I just feel like writing, so here I am...
I'm having a hard time focusing on anything lately. I suppose that's normal after losing someone you love. I just feel like at work or at home or anywhere I just sit here and stare...completely unfocused. I'm just not sure what to do or where to go. The morning my Dad died I felt like I wanted all of the world to stop. Obviously, it doesn't. Life must go on, the world must keep turning, and we must keep breathing in and out. It's hard to get life back to "normal" because it won't be the same again. We seem to be doing pretty well, but I'm sure the reality of my dad's absence will come in stages.
It's hard to imagine what people do who lose a loved one who did not know Christ. Our only peace comes from knowing we'll see my Dad again someday. It fills my heart with joy knowing that he had faith in Christ. I just can't imagine life or death without Christ. "For to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Never before have these words from 1 Cor. 1:18 rang more true in my ears: "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." I love this. It is the power of God.
I'm looking forward to the spring and to the new life it will bring. I hate winter. It's grey, dull, and depressing. It's cold outside, and it's cold inside the heart. Lately it feels like all that could go wrong keeps on going wrong. I'm blaming it on winter. I'm ready to see the blessings of little rays of sunshine and colorful tulips and the new life of my niece or nephew to come.
On that note, I think God is beginning to give little hints of new life...starting w/ little Cameron Raymer being born yesterday. I'm so excited for Missy & Jake as they begin they journey of parenthood, and I look forward to finally seeing the little guy!
And I'm thankful for the sunshine today. It's God's reminder that there is good amidst the winter. There is life amidst the grey. Thank God.
2 comments:
good post sister. i'm glad you're home with mom right now. i wish i could be there everyday for her. you are totally right about the spring. it makes everything new and we'll have days of sadness, but the thing that helps me through is that dad would be so upset if we went through life that way. he would want us to think of the good times and laugh and tell stories about him for years to come. and i'm also ready for the new baby kreitzer to come out and give us something to celebrate. i'm sure that dad already knows what it is, but the rest of us will know on tuesday whether you have a niece or nephew! love you.
what a great picture...so hopeful with the sun shining through, ya know?
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