Why am I awake at 1:35 a.m. and blogging? Because I can't sleep. Why can't I sleep? I have a bajillion things on my mind that won't let me.
I hate that I can never seem to clear my mind, no matter what I do. I try everything, but my imagination still soars and thoughts still swirl around inside my head and keep me from falling asleep. And it seems like noises at this apartment keep becoming more and more annoying. Half the time that's a large contribution to my insomnia. Tonight I was awakened by the reversing-beeping of a tow truck towing someone's car illegally parked on the street. Sometimes I wake up to the sound of rustling cords on the hardwood floors in my neighbor's apartment...I can't figure that one out. 2 nights ago I woke up because I had nightmares about the possum attacking me.
And now I can't even fall asleep because thoughts of everything are filling my head and I am frustrated even with myself for not being able to clear them away or pray them away. I can't seem to get any clarity on the world, on myself, on my relationships with God and people and work and life in general. i think I'm overwhelmed. It's not really rest for my body that I need, but my mind needs to sleep for a day. I just need a vacation. But not one of doing nothing and being bored...I need a vacation of fun.
mmk, and now I will continue to be awake due to the hollering I can hear by the yahoos in the street coming from the bar down the block. maybe they'll soothe me to sleep.