i'll be in 5 years. heck, even where i'll be in 5 months!

Can't stop eating: those little black and red raspberry candies that kate got me from abe's. good breakfast? probably not. oh well, it was sufficient today. and i think i'll have another...

So thankful: it's Week of E so work is only 8-4 this week for us. yay! an extra 30 min. of AM sleep, another 30 min. of afternoon sunlight and freedom.

Forgot about: the plum on my desk that I brought to eat for breakfast. Oops. the candy worked instead.

March Madness

And madness it is, my friends. Complete madness that I, having not a single clue about basketball other than I want ILLINOIS to win, am doing great so far in my brackets. I filled them out the other night based on nothing but the numbers in front of me, and some choosing by color (thanks to Nate), but that's about all. All I have to say is this: so far I'm 4-4, and I'm on the way to being 8-8 if the 4 games going on right now continue the way they are. We'll have to see.


Oh yeah, and Happy St. Patty's Day.

Tomorrow I'm headed down to Evansville for the Clark/Jones wedding. Yay! Can't wait to see Linds and hang out before her big day Saturday. It will be a good time, and I must say that I'm quite happy with the tan I've attained after only 2 weeks.

Cheers to all of you, as I tip back my red water bottle as opposed to a green brew.

oh no you didn't

launchcast: oh no you did not just play wilson phillips for me. don't ever do that again. especially b/c it was their recent try-to-make-a-comeback. the only song you have permission to play is "Impulsive" or another oldie blast from the past.

I'm a Celebrity...

In other news...

I've finally made it! (totally kidding) I'm on the cover of the spring '05 Restorer. (if I ever measure my success by that, please humble me by smacking me in the face.) At least it shows how outnumbered I am in this Admissions department. I hate how ridiculous I look, but I guess it's cool that we're standing on a giant Monopoly board.

Just so ya'll know, we didn't even take that picture altogether...I had to stand by myself for it. I felt kinda stupid, but at least the crew is with me on the front. At least Sarver didn't make me pretend to hold the Monopoly dog piece like he was going to...

Baby Got Book

You absolutely HAVE to go to this website and watch the video for "Baby Got Book" if you have not already seen it. SOOOOOOO funny.

EMHE: How'd They Do That?

So my sister has already once written about Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, the best show ever, but I'm proceeding to write about it again.

These people know what they're doing. Aside from actually having a relationship with Christ, it seems they have Christianity down. They've got it down what it means to love people. They show how beautifully the Church could work together. They provide for the needs of people, and they go beyond those needs and fulfill their dreams and desires without reservation. I think it's astonishing.

Here's a quick synopsis of last night: The Okvath family--Mom, Dad, Kassandra (their 8 yr. old who has survived cancer twice), another daughter, and 4 little boys. They didn't even want their own home fixed up, other than some paint touchups. Kassandra selflessly wanted to repaint the walls in the children's wing of the hospital so their lives could be filled with joy. They brought in a Disney volunteer team and, by her leadership and design, painted Disney themes and an overall "It's a Small World" theme with each room displaying a different country or story. This alone made me cry.

Meanwhile, the EMHE team COMPLETELY destroyed the Okvath's house only to rebuild them a gorgeous 6000 sq. ft. home (i think). This home included an actual movie theater room and a kid-friendly backyard equipped with a carousel, several play houses, a healing garden, and a ton more. The team added these so the family could, as much as possible, keep Kassandra out of public places such as movie theaters or amusement parks where sickness among kids is almost unavoidable.

And this is even more amazing to me: the day after the walls were repainted in the children's hospital, all the white blood cell counts of the children went up!!!

I think this show is one of the greatest things ever done. It's not just another Habitat for Humanity, building an impersonal low-budget home. They just do incredible things. I can't get over it.

I'm learning to love people by what I see on this show. Sometimes I learn more about love from this show than I do from the Church. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I don't know, but it always makes me pray for God to cultivate that kind of love in my heart for people. It's not necessarily about the giving of material possessions as it is just having genuine love and compassion for His people...which means EVERYBODY.

Changes

Here's a blast from the past: the Cranberries' "Zombie" just came onto my Launchcast radio station. nice. if I wasn't in the office, I'd certainly be singing along.

So here's where my mind is right now:

Life is changing really fast. All the time. It makes me smile. Sometimes it makes me want to cry. Sometimes it makes me laugh. Sometimes it is frustrating and confusing. It makes me wonder. It makes me look forward. It makes me see with wider eyes... telescope eyes...sometimes kaleidoscope eyes when it's whirlwind-ish. But I love it. I love to see things work themselves out. Or rather, God working things out, often without us even noticing or thinking or thanking.

I have a love/hate relationship with change. And I love how I fabricate and develop my thoughts as I write them out on here. They may not be what I think or feel in an hour, but they are what I think and feel in this very moment. Is this the beauty of blogging? I think so.

on a lighter note, here are songs I'd love to hear (off the top of my head) on my Launchcast radio right now:
-"Sway" by Michael Buble
-"Get Right" by J. Lo.
-"Hey Mama" by the Blackeyed Peas (i'll settle for "Shut Up" which is playing right now)

my night

-a nice 10 min. nap in the tanning bed

-fixing dinner for Chels & Courtney

-hanging out w/ an old friend and looking forward to rebuilding that friendship that I've missed and longed for during the past 8 months...

-probably watching my taped episode of Newlyweds from last night...yes, a guilty pleasure

-now defending myself to those of you who say that Jessica Simpson is an idiot...i'm pretty sure I'd be the same way if my life was videotaped and you caught only my dumbest moments. they happen a lot.

-going to try to drink more water...just for fun. and of course, good health.

that's a Thursday night for me.

no strings attached

Nope, we're not talking about the NSync CD...

Just how I kinda feel sometimes about my life. Obviously there are strings like to my family and some temporary "strings" to my job, ministry, etc. But really, I could do anything and go anywhere I pretty much want! And to some people that's a good thing but for me it's overwhelming. I'm just not sure what to do with it.

I've written about this before, but I just am so unsure about my future. I know that's normal, but it has been enhanced in my mind since talking to my friend Faith yesterday. Just the thought of moving somewhere new, starting in a completely different, fresh place sounds so good to me...but where is that place? I don't even know. Maybe NYC, maybe California, maybe Chicago, maybe that place is even right here in Lincoln? Weird as it is to say, maybe my being stretched is taking place right here in Lincoln. Surrounded by the familiar. Familiar places. Familiar people. Familiar jobs. I guess I'm just figuring out if I should be here or if I need to go somewhere else. It's never a matter of what I want necessarily or where I want to be, but it's a matter of where I am led or called to. Maybe I just need some discernment in that.

So, if you have a direct line with the Guy upstairs, and he lets you in on anything I should know, I'd like to hear it. If not, just let Him know I wouldn't mind a little nudging in any direction!

Enough of the heavy stuff...

-I can't stop listening to my Steve Tyrell CD.
-I also can't stop listening to Marc Broussard. Go to Best Buy. Your $9.99 spent will make you happy.
-I am so tired and can't wait for my 10 min. nap in the tanning bed later today.
-I'm jealous that Doug is leaving tmw for Florida, I won't lie.
-That's all I got. i'm fresh out of things to say.

So I Says...

So Cory and I were in Target this weekend and found the BEST magnets ever. We both wanted to blog about it, because we can't stop laughing about them. They're these old-fashioned black and white things that have cute phrases that women say like "My house is cuter than yours" or "Ohmigod, no way. She did? No way! I don't believe it!" It's very '50s-ish and probably fits the Desperate Housewives outbreak this year.

Anyways, I bought them for my mom for her b-day because of one specific magnet that says this:

"So I says to Mabel, I says..."

You may need to say it out loud to yourself for it to be as funny as it is to us. Our Dad says "I says" all the time, and we think it's hilarious. you have to love good ol' Streator folk.

I can't even think about it without laughing now!

What do people from your town say?

yuck

so i might use a couple of sick hours today...i'm thinking since most of our campus visit day stuff is done, i'm going to go home if i can. my tummy hurts and i'm spaced out from my favorite equate cold/allergy/sinus (i don't know which one or two it is) medicine from wal-mart. it makes me feel good, but weird. but i'm not happy w/ my stomach hurting right now.

but the good news is, i don't have shingles. my arm stopped tingling finally. Still, my family could attest to my paranoia in checking my arm for red bumps or blisters every 5 seconds all weekend.

And my arthritic knees have stopped hurting.

On a different note, I had a really great weekend staying at Cory & David's. Cory and I had quite the time being silly and dancing around saturday night for a couple hours (even tired and sick-feeling as we already were), and then we laughed till we almost cried at maddy whispering and mouthing words. she's the funniest child ever.

my fav. quote from the weekend...

Cory: How did I make this child?
Me: I don't know, but i want the recipe!

hypochondriac much?

My right arm is tingly. don't know why. Hoping it's not shingles again. Having the shingles sucks.

I also think I'm getting arthritis in both my knees and my right hand/wrist. Or maybe carpal tunnel syndrome.

did I mention that my back hurts?

Or that I'm only 22 and I'm an old lady?

Twixters?

As I sat in the waiting area at Jim Xamis Ford yesterday while my car was getting a check-up I found the issue of Time Magazine from Jan. 25, 2005. The cover story was titled "Grow Up? Not So Fast..." I had heard about this article that has entitled our 18-29 year old age range the "twixters." I proceeded to read it and found myself feeling better about my uncertainties and indecision in life, because it has somehow become the norm for us twixters.

If you can find this article and you're between these ages, read it. Find a library or some intellectual who subscribes to Time and read it.

I'd love to chat about it, so if you've read it, let's talk.


P.S. As you all know, I love to color coordinate my fonts with something of the day (i.e. a new purse, an article of clothing, my mood, etc.). Just thought I'd inform you that I'm wearing my highlighter yellow shirt. Get out your sunglasses.

London, anyone?

Travelzoo's Top 20 this week:

Roundtrip flight: Chicago to London = $179 (must order by tomorrow at midnight, depart on Monday, and return after 3/13)

After completing this search more, it would end up being about $289.59 per person.

Here's the itinerary:

Chicago (ORD) to London (LHR)
Monday, Mar 7
United Airlines 928Boeing 777
Mar 07 6:05 pm depart ORD Mar 08 7:55 am arrive LHR
Stops: Non-stop
Class: Coach

London (LHR) to Chicago (ORD)
Monday, Mar 14
United Airlines 929Boeing 777
Mar 14 10:25 am depart LHR Mar 14 1:10 pm arrive ORD
Stops: Non-stop
Class: Coach

Total Airfare Per Person (including taxes):
USD 289.59
Total Airfare (including taxes):
USD 579.18
Who's with me? Anyone?

best friends

i can't wait to have a best friend.

don't take this the wrong way, i definitely have lots of friends who i consider to be "my best friends," but no one particular "best friend." See the difference? maybe not.

it's funny how those best friends change throughout the years. i can usually remember them by grade:
Preschool: Lindsy Corcoran
Kindergarten: Stephanie McGee
First grade: Meagan Nink
Second & Third grade: Shayh Moore maybe? don't remember
Fourth & Fifth grade: Audrey Yusko?
Sixth grade: Erica Cole, Jessica Salaz, Kunjali Padhya
Seventh grade: Erica, Jessica, Amanda Cole, Kunjali Padhya
Eighth grade: same as before
9-12th grade: Kristy Kerestes & Jenny Quinn, still Amanda Cole

In college it changed again and each year altered it a little more. I could probably list off at least like 12 people I'd consider to be my best friends at this moment, but I always wished I had one of those best friends throughout my entire life. I look forward to having one for the rest of my life (whoever i marry) and continuing the close friendships I'm blessed with at the moment.

thanks, God, for friends. i love them. and i can't wait to see what new ones you bring into my path someday.

the end. i didn't mean for this to be cheesy, but it kinda turned out that way.

oh, and p.s. I got a new purse yesterday in this exact color! i'm starting to have a colorful purse collection almost as large as my colored pants collection...we might have a battle someday: purses vs. pants.

dorky fun survey from myspace

Describe yourself using one band and only song TITLES by that band: I choose Matt Wertz.

Are you male or female: Marianne

Describe yourself: Hiding Behind a Smile

How do some people feel about you: In on a Whim

How do you feel about yourself: Everything's Right, Wandering Eyes

Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: Can I say what it wasn't? If so, I choose Honest Man. If you can even count him as a boyfriend. I'm pretty sure I don't really count the 11 days from 4 years ago.

Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: Counting to 100

Describe where you want to be: Green Pastures

Describe what you want to be: That For You

Describe how you live: This Moment

Describe how you love: Sweetness in Starlight, Faith and Compromise

Share a few words of wisdom: I Will Let You Down

-I definitely spent WAYYY too much time on this...and it's sad that I had to look at all of Wertz's song titles to be make sure I chose just the right one!

-Do this, it's fun!

The Bachelorette: Season Finale

Out of curiosity, how many people fell out of their seats last night at the end of The Bachelorette? Anyone?

Not me. Honestly, I kind of expected something similar to happen. I knew Jen would pick Jerry (as she did), but then I knew it wouldn't work out (as it didn't). I sort of thought she'd still want to date him rather than saying "let's just be friends." But whatever.

I will say that I like Jerry a whole lot more than I used to. There was a possibility w/ progression for their relationship. He had a problem with communicating, so it was something she could help him work through. With John Paul, there was nothing to progress really, unless he could talk her into truly liking him. She just wasn't feeling it, I'm pretty sure. He was too smothery and all up in her face. Even when they kissed her face was covered with his hand plastered all over it.

I can't believe the ridiculous "After the Rose" show, however. Could you make things any harder for these people and could you make this "reality" show anymore unrealistic?

And a memo to the lady in the audience who asked if they broke up because they weren't "sexually compatible": What were you thinking? Is it really your business? Is it really the public's business? And honestly, I think you are stupid for asking that question on national television. Besides, "sexual compatibility" is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of for a relationship not working. I'm pretty sure we're all compatible (guy w/ girl, girl w/ guy) if I have it figured out right...

The most enjoyable part of the evening was watching it w/ 3 guys and hearing their comments, which were quite hilarious!

A little Q & A about the season:
Q: Was it worth it to watch this entire season all for that ending?
A: Other than the fact that it was actually somewhat classy and not skanky as the upcoming Bachelor appears to be, my answer would be NO. For that ending, it was not worth it.