Monday, November 08, 2004

I just left a comment on my buddy Phil's blog about how I feel like life is one big question mark right now. I question and second guess everything--from my job & ministries (am i really where i should be?), to my own personality & gifts (who in the heck am i?) to my relationships with family & friends (am i loving enough the people already in my life?). Those are just a few. Of course there are many more that I can't even put into words really...they're just floating around in my world waiting to be formed, asked, and answered.

One of the reasons I'm wondering if I love enough the people already in my life is this-- I think I have ADD now. Seriously. When I am surrounded by lots of new people I have a hard time focusing on one conversation. I'm starting to do the one thing I hate--look around and not pay attention or listen when other people are talking to me b/c i'm too busy looking around or stopping other people to talk to them at the same time. Why in the world do I do that? It's something I do too easily at Fuel b/c there are so many different people there that I want to talk to that I have a hard time focusing on just one at a time. I SO need to work on that.

Furthermore, here's something I read last night in a seminary book that I'd really like to think about:

"There are no small obediences. Every yes further ingrains the heart with the character of Jesus."

I will try my hardest to live with a constant attitude of 'yes' and hopefully my heart will slowly begin to change to become more like Jesus.

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