addiction confession

Warning: this post has no life-alteringly-meaningful content whatsoever.
I have a confession to make...

I'm slightly addicted to watching One Tree Hill.

I got hooked at the end of last season (season 5?) and have been watching since then, but because I never watched the first 5 seasons I'm just now catching up. I just finished the last disc of Season 2 tonight. I even found myself crying when Peyton had to say goodbye to Jake when he left to go get Jenny. Why is life so hard? And why can't Nathan and Haley just work things out? (Obviously I know they do later on in their TV character life...) And Dan Scott just never seems to stop. And why can't Lucas Scott exist in my life for real and be in love with me?

On a different note, here's another thing I'm addicted to:

Pizzelles.

Have you ever had these things? They're like thin, crispy, waffle-y cookies. Before I ever knew what they were called, I think I just called them doilies. I'm not even sure where I had them for the first time, but I do know this: I found them last year at Aldi and was ecstatic. Then once on accident I bought the Anise flavored ones, which were disgusting. So yesterday when I saw them again at Aldi (they must be seasonal? I have no idea why...) I was again ecstatic. And I made sure to buy the vanilla flavored ones rather than Anise.

And for some reason, at 1:09 AM I felt the need to share these two very important things with the world.

I love blogs. :)

music notes

Have any of you ever paid $15 to get into a venue with your friends where you spent the entire evening taking pictures of yourselves in varying combinations of people whilst some singer, to whom you're paying no attention, is playing and singing his/her heart out on stage?

yeah, me neither.

But every time I go to a Matt Wertz concert, I seem to be a magnet for all of the college students who came for a few drinks and social hour. I suppose I should clarify...every time I see Matt Wertz @ The Canopy Club in Urbana, this is what happens. And once at Augustana College as well. They all end up right in front of my friends and me, all chatty-cathies and picture-taking and flirting and what-not.

But the most frustrating part is that when Matt actually tried to share his heart about The Mocha Club and how $1 can give clean water to 1 African for an entire year, they weren't even paying attention. Grrr...

All of my concert commentary aside, I've been to more Matt Wertz shows than probably necessary, but I still enjoy a night of good music and friends, and feeling like I'm in a living room with just us and Matt.

On a different note, I just love discovering new music. I love anything new, but music is always my favorite thing to discover. And most of what I find is certainly not new per se, but it's usually new to me. And if you're a musician and I like your music, you can typically count on me to be a loyal fan.

Lately, here's what I've found that I really like:

• Lucy Schwartz--had some songs on the soundtrack for The Women. Really fun style...check her out: www.myspace.com/lucysong.
• Parker House and Theory--opened for Wertz tonight. I'll be honest. I didn't like it at first. I had no idea who these guys were and what language they were singing in the first couple songs b/c i couldn't understand the words, but after a couple songs I really liked it. Or maybe it was just the attractive drummer who actually did sing in Spanish and play the drums well. The songs on their myspace page don't do them justice. I thought recorded may be better than live, but I think the live performance is worth seeing. Based out of Boston, they've got a trendy rock, latino, funky vibe... Check them out: www.myspace.com/parkerhouseandtheory.
• Michelle Featherstone--heard one of her songs in the background of a wedding slideshow at a recent wedding and googled the lyrics to find out who she was. Really good stuff. www.myspace.com/michellefeatherstone
• Marc Broussard--not new to me. In fact, I've been listening to him for a few years now, but he has some great new stuff out. Love his scratchy, rough, raw, New Orleans voice...If you haven't been listening to him by now, you're missing out. www.myspace.com/marcbroussard.
• Again, certainly not new, but I really really love the Jonas Brothers song, "Lovebug." I'm a dork.
• I still love "Shut Up and Let Me Go" by the Ting Tings from the iTunes commercial. Makes me just want to dance around the room pretending I'm one of the dancing silhouettes on the iPod commercials.
• Lady Antebellum--loving their harmonies and fun style. I've really only heard 2 of their songs, the upbeat songs, and didn't spend much time listening to anything else on their page, but I'm a sucker for good harmony and non-depressing Country music that makes you want to sing your heart out and tap on the steering wheel.

I know there is more I've been listening to lately, but I love love love music recommendations, so tell me what's in your ears these days!

Cold Tangerines

As I'm digging through cutouts of magazines, photographs, and little snippets of things trying to find what truly inspires me and qualifies for inclusion on my fun little project--my inspiration board (see post below). It's appropriate, for multiple reasons, that I mention the book Cold Tangerines as one of the deserving things that have inspired me. Or maybe the author, Shauna Niequist, herself should be the one who has inspired me rather than just the book.

Shauna grew up the daughter of Bill Hybels, one of the founding pastors at Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, IL. Her life growing up was probably nothing ordinary at most times, living in the spotlight of being the daughter of a megachurch pastor and feeling a little expected to live up to some kind of standard as most preacher's kids do. She writes in her book about flying to Paris, France when she was in eighth grade--by herself--as if this is part of any normal childhood. She was used to traveling with her dad around the world, and so opportunities of the like were nothing out of the ordinary.

Despite her not-so-ordinary upbringing, Shauna is, deep down inside, still an ordinary person, just with extraordinary God-given talent to capture words like fireflies on a summer night, putting them in little jars to share their light. Cold Tangerines is a collection of essays written from her personal life experiences--from stories about college to stories about marriage, having a baby, working at a church, quitting working at a church, past struggles with weight, tragic loss, the joy of a bright red fall tree, jealousy, forgiveness, true community, and what it means to find joy and contentment in the little things in life. The stories in her book come to life and seem to be relevant with everyone who comes in contact with them, even though they are her very own experiences.

We've all been in these places in life...not the exact same stories, but the deep-down-underlying emotions and flaws that lie within us that Shauna so honestly lays out for us. She openly says that writing, for her, is like getting naked in front of people. And she truly bears her soul and all its parts in this book, and that's what is inspiring.

If you haven't read this book, you need to! This week is the one-year anniversary of its release, which is an exciting thing to celebrate for a writer! When you write and put things out there for others to read and critique, you are putting yourself up for criticism. But just as you open yourself up to criticism, you hopefully find that someone, somewhere, has gained something from what you've contributed to this world of ours.

I had the privilege of spending time with Shauna when we invited her to Lincoln for our annual High School Girls' Retreat called Awaken this past February. We spent some quality time talking about life and writing and the future and her son Henry and food, often over meals. Just last week, when I was in Grand Rapids for a college fair, I met up again with Shauna and her little boy, Henry, for breakfast at an adorable cafe, Marie Catrib's. It was refreshing to see her, like an old friend I'd known for years.

But I say all of this just to encourage you to pick up her book. It is an honest, raw, unique collection of essays that you'll find yourself cozying up to, reading in sections or all at once, feeling like you're having tea with your best friend, maybe even crying because it seems like she's got a window into the deepest parts of your character flaws. Her book is like comfort food and a security blanket. It reminds me that, yes, I'm normal. I'm not the only one who struggles with this and that, and I'm not crazy for being jealous of someone and wanting them to trip and fall. With a good amount of laughter included, Shauna captures real, honest, ordinary moments in life and helps you to find something extraordinary within.

So, as a somewhat distant friend of hers, I'm giving her a plug to anyone who may not have read this book yet. Also, check out her blog...it will give you even more insight into who she is and her most recent posts are from the experiences throughout the first year since Cold Tangerines was released. You'll also find that her current project is a book that will be called Bread and Wine, and she'll be focusing on the community that often happens among people in the presence of food.

Go get a copy of Cold Tangerines. You won't be disappointed. You might just want to buy a copy for everyone you know. They make great Christmas presents!

inspiration boards, pt. 1

A few of my friends and I have a group blog that we use to share thoughts with each other and no one else, and one of my friends mentioned something that came about on the Oprah episode where she hosted author of Eat, Pray, Love, Liz Gilbert. They talked about making "hopes and dreams" boards--creative collages of things that inspire, invoke happiness, and resonate with you. My best friend Amanda suggested that we do this, and I'm going to take it a step further...I want to encourage anyone who is reading this to make one.

I think it would be really cool to share pictures of our completed inspiration boards at some point in time. I googled them and found a few sites with pictures of boards, suggestions for making them, and one flickr group specifically for these pictures! For those of you who enjoy creating, organizing, and dreaming, this is something you'll love to do. I consider myself a creator, an organizer, and a dreamer, but it's something I need to challenge myself to more often. I tend to think about it, want to do it, but I don't put it into practice nearly as often as I should.

So I'm making an inspiration board. I'm going to gather clippings, artwork, colors, poems, quotes, beautiful photos, creative fonts, designs, travel destinations, song lyrics, and anything else I can find that makes me dream more. Anything that will make me smile just to look at and will inspire me to be more creative.

If you need some help finding some ideas or inspiration yourself, here are some sites:

Resources for Writers...

Simple Mom Blog/The Creative Family

Inspiration Boards blogspot...

Hope these help...if not, google it and see what you can find! But it's your own, so be creative! I'm looking forward to starting mine! I'll post pics of it when I'm done...that will be Part 2!

changes

So, I've decided that my blog needed an update.

After looking through tons of backgrounds and such, I decided most are way too busy and chose this one. I hope you like it!

Let me know how it looks...I always need second and third and fourth opinions on things.

i just have to ask...

This is coming right out of left field...but I just have to ask.

Is anyone with me in thinking that in Rihanna's song "Disturbia" it sounds like she's saying "Disturbula?"

(And these are the ridiculous thoughts that keep me up at night...)

This is the year...

Every year on my birthday, I say "This is going to be the year." I've noticed that I actually say this each birthday as well as when the New Year begins. Yesterday (the 21st) was my birthday, and once again I've decided that this year will be the year. The year for what? I'm not sure. But it's going to be a good year, I've decided.

I said farewell to being 25, and ironically, to summer. My birthday is officially the last day of summer. September 22nd is always the first official day of fall. It seems right.

While my age doesn't change a whole lot about me, I know that it does symbolize one more year of life for which I can be grateful. 26 years of growing into who I am. It's hard to believe how quickly time has gone by. It seems like just last week I was in college, and the week before that I was dancing my heart out in Streatorettes in high school, and the week before that I was that nerdy junior high girl who wanted to start her own "Babysitters Club," and not long before that I was a naive little preschooler playing on stilts made out of coffee cans at the ABC Nursery School.

And now, here I am. 26 years old. College graduate. Admissions Counselor. Traveler. Networker. Music-lover. Wannabe writer. Wannabe photographer. "Aunt Mandy." Single, twentysomething. Daughter, sister, friend. Indecisive. Creative. Anxious. Loyal. Curious. Explorer. Seeker. Believer. Follower of Jesus.

How many ways can I describe myself? It's difficult for me, because one-word phrases can't capture a lifetime of memories. The stories and memories of my life are my life. And for those, I am grateful. They define me. The ups and downs, my past and future, and right now. This is me. 26 years old, and I can't be anything other than grateful for who I am and striving to always become a better version of that.

So with that said, this is going to be the year. Goodbye 25, hello 26!

The Renewed Mind is the Key

OH yes, my friends...this is for real.
Please watch. You will be entertained.
http://www.theway.org/Current/Mar07/Mar07Flash4.htm

and the craziest day ever award goes to...

Today.

In Louisville. Right now about 230,000 people in Louisville are without power, and it's the strangest thing to drive through a city you're only semi-familiar with when stoplights and streetlights are not working. And then when you try to turn down a street but can't because there's a massive uprooted tree in the way, it gets just a little confusing. And we're still without power right now, might I add...thank you for laptops and "borrowed" wireless signals...

I'm in Louisville, KY this weekend and through Wed. morning for some college fairs, and I came for the few days prior to stay with my best friend Amanda and her husband Adam. We went to church this morning and when we came out, it was eerily windy--particles blowing in our eyes, branches falling off of trees, garbage cans being knocked over--and then we started driving down the streets. Had no idea it was quite as bad as it was...the wind was up to 73 mph and I saw several massive trees completely uprooted, at least 3 different places where very large tree branches fell on top of cars, and countless roads blocked by giant tree limbs and entire trees.

The strangest part about it was that there was not a single drop of rain. In fact, it was partially sunny outside, but just really windy. I've never seen anything like it. I've witnessed bad thunderstorms and seen the effects of some damaging tornadoes, but this was really different...

And now it feels very Armageddon-ish. No lights in many sections of town, but random areas have power. Every restaurant that has power is crowded, and ice machines are out everywhere for those filling up coolers to rescue the food in their freezers and refrigerators. I went to the gas station tonight after the youth group event @ Southeast and tried to get gas. They're running out at the few that have power, so after waiting for the drops to slowly pour out, about 20 minutes later, I had almost 3 gallons and was at $11.40. I quit. I'll get it tomorrow.

Anyway, check out these pictures. My friends Dawn & Brian (friends of Amanda & Adam's, actually, but now friends of mine as well...) took these pictures today after we left their house in the Highlands where there was a ton of damage.

p.s. sorry for the lack of paragraphs...for some reason blogger wouldn't space my paragraphs as i typed.

rain, rain, go away...

I just remembered the old Garbage song (circa 1995), "I'm only happy when it rains..."


I'm so not happy when it rains. Unless I have nowhere to be except curled up on my couch in sweatpants, a hoody, and with good movies and ice cream and popcorn.


And I'm so not a fan of the end of summer. (I'm also so sounding like a valley girl today with the way I'm writing...) I go through this, write about this, every year when the seasons change, but I cannot say it enough. Summer is just too short. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy fall and the wonderful things that autumn brings. But when Autumn slides in without giving Summer a fair goodbye, I'm not extremely happy about it. Last week, Lindsey and I made a list of the 10 (which became 12) things that are good about fall to remember on days when I miss summer. It's hanging in my office on a pink Post-it, which makes it official. Here is our list:

• Chili (preferably my dad's recipe) and homemade soups
• Scarves
• Hoodies
• Hot apple cider and caramel apples
• Bonfires (even though I never really go to any...)
• Pumpkin flavored things...(pumpkin pie, pumpkin pie blizzards, my mom's pumpkin bars, pumpkin spice lattes & frappuccinos, etc.)
• Good candle smells (particularly Autumn Walk by Gold Canyon...)
• It's almost time for Christmas music
• End of summer sales
• Non-frizzy hair
• Colored leaves
• Sheri's good food (which is year-round, really...)

These things get me through the fall, but they certainly don't get me through the long winters of central Illinois. I might enjoy fall much more if it led to something better, but I always know what's coming next...dreadful cold. I think some year I'll fly south with the birds.

I'm trying to learn to enjoy this season, but with the rain today it's hard to. Technically (and ironically?) the last day of summer is on my birthday (the 21st...hint, hint), but it feels a whole lot like fall right now. I can smell it in the air...it's earthy and the breezes are crisp and less humid. It's cooler, darker, and the evening sunsets paint the sky with warmer shades of gold and pink and purple and blue. Right now, those sunsets are my hope for autumn.

I hope the rain will stop and the sun will rise, shine, and set...reminding me again that there really is beauty in the fall.

What do you like about fall? I need some more reminders!

laughing with Evan

I have to share this absolutely adorable video my mom recorded on her camera of me and Evan laughing. He was hitting me with the couch cushion and I'd get him back, and he obviously thought it was the funniest thing ever. And sorry it's sideways...couldn't figure out how to rotate it. :(

Just tilt your head. It'll be funny. And people will laugh at you. :)

I've witnessed a miracle...

OK, so it's not quite a miracle, but let me tell you a story...

About 3 months ago, while I was at work, I received a text message from my favorite (and only) brother-in-law David, who was running the show at their garage sale and trying to clear his house of all of the unnecessary things. I had been keeping my bike at their house for quite some time, and I hadn't used it in a really long time. So David texted me asking what I wanted for my bike, because he was getting rid of it.

Now, I got that bike when I turned 9 I'm pretty sure...I can vividly remember that birthday quite well. I was standing in our front yard, and my parents were about to surprise me with my birthday present, and when we went outside, there was a hot air balloon in the sky not too far from our house. I got really excited, thinking that was my present, and then they wheeled my bike out from the garage. Needless to say, I wasn't as excited about the bike, but I was still happy about it. It's a lovely grayish Huffy mountain bike with purple and orange writing on it, and it's certainly not a high-quality bike by any means.

So when David wanted to sell my bike, I was a little torn. Sure, I hadn't ridden it in months, if not years, but I didn't quite want to part with it. Hesitant to rescue my bike, I went ahead and let him mark it and put it out there, and surely it sold for about $15 or so to some lucky person.

About a week and a half ago, I was going with David & Cory and the kiddos to the pool in Bloomington/Normal, and as we rounded a curve in the road near their house I saw something in the ditch that sure resembled my beloved bike. It definitely looked pretty similar. I could see the purple writing...

On our way back from the pool, it was still there. David pulled over the car and got out to check it out, and sure enough, it was MY EXACT BIKE! We're talking, Huffy mountain bike made in like 1990, folks...it's not something you find just any day. Not a collectible, but probably slightly difficult to find the exact same bike these days. Miraculously, there was nothing wrong with it except that the chain had just fallen off, so David threw it over the ditch so no one else would see it near the road. When we got back to their house (only about a block away from there), I walked over and regained my old bike!!!

I think God dropped it in the ditch for me to find...I'm pretty much ecstatic about it.

And there you have it, friends...a miracle found in a ditch.

because it's late...

Since my adorable nephew has suddenly awakened from his sleep and is chattering in his crib keeping me awake, I figured I'd spout out some random information.

1. I think I kind of like the Jonas Brothers. I hate to admit it. But there. I said it.

2. I miss the beach. But this week's weather in Illinois has been amazing. Like, Southern California amazing. Can we please keep it?

3. I can feel fall coming. I really can. I can smell it in the air and feel it in the cool mornings and crisp nights.

4. I have a severe problem with finishing books. I want to start reading new books all the time, but I can't seem to finish them. I'm still working on several right now, including "Eat, Pray, Love" which I'll also post more blogs about, as well as "Bird by Bird: Some Thoughts on Writing" (Anne Lamott), and a few others I've picked up here and there but don't plan on reading consistently or in order.

5. I'm NOT afraid to admit that I'm still anxious to see the 2nd Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movie.

6. I am tired of meetings.

7. I'm learning patience these days in a new way I didn't realize I had in me. I'm kinda liking it. I'm going along for the ride and just enjoying it.

8. My friend Sarah made THE BEST MEAL last night at her apartment...it is now my favorite. Mediterranean Puff Pastry Chicken. (recipe is on www.allrecipes.com) A-MA-ZI-NG. Just imagine a flaky, rectangular puff pastry crust, browned just right and very crispy, and as you poke your fork into it you find chicken tenderloin marinated in pesto sauce, garlic, and stuffed inside with red peppers, spinach, more pesto, and feta cheese (my FAVORITE!). I'm sold on pretty much anything with feta in it. I'm still thinking about this meal today.

9. Has anyone seen that commercial with the Burger King guys dressed up outside of a Subway--one dressed as a grilled burger and the other as a chicken sandwich? And one of them kicks the air...hilarious. My sister and I actually rewound that on DVR one night to laugh at it again. It's not funny unless you see it. hm...

10. I ran 2 miles this week. That's like a freaking milestone for me. Usually one mile is hard enough, and somehow I just kept on pushing through...i'm hoping to keep that up, but we'll see.

11. I love my friends. Seriously, I have awesome friends. It's just overwhelming sometimes how many really great people are in my life. And in the words of one of the BCG's, "If I wasn't one of us, I'd want to be one of us..."

12. Last weekend I attended Christie & Caleb Wright's wedding, which was one of my favorite weddings as of late. Two of the most beautiful people, inside and out, and their love is simply beautiful. I love when there are just good marriages that you feel good about. So looking forward to seeing their marriage grow...and such a fun time dancing!

13. Red Vines make really good drumsticks on the steering wheel when you're driving. I'm just sayin'...

OK, well, hoping Evan is finally falling asleep, but he's still whining in there like "Hey! Someone come and get me!" and it takes everything in me as Aunt Mandy not to come in and try to rock him back to sleep. But tonight, he's not rockable. He's a squirmy worm tonight and you just have to let him whine and cry himself to sleep, because he's restless. So I think he's beginning to calm down, and Mimi (my mom) is asleep on the couch, and I think I'm going to head to bed.

once again, more pictures...

I couldn't seem to get all of the pictures uploaded yesterday, so here are some more. All of them are on my facebook, but obviously not everyone has access to that. So here are some more :)

And by the way, this one below cracks me up. My mom and I watched this pelican walking around in the water forever, and I couldn't figure out how he was doing it, so I called him the Jesus pelican.

more Florida pics (there are plenty...)

I only put a few pics in the post below from Florida, so here are a few more just in case you want to revel in the beauty that is the ocean with me some more. :)

back from vacation...

Well, I'm back from Florida and feeling quite relaxed and tan. My mom and I went to New Smyrna Beach (just south of Daytona) to stay at a condo that belongs to some close family friends of ours. We had about 5 days to do absolutely nothing but lay by the pool, go to the beach, watch the colors of the sky change over the water, climb 203 steps to the top of a lighthouse, read and listen to crickets chirping while sitting on the lanai at night, and do just about anything we wanted to do.

I feel as if there are a billion things I could write about, and a good portion of that could be just about the colors in the sky and the shades of gold that the sun seemed to shine. My camera can't always quite capture what I see with my eyes, but I always try. I have to say that my favorite moments were near the beginning and the end of the trip, and both were along the beautiful shoreline. When we first got there, we took a stroll down the beach on the sand that was softer than a pair of slippers right as the sun was going down in the distance. It was the most beautiful beginning to the trip.

The last full day we were there, I really wanted to get up early to go run along the beach instead of just in the condo neighborhood, so we got up around 7:00 and headed to the beach around 8:00 a.m. I took a long, hot & sweaty run down the shore (yes, HOT and SWEATY at 8:00 a.m....) and then we walked down to the Flagler Avenue Coffee Shop to get frozen teas. We walked back to the beach, sat our chairs in the sand with our toes in the water, and I read from Psalm 29.

This is what I read:

Ascribe to the Lord, you heavenly beings, ascribe to the Lord glory and strength.

Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name; worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness.

The voice of the Lord is over the waters; the God of glory thunders, the Lord thunders over the mighty waters.

The voice of the Lord is powerful; the voice of the Lord is majestic.

The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars; the Lord breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon.

He makes Lebanon leap like a calf, Sirion like a young wild ox.

The voice of the Lord strikes with flashes of lightning.

The voice of the Lord shakes the desert; the Lord shakes the Desert of Kadesh.

The voice of the Lord twists the oaks and strips the forests bare. And in his temple all cry, "Glory!"

The Lord sits enthroned over the flood; the Lord is enthroned as King forever.

The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.

As I sat and read, re-read, and journaled about these words, I couldn't help but recognize what a majestic, powerful, creative, and strong, yet kind, gentle, and peace-giving God we serve. The same God that can speak lightning forth can also whisper as gently as a soft breeze. The same God that makes waves crash into the shore, filled with power, sends quiet raindrops just when they're needed in a dry and thirsty land. The same God whose voice can make the earth quake and split the tallest, mightiest trees of cedar can speak and breathe life into a gentle baby.

This God who is so mighty and powerful is yet so gentle and peaceful. And as I sat and watched the waves crash with some great power, I could feel the gentleness of the breeze blowing as if God was whispering peace right to me. And with that, I wanted nothing more than just to breathe in and breathe out with the very breath God breathed into me.

I love when God reveals Himself in the most surprising ways.

nostalgic and surprises

I'm going to start by referring back to this blog from 2006 when I wrote about a trip to Carbondale, IL to visit our LCC camp team at a Christ In Youth Conference at Southern Illinois University. I just got back last night from visiting there again, and I realized last week that this is the 12th year I have been to CIY in Carbondale. Yes, 12 years. That makes me feel really old.

I have a lot of memories there. I went from 1996 (after I had graduated 8th grade) through 2000 as a camper with my good ol' youth group from Central Church of Christ in Streator, IL with Rondel Ramsey still as our youth minister. CIY in high school was like the highlight of my life, aside from my high school dance team. Despite how much time Amanda and I probably spent just meeting cute boys and taking pictures with them or of them, it provided an atmosphere for life change. I made some of the best decisions of my life at CIY in high school.

During the college years and since working at LCC I've been able to work at CIY from behind the scenes and see another perspective. In these years I have met so many awesome people who have turned out to be some of my very best friends. God is surprising me these days with the people He seems to place in life just at the right time.

So being on campus this past week I was flooded with memories of having "His Time" with my youth group in the same spot every year, with Rondel prompting us to take our faith a step deeper and further. I specifically remember talking about being "in the boat" or "out of the boat" and going around our youth group of 65 people sharing where each of us felt we were. Those nights at "His Time" shaped part of who I am. It's where I stood up and told my youth group I had decided I needed to go to Lincoln, and I asked them to hold me accountable for it. Here I am today...working for Lincoln.

I have memories of Robin Sigars on the stage and Andy Schroeder behind his keyboard singing "At the Cross" and "Shout to the Lord" and all the tears I cried when something was happening in my heart or I was just sad to leave on the last night. It's funny how I ended up interning with Andy Schroeder before graduating college.

I have memories of all the BCG's (Bible College Girls) and our fun times that summer of 2003 we spent together traveling to 6 weeks of conference together. I'm surprised by God to see that they are some of my very best friends to this day. I remember having a bridal shower for Abbra (one of the BCG's from Cincinnati) on the 10th floor lobby of Neely hall after we found our she got engaged on the week off and was getting married the next January 10th. We had water fights in the halls, led d-groups together, prayed together, had dance parties in our rooms, and have since shared much of life together.

Even in just the 3 days I spent in Carbondale this week I made new memories with new and old friends, and I'm always so surprised by how God works. I caught up with old friends I hadn't seen in years or months and it was a breath of fresh air.

It isn't anything about the campus of SIU that makes me nostalgic, but it's what has happened there. It's the ways God has worked, decisions I made, friendships created, friendships rekindled, and the Spirit moving still in thousands of kids who go for conference each summer.

Right now I'd probably best describe where I am in life as being surprised by God's work. I'm nostalgic, but I'm constantly surprised at how He works in some of the strangest places, in the craziest people, and in such seemingly random ways. But He has orchestrated it all, none of it happening at random. I'm surprised by God right now, and I love it.

I love surprises.

Eat, Pray, Love... (Part 1)

I'm borrowing a copy of a friend's book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, and I haven't made it very far in yet. What I have read, as of now, has been magical. She has an incredible ability to make you laugh in the midst of words that make you feel the depth of her emotions, dark or light as her life may be at that moment in time. If you have no idea what the book is about, it's her journey in life to the three I's: Italy, India, and Indonesia, where she seems to master the 3 components of the title of the book. (Sidenote: keep in mind, she is not necessarily a "Christian" so don't take her views on prayer or God as my point of view, or the right point of view, for that matter...just take what you can from it. She's slightly New-Age-y...but I enjoy reading her perspective.)

I'm in the first section of the book in which she's writing about life in Italy. Her love for the Italian language and for gelato is fascinating. (Sidenote: I'll state that if I could simply travel and eat food, I would have an awful lot to write about too. Any takers? Reading this book is dangerous for me...makes me want to pick up and move to a faraway place, eat pastries and gelato and sit in cafes and write and learn a new language in a place where you're totally anonymous. But that's besides the point...)

One thing that I particularly loved in what I read last night was her writing about her friend, Luca Spaghetti, who taught her about the beauty of doing nothing. Italians have mastered this skill. We, Americans, seem to have botched the whole idea. We pay for so many kinds of entertainment, but in being entertained, are we even enjoying it? Is it possible to find pleasure in doing nothing?

This is something I've struggled with for a long time, and I'm learning this about myself daily. I get bored very easily. I get bored at work if I'm not constantly doing something. I get bored at home if I don't have something to do. I get bored while running, while driving, while doing 3000 things at once...I'm not sure how my parents kept me entertained when I was younger, but I probably complained and whined the words, "I'm bored!" an awful lot. Living by myself tends to get boring after awhile, so I fill the empty space and time with plenty of shows on the Food Network, many episodes of Tori & Dean on Oxygen, and of course my weekly obsession of So You Think You Can Dance. Even watching TV isn't enough for me, but in the midst of that I can often be found doing sudoku puzzles, reading a book during commercials, playing spider solitaire, doing crunches, folding laundry, putting dishes away, and so on. Of course there are times when I'm completely lazy and I do nothing at all, but it's typically not my state. And when it is, I'm bored.

I have to fill my time with something. If I'm not traveling somewhere on a weekend, I'm bored. If I have a weekend or some time without a single plan, I'll go somewhere and find something to do, even if it's by myself. I just don't enjoy sitting around my apartment and doing the same things over and over again. I get bored.

So this art of finding pleasure in doing nothing is something I need to learn from Elizabeth Gilbert and her friend Luca Spaghetti and the rest of Italian culture. It's a difficult thing to sit in silence and practice doing nothing and actually enjoy it. I have my days, or moments, when I can simply sit and listen to the rainfall from my windowsill or watch the sun set on the horizon or sit on a porch and enjoy the peace of a summer evening. I just want to learn to have more.

Tonight, I think I'll make it my goal to go sit. And just sit. I think I'll go for a run, which then turns into walking, and then stop in the park and just sit. I'll turn my music off on my earphones and just listen to the silence. There is much to be said about moments of silence and how prayerful they can actually be. I so often think that prayer is me doing all the talking, and that's all wrong. God probably has shouted at me time and again, "Turn off the TV! Take off your headphones! Turn off your iTunes! Stop doing laundry, dishes, sudoku, or whatever you're doing! Stop doing! Just listen..." (hm...flashback to the scene of Mary & Martha...)

Take a moment yourself, or an hour, or however much time you have, to enjoy doing nothing. I'm going to try...

the JM report...

This weekend we semi-surprised my best friend Amanda with tickets to see John Mayer in Indianapolis as a part of her bachelorette party weekend, and it was an absolute blast. First of all, the Verizon Wireless Music Center in Noblesville is a great venue. Loved having lawn tickets, laying on a blanket, and feeling much freer than in the seating area. Besides, John himself gave the lawn area props for taking a risk on the weather...which turned out to be beautiful.

Brett Dennen was the first opener, and I had heard a few of his songs that I have on iTunes already, so I was excited to hear him live. Despite resembling a leprechaun, he sounded really great live. He has a Jack Johnson-ish sound, but a really unique voice sets him apart from a lot of artists.

Colbie Caillat was the next opener, and I already love her music no matter what. I had seen her perform on a few talk shows on TV and expected the performance she gave. I love her entire album, her voice, her sound, everything, but the girl doesn't have much stage presence at all. I don't blame her, because there isn't much you can add to her performance. She just fits much better in a coffee-shop setting or a smaller venue, but her performance leaves a little to be desired. I still love her though. And listening to her music while watching the summer sunset on the horizon made me feel like I was in southern California again...

John Mayer...always great. It was my third time seeing him live, and it was probably my favorite just because of the outdoor setting and being able to move around or sit down or lay down on the blanket or whatever we wanted during the show. Songs I know he played for sure (in no particular order):

• opened with Good Love is On the Way
• Vultures
• Belief
• Waiting on the World to Change
• No Such Thing
• Stop This Train
• Gravity
• Why Georgia
• Clarity (I think?...)
• Bigger Than My Body
• Stitched Up (song he wrote w/ Herbie Hancock)
• Say (encore)

Covers he did:

• "Free Fallin" --which sounded even better than Tom Petty himself...
• "Mercy" by Duffy--great bluesy rendition of this and continued w/ amazing jam session...love the blues.
• "No One" by Alicia Keys--took me a minute to figure out which song it was at first b/c he has the ability to make everything sound like it's his own. So good.

No matter what song JM sings, it sounds incredible live. He never sounds the same twice. It never sounds exactly like the recorded version, but I love when artists do that well. Sometimes it's annoying, but for some reason with him it's not.

And I just have to say that I love the wisdom he has in his lyrics. Continuum is probably one of the best albums of all time, and the lyrics are so solid throughout. The other night as he was playing "Belief" I said to Katie next to me "This should be the song of the church!"

We're never gonna win the world, we're never gonna stop the war. We're never gonna beat this if belief is what we're fighting for.

I know the song is about war, but I had a spiritual moment that night realizing that if all the world thinks "belief" in Christ is enough, they are missing out. If all we're fighting for is simply "belief" we're missing out on so much more...

So in the midst of the concert I had a little moment, but JM's lyrics always make me see something new. I love it. He closed with an encore of the song "Say"...which I cannot get enough of.

And here are some fun pictures from our night:

me and my BFF Amanda!!!

Katie, Abbie, and I making our best John Mayer singing facesAmanda and Melissa making their best John Mayer singing faces...Um, yeah we reverted to Jr. High and layed down on the ground to take a circle picture of our faces ;)Super excited about a song...playing guitar on each other's legs...haha
Oh, and P.S. for anyone wondering if Jennifer Aniston was there...I did not see her, but I do know she was there somewhere. I happened to go to H&M on Sunday and had a conversation with the guy at the cash register who happened to eat dinner with them both at The Grill in Indy on Friday night, the 4th of July. His friend managed the restaurant and they came in and decided to all hang out. So yes, she was there...Johniston was in Indy...

sights and stuff from Hollywood...

So, to share some crazy, funny, or fun sights or things from Hollywood... here is some of what I saw:

• Guy walking out of a Rite-Aid on a Sunday morning in a hospital gown complete with booties, pants, gown tied in the back, and bracelet. Not sure where he escaped from, but apparently he needed something at Rite-Aid...

• Jose Canseco came in to eat @ Barney's Beanery in West Hollywood with his brother Ozzie (wearing what appeared to be a Bedazzled black t-shirt...) and their daughters (who appeared to have silicone lips at the age of 12)...they sat right in front and didn't seem to mind when people came up to ask for autographs and such.

• While playing pool, my friend Shannon didn't realize Jose was actually right behind her, and they sort of "danced" back and forth as he tried to get around her...she had no clue he was right there...I wish I had that on tape!

• Saw Mila Kunis (she plays Jackie on "That '70s Show" and is on the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall)...though she looked pretty trashed...

• Got to see old friends like Lindsay Heston & Erinn McVey from LCC and Justin Pouk from High School...fun times!

• While sitting at a great restaurant called Birds (with some amazing rotisserie chicken), we see the host RUN to the table behind us, only to tell some guy that his hair is ON FIRE from the candle on the table...the guy was clearly high or trashed or something b/c he had no idea...and didn't seem to care much. And the smell of burnt hair isn't so appetizing...

i heart CA

I heart California weather.

It is amazing here right now...Gorgeous days, peaceful & breezy nights, sunny mornings...

I'm in L.A. right now on the campus of UCLA for a camp called Ignite with the Jr./Sr. High kids from Central Christian Church in Las Vegas. There are about 600 of them here, and I'm having a blast getting to know them in little bits and pieces as I'm able to. I had forgotten how funny junior high kids really are, how awkward some home schooled kids can be, and how much high schoolers love to yell "woooo!!!" at every little thing at church camp. Back in the college days I used to do camps every summer as a rep for LCC, and in the past few years working for Admissions I've been privileged to do a few more weeks of conferences and such. I'm so thankful I get to spend this week w/ these kids hanging out and helping them to see that there's more to life than the little snapshot they often see.

It's only their second night here at camp and I love when they start realizing that being a Christian isn't just a show anymore. Some are still great at putting on the masks, but many of them are being introduced to Christ for the first time and many are reconnecting and choosing to grow deeper. I'm helping out w/ a small group of girls who are going to be sophomores in high school, and I can't believe how different each girl is from the next. These kids, having grown up in Vegas their entire lives, have such a different background than what I'm used to.

I love the diversity. It seems to be a rarity in the Midwest. I'm not talking about racial diversity, but differences in cultures, values, families, traditions, theologies. Even as I sat at The Coffee Bean in Westwood Village this afternoon I realized how we're all so different, yet we're still all the same. We look different on the outside, and we've all got such different beliefs, different lives, different upbringings. But we're all looking for purpose. We're all in the same boat looking for love and a reason to be alive and a hope for the future.

Praise God we have that in Christ. No matter what we look like, no matter what we do, how much we sin, He loves us all the same. No questions asked.

And so I'm loving more than the weather in California. I'm loving that my eyes are being opened to the bigger world around me and a love that crosses all boundaries, all differences, all separation. I knew that before, but I'm catching a clearer glimpse of it now.

HollyWOOD

Well, I'm headed for Hollywood tomorrow! This week I'll be out in L.A. for a youth conference called Ignite held at UCLA with all of the junior high/senior high kids from Central Christian Church in Las Vegas. I'm pretty stoked to go hang out with the kids from their group and the fact that it's my job to do so is pretty awesome. I am thankful.

Looking forward to also catching up with Lindsay Heston who lives IN Hollywood, literally, and hanging out with her a bit before Ignite starts. If you don't know her, you probably should. I was in school with her at LCC and she moved out to Hollywood to pursue an acting career. She has had some minor roles and is getting ready to travel the world for a year to do missions work. Keep up with her in the future...I'm sure you'll see her on the big screen someday! She even has an imdb page...search for Lindsay Heston at www.imdb.com.

I have a lot left to do today...packing, a quick trip to Springfield, etc. Hopefully I'll be able to update from the west coast, but if not...I'll be in hollyWOOD, ya'll!

life is good.

My dad loved the shirts and hats and items with the brand "Life is Good" printed on them. Towards the end of his life, it became the theme of his life. Life is good. And we should cherish it. When God was in the process of creating, he labeled his creation as "good." On his last day of creating, He looked at everything He had made, all of it, and decided once again that it was good. This earth, the land, the water, the sky, the air, the plants & animals, and most of all, living, breathing human beings.

Life.

It was good.

It is good.

I have been noticing a few simple things in my life lately that are just plain good. And while they're small, insignificant things, I don't recognize their goodness nearly enough. I always see the things I want to change, the negatives, the "what ifs" and "what could bes" and just don't spend time thanking God for all that is good in this life. As Oprah-esque as it is, I am enjoying these simple things and smiling when I see them or think of them. These are on my list, in no particular order:

• fresh lemons in my kitchen in a red antique-ish enamelware pot. I just smile every time I look at it. I don't know why. They just make me happy.
• And on that note, making fresh lemonade/lemon shake-ups with the lemons...
• sitting in my windowsill in the evenings...uncomfortable as it is, I love it.
• the sunshine on my back through my office window in the mornings at work
• big, juicy, fresh strawberries...by themselves, with sugar, made into pies, over ice cream, in fruit dip, blended in smoothies, any way they're prepared...love them. They are a staple.
• sitting outside and doing absolutely nothing...I wish I had a front porch so I could enjoy this more, but I could sit outside for hours on end in the summertime. Evenings are just perfect.
• the smells of freshly cut grass...I try to inhale as much as possible whenever I smell grass on my walks or while I'm running. If I could bottle it up, I would. I've thought about writing the Gap to see if they'll bring back the old Grass perfume just for me.
• weddings...I just love them. Summer is just wedding season. And this year, my best friend Amanda is getting married, and my good friend Steph just got married this past Friday. Both of them are so in love, and I love seeing their futures unfold with this exciting new part of life.
• Sunny mornings. I rarely enjoy mornings, but in the summertime, it's just different. It doesn't mean I wake up any easier, but once I am up and outside, I love it. I want to create more time to just sit, breathe in, and enjoy it while I can.

While there are dozens of other things I could share, I'll stick to this for now.

Looking over your life, what simple things would you say are just plain "good" right now?

Once again...some humor for your day.

crazy flower yard

Just for your viewing pleasure, I wanted to share this lovely front yard of a random house in town whose yard looks like it vomited up these purple flowers. I find it hilarious every time I drive by.

(Sorry for the extremely poor picture quality...I did a drive-by w/ my cell phone.)

a World on Fire

I had never seen this video until today, and when I watched it, I was in awe. It never ceases to amaze me how much we spend on useless things and how little it costs to help a world in need. I know I tend to talk about this a lot, and while it might feel like a guilt trip for some of you, I don't really mind. I'd rather make you feel guilty than not make a difference in the world. So if my little words can somehow offer motivation or influence in someone else's decision to save a life, then I'm thankful.

So if you can, just take a second and consider what you could give up to help someone.

• If you're interested in starting out at $7/month, join the Mocha Club. It's a great club through an organization called African Leadership that helps provide clean water, food, education, business training, ministerial training, orphanages, and many other things for people around Africa.
• Maybe you want to take it a step further...$30/month can help sponsor one of the precious little kids I met in Romania through Forget Me Not Ministries. I'd be glad to introduce you to one of the kiddos there who still need more sponsors so that they can take in more than 6 gypsy kids at the Isaiah Center.
• Countless organizations like Compassion and WorldVision exist in a similar way where you can pay $32/month and provide for basic needs, education, and Bible school for kids around the world.

Just think about it. I made decisions about these things in just a moment, and I probably could give up buying a shirt or two a month to sponsor yet another child.

So, guilt trip or not, I'm just sharing my convictions with the world (or the 3 people who might read this) in hopes that someone somewhere might also decide to help change the world.