So you think you can dance? weekly memos

I cannot get on w/ this post w/out saying this:

Snow--what the crap was that last night? Do you really think you can dance? Words cannot even begin to express the laughter and hilarity my roommate Heidi and I experienced while watching the 45 seconds of you twirling your skirt, stomping your feet like a soldier, pointing your finger, pretending you're at a rave w/ a glow stick, or whatever the heck that was you did. All I can say is this: thanks for making me laugh harder than I had in a really long time. And thank you for allowing me to continually imitate you with ease each week.

and now, on with the rest of my memos:

Melissa--You should win. Ignore the crap they told you about being too jazzy last night. You're good.

Ashle--if Melissa doesn't win, you should win. You're a strong dancer.

Allen--I'm sorry buddy, but you can't go on any longer. I like your personality, but really most people who can dance can do what you do. You're not as versatile as you need to be to win this competition. (i know, i sound like a judge now, don't i?)

Nick--you're darn cute. I'm wondering curiously if you're gay. If not, the girls will be crazy about you. Even if you are, we probably still will be. You should be the guy winner.

Jamile--I really like you still too.

Dan Karaty--I missed you judging last night, but I'm so glad I got to see you on the screen for the few minutes they showed you choreographing the hip hop dance. You're half the reason I watch the show. Can you please come to Lincoln, IL and hang out w/ me? I can't get over your adorable-ness.

Live audience--you're so stinking annoying. You were a little better last night than you usually are, but you've gotta stop w/ the stupid "boo"-ing whenever the judges speak any truth. They know what they're talking about! (well most of the time)

that's all for this week.

oh, and America? here's your memo--if you don't vote Snow off the show this week, I'm going to be really pissed off at you. And also, please don't vote off Ryan. Keep him and, as much as I hate to say it, you've gotta get rid of Allan this week. PLEASE be smart.