proud...

Of all the emotions and thoughts running through my mind throughout the past week, after my Dad's funeral yesterday the one thing that keeps running through my mind is this:

I am so proud of who he was.

The Streator Fire Department and our minister from CCC did an amazing job honoring my Dad in a service that would have made him cry...and he was not a crier. It was so perfectly fitting (tying in every aspect of his life...including his love for Texas Hold 'Em in such a creative way...) It was the most honorable thing I have ever been a part of or experienced, and it has been unbelievable to see and experience the outpouring of love we have felt from friends, family, the community, the church, and even complete strangers. Shelly did an incredible job honoring Dad with her voice, and he wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I'm just sad he couldn't sing the duet to "Chances Are" along with her like he always wanted to.

The morning my dad died, it was really foggy outside. It doesn't seem the fog has cleared, and things still seem like a blur. There are a lot of things that I still don't understand and none of us may ever understand. I've never clung to the "peace that passes all understanding" more than I have this week. My family and I have gone through so many emotions...thankfully including a lot of laughter at old pictures and memories and stories about my Dad.

I have about a million things I want to write and journal about, but the one thing I want the world to know is simply that I am proud of who my Dad was. If you knew him, I hope you are too.

I love my Dad...and I miss him already.

You can click on the title or this to read his obituary.

waiting...

Well, we are back in Chicago again with Dad. I just want him to feel better. It is so frustrating, and I know he's sick of being sick. Things just seem to take forever around here. We sat in an examination room where my dad just slept for 2 hours, and no one told us that the floor he was being sent to was waiting for him those entire 2 hours. We finally get to the floor, where he's ready to just lay down and sleep, and the bed is broken. it took another good hour and a half to get a bed that works (which turned out to be one that mom and I saw sitting in the hallway an hour before that and could have brought in and hooked up ourselves!!!), and he still doesn't even have an IV in. Everything takes forever. I hate waiting.

So the saying goes, "Good things come to those who wait..." I certainly hope that's true. In more ways than one.

I'm reminded of these words from Shane & Shane's song Waiting Room:

I will run when I cannot walk
I will sing when there is no song
I will pray when there is no prayer
I will listen when I cannot hear

Sitting in the waiting room of silence
waiting for that still soft voice I know
Offering my words up to the rooftop to Your heart
Trusting that this closet's where You are

Lord I know if I change my mind
You will change my heart in time
Sovereign Lord this time's from You
so I sit in the waiting room of silence
cause its all about You

I will fight when I cannot feel
I will trust when You dont seem real
I will tell when I cannot speak
I will step when I cannot see

I needed to be reminded of that just now. I feel like I'm waiting in a lot of ways in life right now, but it's good to be reminded that it's not about me. This time's from Him, 'cause it's all about Him. I may not be able to learn patience, but I can certainly hope to be better at waiting.

dave barnes christmas extravanganza

this is possibly one of the funniest things ever.

and this is my christmas present to you...from dave barnes.

just this one small thing...

Dear Santa,

Can I please have Jude Law for Christmas?

Well, not him in real life...but his character on The Holiday. That would be grand.

Or, perhaps, if you know of someone who looks like him, could speak with a British accent, looks hot in glasses like he does, has an amazing personality, and loves Jesus...could you send him my way?

Thanks!
~mandy

grrr...

i cannot find my flipping passport.

i have looked EVERYwhere!

and i am annoyed.

as soon as i file it as lost, i know it'll show up somewhere.

grrrr.....

update #2

We still don't know a whole lot about Dad. Mom's still up in Chicago with him, and the rest of us came back home today. They're doing a scope tomorrow to hopefully find out more. It took quite awhile for any doctors to actually start doing something, but I think now they're going to make sure they figure out what's going on.

i'll keep you posted. However, instead of me putting everything on here, feel free to email me if you want to know more!

update & prayer request

I wouldn't normally blog this, but I just thought it was easier than emailing tons of people. Just wanted to ask for your prayers for my Dad again...we're back in Chicago in the waiting room, hoping to know what's going on soon. It's probably not anything to do with the liver, however. He has been having chest pains for a few days now, and we think it has something to do with the accident he and my uncle were in a week ago on Lakeshore Drive. We're hoping they take care of the chest pains and the other things that have been setbacks lately. Anyway, he was flown from Streator to Chicago this evening and is now in ICU for the night. The rest of us just got here to the city and will wait to see what's going on. I'll try to keep you all updated, but for now, we're grateful for and appreciative of your prayers. Thanks friends!