Saturday, February 17, 2007

so much to say, so much to say, so much to say...

i'll do my best to make this as brief as possible.

1. First things first, people, search your peanut butter. I just located a recalled container of Peter Pan Peanut Butter w/ the first 4 digits of 2111 in my sister & brother-in-law's cabinet. If you're out of the loop, it's been recalled. Check the news. Now you know.

2. Fellow Grey's Anatomy watchers, we need to talk. The show better not turn into just "Anatomy" next week. I'll quit you, Grey's Anatomy, if you do such a thing.

3. 3 words: John Mayer tomorrow.

4. This is what I've been waiting to blog about all day... in light of ESPN columnist Bill Simmons' Grammys Diary, which my friend Dustin highlighted in his blog the other day, Lindsey and I put together our own diary of our morning at the enlightening Equip Conference in Peoria, IL. Background: Equip is a "Christian Workers Conference" in Peoria that mostly offers workshops to people who teach Sunday School. I'm also almost positive that the people there walked in the doors directly from 1985. (disclaimer: we're already seeking forgiveness for our slighty comments. if you are offended by our judgments, you may want to refrain from reading):
  • 8:41 a.m. - We take note of charismatic Arts Conference people across from us and their interesting video. Note to self: Avoid eye contact with strange guy from there who keeps clapping while wearing very ugly vest
  • 8:55 a.m. - Lindsey spots 2 mullets while I search for event schedule. I return to spot the second mullet worn by a woman sporting 3 hairstyles: short cut bangs in front, short spikes on top, and curled under chin-length oompa-loompa hair in the back. Does it get any better than that? Who needs to choose a hairstyle when you can sport 3 of them simultaneously?
  • 9:06 a.m. - Avoiding eye contact with crazy arts conference guy no longer works. He approaches the table, proceeds to force information about his arts, drama, dance, miming, flags conference upon us, and is kind but slightly pushy.
  • 9:32 a.m. - I spot the best outfit of the day...straight from 1991 maybe? Head to toe: brownish gray hair in low side ponytail, hunter green turtleneck w/ small white pine trees, turtleneck tucked into (so you can see the line where it's tucked in) black stirrup pants...yep, i said it, stirrup pants, and black hiking boots. I realize that '80s styles are coming back, but I'm pretty sure this one was oblivious rather than intentional.
  • 10:17 a.m. - Random guy stops by to ask just one question about our school: "Does your school teach baptismal regeneration?" So Lindsey and I think silently, look at each other, look back at him and say "and by that you mean...what, exactly?" to which he responds with "that's all i need to know..." and walks away. Later we realize that no, we do not believe in that nor does LCC teach it.
  • 10:34 a.m. - Arts Conference people continue to clap to their own DVD...this continues throughout the day.
  • 10:42 a.m. - I discover that cultures are suddenly clashing--there's a lady wearing a Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt, a long denim skirt, and...what's that in her ear? a Bluetooth? interesting...someone got half the memo at the change in decades...
  • 10:49 a.m. - We consider going to visit the booth that supplies resources for all of your feltboard needs. Maybe I should make one on how NOT to teach Sunday School lessons? unless the church is "bringin' feltboards back...(yep)"
  • 11:28 a.m. - Yet one more interesting person stops by to inform us that he has attended 18 colleges...and proceeds to display to us his actual I.D. cards from several of those colleges as well as providing us with a brief history of his family name and their travels from Europe.
  • 11:40 a.m. - We go to lunch and revisit 2007 for a short time.
  • 1:13 p.m. - We return to find Sarah here for her shift and keep her company until we leave at 2...also to prepare her for her experience. While doing so, arts conference guy begins more awkward conversation and impolitely comments that we are not an exciting school because we are not forcefully recruiting people walking by...(which means, we are not shoving our school down people's throats) to which Lindsey responded with a polite answer that we don't recruit with a sales pitch, but we want our students to want to come to LCC.
  • 2:00 p.m. - Lindsey and I head back to Lincoln feeling much more knowledgeable about '80s attire, pushy conservative Christians, socially awkward Christians, and much more after witnessing some of central Illinois' finest.

With all that said, we realize it's quite judgmental and rude, but we could not help but have comments. Jesus loves these people, and so do we. I just wish Stacy London and Clinton Kelly would appear and change their worlds up a little bit. The Christian subculture could get me going in itself with the way it gives Christ a bad name, in my mind, by marketing Jesus only to those who already know Him. That's another topic for another day. For now, I'm off to dream of stirrup pants and oompa loompa hair...ooh, and fanny packs...we saw those as well.


Dustin said...

Very funny.

Jake said...

I knew I had good reason to throw away all those Equip brochures...I think I'll stick with willow creeks sunday school conference. At least most of those people dress like late 90's and forward.

misty said...

Someone told me yesterday at church that Meredith has a 6 year contract so they couldn't have killed her off. I am so hooked to that show that I was in tears after the episode at the thought of her dying and Derek being without her.

freaked me out at the beginning of the other episode where she was underwater in her bathtub.

She's a handful.

Cory said...

ohmygosh, i'm cracking up. why didn't we discuss all this this weekend? i would have been crying. why do some christians have to be so weird? there just seems to be a large majority of them, while the rest of us christians believe you can still love god and keep up with the times. weirdos.

Mills Family said...

Tooo funny to read it that way. Oh, to just be a fly on the wall. I am glad you had each other to get through. Love you humor. I'll pray for Meredith and for your heart of grief over her painful experience. I don't watch Grey's but she would be crazy to quit.