Sitting in a coffee shop...

I love being an anonymous observer.

I'm used to doing a lot of things by myself, which can become boring after awhile, so I've grown accustomed to a great deal of people-watching. And it takes no genius to figure out that in general, people are weird. But then again, so am I. There is no normal. And if there was, it would certainly be boring...wouldn't it?

I remember every winter when I was little we would drive around town and look at Christmas lights, and I loved being able to see inside the windows of people's homes. It wasn't like I was a peeping Tom or a stalker, but I loved seeing just a glimpse into the lives of people I didn't know. Sitting in the backseat, usually next to my sister, we'd ride around "ooh-ing" and "ahh-ing" at all of the great lights and decorations (sometimes singing Christmas carols, if I had my way...), and I'd daydream and wonder about the stories of the people inside those homes. I guess I've always been a little bit curious.

Now as I sit in a coffee shop, I wonder what the people around me are here for. These days it seems that no one is without a laptop in front of them, and it makes me wonder what kind of work they all do. I assume there are businessmen here trying to enter sales calls or complete spreadsheets and pie charts and strategic plans. I can see high school or college students working on assignments together, studying for tests, and writing research papers. I see other people like me who may be simply writing, for work or for no reason at all, about something meaningful or ridiculously pointless like many things I write. I see others engaged in friendly conversation, catching up on their days, talking about relationships, life, and work.

I wonder sometimes if I am the only one so observant of the world around me. Are people watching me like I'm watching them? Is there some innate quality in me that makes me so curious? Of course, I'm not staring them down or listening to their conversations or reading over their shoulders. (However, I can't help but overhear the man next to me as he repeats three times to the person on the other end of his cell phone that he's at "the cof-fee-house...the coffee-house...the c-off-ee-house.") But do people wonder about me as I sit and type on this silly blog about the very things I see around me?

While I like to imagine the stories behind these people's lives, I never go beyond the imagining. There's something about the anonymity of it all that I enjoy. I like to be curious and to pretend I know what these people are about, even though I really have no idea. I'd like to make up stories about who they are and what they do and what they dream about for the world. I'd like to think that the group of people in the corner is strategizing for a business plan they're putting together to do something grandeur to help the community, and the girl by the window talking to her friend about making a college decision will maybe end up on the mission field someday, and the guy next to me reading is just taking some much-needed time away from his family to read his magazine and enjoy a good cup of coffee.

My favorite place to people-watch is the airport. There's something about a person traveling that brings out the curiosity in me. Where are they going? Where are they coming from? Why are they going there? Maybe it's for business (usually the business suit is a dead giveaway...) or maybe it's a vacation (usually the touristy souvenirs, Mickey Mouse ears, or sweatsuits and fanny packs give this away), or maybe it's for a honeymoon (the constant PDA is the giveaway here...). Maybe they have to fly somewhere for a funeral or a wedding or the birth of a baby. Maybe they're going to visit a friend they haven't seen in years or they're going on a mission trip (usually a group in matching t-shirts gives that one away...sidenote: I will NEVER make my groups going on mission trips wear matching t-shirts for this reason...).

No matter where I am, I always wonder about people. There is so much more to a person than what they look like, how they're dressed, or what they're currently doing. Everyone has a story. And it makes me recognize the reality of humanity.

We all have a story. But do we really have the capacity to find out all of the life stories around us? While I enjoy finding out people's backgrounds, sometimes I like leaving it up to my imagination as I sit back and conjure up some unlikely account of their lives.

So here I sit, in the coffee shop.

Just observing
wondering
imagining...

my humble abode...

Above is one of the 4 entrances to my building. I love my apartment in Lincoln. I live above what used to be a coffee shop, but it has since closed and been turned into a thrift store. And since I've been meaning to post pictures of my wonderful new couch, I thought I'd share a few others from the place I call "home."

My apartment building is obviously an older building that has been renovated by my very talented landlord who has turned the upstairs of our building into 6 amazing and very coveted apartments in this town. Three of them are loft apartments and three are not. Mine is not, and it may be the smallest or second to smallest apartment in the building and it's still quite large. They have incredible character--original hardwood floors, exposed brick walls, beautiful crown molding, and very cool Tiffany-esque lighting fixtures. The apartment I have here would cost about 3 times more than what I pay in any other city I'm sure. It will be hard to move someday!

But what I love about this place I call home is the way I've made it my own. I love being able to decorate and get creative on a limited budget. My absolute favorite thing in this apartment (now second to my couches, however...) are these:

Before I moved in, my mom and I were going to garage sales and searching for bargains...something I love to do. I found these amazing cabinet doors--5 of them--for 25 cents! ALL 5 for 25 cents!!! I had no idea what I was going to do with them, but I cleaned them off and ended up blowing up 8x10 photos from my trip to England and lightly nailing them onto the doors.

One of my other favorites bargain finds is this wine rack I found at a garage sale for $5:

The wine rack was originally from Crate & Barrel and had a scratch on the brown wood on top, so my brother-in-law sanded it down and spray painted it black for me. I love it.

If you're a fan of living inexpensively (or if you're not a fan but you just have to...), I am telling you...GO TO GARAGE SALES!!! You have no idea what you could find. I love finding something old and turning it into something new. I love telling people about my great deals, because too often people spend way too much on things that could be found for much, much less. And I'm more than willing to hunt for a bargain when I have the opportunity.

However, my new couches are not so much one of these bargain finds. But they're worth every penny spent. I love these things. I haven't slept in my bed since they arrived this past Monday. There are basically 3 massive chaises and an ottoman, all shaped like jigsaw puzzle pieces, that fit together in various ways as a sectional. I'm still deciding on accent colors...I'm thinking yellow and green or turquoise...but that could change. I just like bright colors. Anyway, here are pictures...but you won't get the true feel until you see them for yourself. I now have plenty of places for people to sleep over! I can put all 4 pieces together and it's basically like sleeping on a king size bed. So come on over!!!

Living & Leaving Boldly

I enjoy listening to the podcasted sermons from Southland Christian Church in Lexington, KY. For some reason, the preaching of Jon Weece seems to communicate to me in a way that few other preachers can, and since I can't make a 6 hour commute to Lexington weekly for church, I subscribe to the podcast on iTunes. This morning I listened to the last sermon in a series called "One Month to Live" and the sermon was about "Leaving Boldly" from one of the other teaching pastors, Dan Hamel.

He shared this quote from Greg Lavoy, who calls this "The Common Cold of the Soul":

"We get so consumed and confused with all that is going on in life that we live in such a way where sinful patterns never get confronted and changed, abilities and gifts never get cultivated and deployed, until weeks become months, months turn into years, and one day you're looking back on a life of heartfelt conversations you never had, great prayers you never prayed, exhilarating risks you never took, sacrificial gifts you never offered, and lives you never touched. And you're sitting there in your recliner, with a shriveled soul and forgotten dreams, and you realize there is a world of desperate need and a great God calling you to be a part of something bigger than yourself."

He shared that we often lose sight of just how desperately Jesus desires to be a part of our daily life. That is so unfortunately evident in my life. I don't realize that Jesus wants to be a part of my day until it's too late. When I've done things my own way, and I've had to learn that my way is probably not the best, I then decide to come to Jesus with whatever situation I find myself in.

Life could be lived so much more fully. When we live life in mediocrity, not taking any risks, not dreaming big dreams, and not living with any purpose, or on purpose, for that matter, we're lessening how great God's glory could be in our lives. Irenaeus, an early church father from about 202 A.D. said this: "The glory of God is man fully alive." Dan reworded it in this way: "God's glory in your life shines the brightest when you live life to its fullest. When we settle for less, and we play it safe, and we're satisfied with a mediocre life and we always dream bland, colorless dreams, we're not only chipping away at the vibrancy and vitality of our own lives and future, but we're diminishing God's glory. When we settle for less, we make God out to be less."

I was convicted, confronted, and challenged hearing this today. I don't want to live a life that makes God out to be less than who He is. If I lived in such a way that gave Him the greatest glory possible, it still wouldn't be enough to truly capture His greatness. But I should strive for that.

Dan went on to say this in his sermon: "When we chase after the full life that God has created us for...the more we chase after truly great things, the greater we make our God out to be."

I want my life to make God great.
I want to dream great, vibrant, colorful dreams.
I want to live with compassion that cares for people who could never repay me.
I want to take risks and take steps out of my selfish comfort zone.
I want to give sacrificially, not out of obligation, but out of real desire to give.
I want to be used in ways I might never accomplish on my own.
I want to have conversations about Jesus and love and relationships more than I have conversations about the latest person John Mayer is dating or the next fruit some celebrities decide to name their child.
I want to use my time, talents, and energy for others rather than letting them go to waste.
I want to offer grace to those who might not find it elsewhere and might not deserve it. (After all, none of us do...)
I want to ask God before I make decisions about my life.
I want to love genuinely and sincerely until everything around me falls away and people see only love.

How would you live? How will you live?

chili/chilly

I'm trying to embrace fall this year. I'm getting better.

I'm learning to appreciate the colors of the leaves more and more every day. I just wish it would last longer before this season leads to freezing cold.

The cold weather makes my soul feel cold.

I'm making my dad's chili today, which of course makes me think of him and miss him. And as it grows chillier and chillier outside, it leads to winter, which just reminds me of losing him. It's just such a long season.

I'm hoping this winter, as my family and I pass the 2 year anniversary of my dad being gone, our hearts will grow just a little warmer. And with each passing winter, I hope we'll feel the cold a little less.

For now, maybe I'll just share with you his simple chili recipe...which hopefully will warm me up tonight and in turn might warm you up someday. There's nothing difficult to it, and it's certainly easy enough for anyone to make. You can add/change things as desired. However, it makes me think of the one time he made it at the fire station and forgot to add the chili powder. So don't forget the chili powder. :)

Dad's Chili

1-1/2 lb. hamburger meat

diced green pepper & onion (optional...I leave these out)

1 large can Brooke Chili Beans (can add more if you want)

1 reg. size can diced tomatoes

1 full size can tomato juice

1 tsp. chili powder

1 tsp. salt

1 tsp. pepper

1 tsp. crushed red pepper (optional...I leave this out.)

3 Tbsp. sugar

Brown the meat with peppers and onion. Drain the grease out, and add the meat to the chili beans and diced tomatoes. Pour in the can of tomato juice. Add chili powder, salt, pepper, red pepper. Let simmer until it starts to boil, and add about 3 Tbsp. of sugar towards the end.

Enjoy!

Goat hair curtains & an empty house?

God had specific requirements for how the Tabernacle was to be built. Down to the last details: measurements, colors, arrangements, decorative adornments... God was a builder. He IS a builder, I should say. And He wants things done just the right way.


Take, for example, Exodus 26:3-6:

Join five of the curtains together, and do the same with the other five. Make loops of blue material along the edge of the end curtain in one set, and do the same with the other end curtain in the other set. Make fifty loops on one curtain and fifty loops on the end curtain of the other set, with the loops opposite each other. Then make fifty gold clasps and use them to fasten the curtains together so that the tabernacle is a unit.


And this is just the beginning of the details.


If I were receiving the instructions, I'd probably scrap it and give up. I get frustrated enough just trying to sew a button onto a shirt or fix a seam correctly. Imagine how hard it might be to make those fifty loops! And the time it would take to melt gold to make some kind of clasps to fasten those curtains together! By the time I was done, I'd probably be old and gray.


Oh, but it gets better. In just the next verse, God says this:

Make curtains of goat hair (GOAT HAIR?) for the tent over the tabernacle--eleven altogether. All eleven curtains are to be the same size--thirty cubits long and four cubits wide. Join five of the curtains together into one set and the other six into another set. Fold the sixth curtain double at the front of the tent. Make fifty loops along the edge of the end curtain in one set and also along the edge of the end curtain in the other set. Then make fifty bronze clasps and put them in the loops to fasten the tent together as a unit. As for the additional length of the tent curtains (just in case you were wondering, Moses...) the half curtain that is left over is to hang down at the rear of the tabernacle.


OK, seriously, goat hair? How long would that take? I realize, within cultural context, that was probably a common practice--weaving goat hair together to make curtains. Even still, that had to be a daunting task. And then the folding? That could get frustrating trying to make sure they're folded exactly the same and with equal lengths on the appropriate sides. I have enough of a hard time folding a fitted sheet without just shoving it into the closet in a big ball!


I like plans with details. Don't get me wrong. I'd hate for God to just say, "Go build me a tabernacle. And make it nice." That would surely make me nervous. And God knows in this day and age, someone would go and stick one of those hideous red felt bows on it somewhere that people use on their front porches at Christmastime. Yuck.


But all of these details, with the twisting and the joining and the looping and the clasping, make me nervous. If I had been Moses, I'd have been insanely anxious about the whole task, afraid I'd screw up every little bit of it or have some measurement off somewhere. Let's face it-when you're building something to house the very presence of God, you want it to be perfect, right? I don't think I'd want to cut any corners on that job. I'm not sure I'd want the job to begin with.


But I missed something in all of those details. It's where God began. He didn't begin with the instructions for the tabernacle itself. His instructions were first for the Ark of the Covenant, which was the representation of the covenant God made with His people. It was the basis, the foundation, the reason for their journey and relationship with Him. It was the center and the starting point.


He then moved to the instructions for the table, the lampstand, the tabernacle itself, the altar for burnt offerings, the courtyard outside the tabernacle, oil for the lampstand, and the priestly garments. He started at the heart of it all and worked His way outward. I think He was onto something there...


There's something about our hearts that are similar to the Ark, and our bodies like the tabernacle. Our hearts are the center, the core of our being. So why, when we're building our lives, do we so often start by putting the curtains up around the tabernacle when the Ark of the Covenant has yet to be given a home? Why do we dress up the outer parts of ourselves, ignoring the fact that the inside is empty? It's like spending all the money, time, and energy you have to build a beautiful, brand new house, but once it's built you've got nothing to put inside. It's just a house. Not a home. It's just for looks, for people to drive by and think "Wow, they must really be living it up!" while inside you're sitting on your hardwood floors, bored and broke, and probably a little bit remorseful.


We do the same with our bodies, dressing ourselves to appear one way when inside we may feel completely different. It is always the case with girls. Every girl knows what clothes she puts on in the mornings, but there's more to it than that. You know who you're going to see that day, where you might go, what kind of situations may occur. There is an entire thought process. And yet while we care so much about the outside of our bodies, many often ignore what's going on inside our hearts.


I am just as guilty as the next person.


The girls in my spiritual formation group (SFG) at Lincoln and I are reading through Dallas Willard's Renovation of Character. It's a re-written version of his previous book, Renovation of the Heart, which is a little more lengthy and wordier. (Is wordier even a word? I've used it twice today...I should find out.) I had already read Renovation of the Heart for the one Seminary class I took in 2005 called Shaping the Heart of a Leader. It was a great class and a great read. Reading the second version with the girls is making me realize how often I may consider the heart or read about my character, but how often am I carefully building a place for the presence of God within me?


I'm guilty of not making much time to read my Bible and to sit in silence and to just talk to God. I fill my time with TV shows and facebook and I drown out the silence with songs and more songs. Sometimes even worshipful songs that I sing out loud, but my heart isn't singing in tune with my voice. I catch myself doing this too often.


I need to keep myself in check. I need to keep my heart in tune. I don't want to ever live in an empty house. (Oddly, I write this from my living room floor that is currently void of furniture as I wait for my new furniture to arrive...interesting thought...)


Do I care too much about the Courtyard and the priestly garments and not enough about the Ark? God doesn't want us to completely ignore the other pieces. He simply asks us to start with the heart. Start with the very place we began with Him, and then work our way out. When our heart is right, then we'll work out the other parts of our life. It doesn't mean they'll just "fall into place." It will still take work. There are still things to maintain and details to follow. We still need to take care of our bodies and relationships and keep clean homes and healthy families and work hard at what we do.


It's interesting how tonight as I was reading this scripture in Exodus, I didn't seem to notice the details until it came to the curtains in the tabernacle. Somehow I skipped right over the details concerning the Ark of the Covenant. I read them, but I didn't think much about them. I guess sometimes that's how it is with my heart. I read about and think about changing it, but I don't really do much with the words on the page. Do I just pass over those instructions and go on toward building something I can see on the outside?


My mind is flooding with other scriptures right now about the Tabernacle, the Holy Place and the Most Holy Place, and how the veil was torn, and the words of the Shaun Groves song I always love, Welcome Home. (Sidenote: Read this article for more of the story behind the song.) There is so much correlation between the Ark and the Tabernacle with the Heart and the Home. Is the home really where the heart is? Or are we living in empty houses?

addiction confession

Warning: this post has no life-alteringly-meaningful content whatsoever.
I have a confession to make...

I'm slightly addicted to watching One Tree Hill.

I got hooked at the end of last season (season 5?) and have been watching since then, but because I never watched the first 5 seasons I'm just now catching up. I just finished the last disc of Season 2 tonight. I even found myself crying when Peyton had to say goodbye to Jake when he left to go get Jenny. Why is life so hard? And why can't Nathan and Haley just work things out? (Obviously I know they do later on in their TV character life...) And Dan Scott just never seems to stop. And why can't Lucas Scott exist in my life for real and be in love with me?

On a different note, here's another thing I'm addicted to:

Pizzelles.

Have you ever had these things? They're like thin, crispy, waffle-y cookies. Before I ever knew what they were called, I think I just called them doilies. I'm not even sure where I had them for the first time, but I do know this: I found them last year at Aldi and was ecstatic. Then once on accident I bought the Anise flavored ones, which were disgusting. So yesterday when I saw them again at Aldi (they must be seasonal? I have no idea why...) I was again ecstatic. And I made sure to buy the vanilla flavored ones rather than Anise.

And for some reason, at 1:09 AM I felt the need to share these two very important things with the world.

I love blogs. :)

music notes

Have any of you ever paid $15 to get into a venue with your friends where you spent the entire evening taking pictures of yourselves in varying combinations of people whilst some singer, to whom you're paying no attention, is playing and singing his/her heart out on stage?

yeah, me neither.

But every time I go to a Matt Wertz concert, I seem to be a magnet for all of the college students who came for a few drinks and social hour. I suppose I should clarify...every time I see Matt Wertz @ The Canopy Club in Urbana, this is what happens. And once at Augustana College as well. They all end up right in front of my friends and me, all chatty-cathies and picture-taking and flirting and what-not.

But the most frustrating part is that when Matt actually tried to share his heart about The Mocha Club and how $1 can give clean water to 1 African for an entire year, they weren't even paying attention. Grrr...

All of my concert commentary aside, I've been to more Matt Wertz shows than probably necessary, but I still enjoy a night of good music and friends, and feeling like I'm in a living room with just us and Matt.

On a different note, I just love discovering new music. I love anything new, but music is always my favorite thing to discover. And most of what I find is certainly not new per se, but it's usually new to me. And if you're a musician and I like your music, you can typically count on me to be a loyal fan.

Lately, here's what I've found that I really like:

• Lucy Schwartz--had some songs on the soundtrack for The Women. Really fun style...check her out: www.myspace.com/lucysong.
• Parker House and Theory--opened for Wertz tonight. I'll be honest. I didn't like it at first. I had no idea who these guys were and what language they were singing in the first couple songs b/c i couldn't understand the words, but after a couple songs I really liked it. Or maybe it was just the attractive drummer who actually did sing in Spanish and play the drums well. The songs on their myspace page don't do them justice. I thought recorded may be better than live, but I think the live performance is worth seeing. Based out of Boston, they've got a trendy rock, latino, funky vibe... Check them out: www.myspace.com/parkerhouseandtheory.
• Michelle Featherstone--heard one of her songs in the background of a wedding slideshow at a recent wedding and googled the lyrics to find out who she was. Really good stuff. www.myspace.com/michellefeatherstone
• Marc Broussard--not new to me. In fact, I've been listening to him for a few years now, but he has some great new stuff out. Love his scratchy, rough, raw, New Orleans voice...If you haven't been listening to him by now, you're missing out. www.myspace.com/marcbroussard.
• Again, certainly not new, but I really really love the Jonas Brothers song, "Lovebug." I'm a dork.
• I still love "Shut Up and Let Me Go" by the Ting Tings from the iTunes commercial. Makes me just want to dance around the room pretending I'm one of the dancing silhouettes on the iPod commercials.
• Lady Antebellum--loving their harmonies and fun style. I've really only heard 2 of their songs, the upbeat songs, and didn't spend much time listening to anything else on their page, but I'm a sucker for good harmony and non-depressing Country music that makes you want to sing your heart out and tap on the steering wheel.

I know there is more I've been listening to lately, but I love love love music recommendations, so tell me what's in your ears these days!

Cold Tangerines

As I'm digging through cutouts of magazines, photographs, and little snippets of things trying to find what truly inspires me and qualifies for inclusion on my fun little project--my inspiration board (see post below). It's appropriate, for multiple reasons, that I mention the book Cold Tangerines as one of the deserving things that have inspired me. Or maybe the author, Shauna Niequist, herself should be the one who has inspired me rather than just the book.

Shauna grew up the daughter of Bill Hybels, one of the founding pastors at Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, IL. Her life growing up was probably nothing ordinary at most times, living in the spotlight of being the daughter of a megachurch pastor and feeling a little expected to live up to some kind of standard as most preacher's kids do. She writes in her book about flying to Paris, France when she was in eighth grade--by herself--as if this is part of any normal childhood. She was used to traveling with her dad around the world, and so opportunities of the like were nothing out of the ordinary.

Despite her not-so-ordinary upbringing, Shauna is, deep down inside, still an ordinary person, just with extraordinary God-given talent to capture words like fireflies on a summer night, putting them in little jars to share their light. Cold Tangerines is a collection of essays written from her personal life experiences--from stories about college to stories about marriage, having a baby, working at a church, quitting working at a church, past struggles with weight, tragic loss, the joy of a bright red fall tree, jealousy, forgiveness, true community, and what it means to find joy and contentment in the little things in life. The stories in her book come to life and seem to be relevant with everyone who comes in contact with them, even though they are her very own experiences.

We've all been in these places in life...not the exact same stories, but the deep-down-underlying emotions and flaws that lie within us that Shauna so honestly lays out for us. She openly says that writing, for her, is like getting naked in front of people. And she truly bears her soul and all its parts in this book, and that's what is inspiring.

If you haven't read this book, you need to! This week is the one-year anniversary of its release, which is an exciting thing to celebrate for a writer! When you write and put things out there for others to read and critique, you are putting yourself up for criticism. But just as you open yourself up to criticism, you hopefully find that someone, somewhere, has gained something from what you've contributed to this world of ours.

I had the privilege of spending time with Shauna when we invited her to Lincoln for our annual High School Girls' Retreat called Awaken this past February. We spent some quality time talking about life and writing and the future and her son Henry and food, often over meals. Just last week, when I was in Grand Rapids for a college fair, I met up again with Shauna and her little boy, Henry, for breakfast at an adorable cafe, Marie Catrib's. It was refreshing to see her, like an old friend I'd known for years.

But I say all of this just to encourage you to pick up her book. It is an honest, raw, unique collection of essays that you'll find yourself cozying up to, reading in sections or all at once, feeling like you're having tea with your best friend, maybe even crying because it seems like she's got a window into the deepest parts of your character flaws. Her book is like comfort food and a security blanket. It reminds me that, yes, I'm normal. I'm not the only one who struggles with this and that, and I'm not crazy for being jealous of someone and wanting them to trip and fall. With a good amount of laughter included, Shauna captures real, honest, ordinary moments in life and helps you to find something extraordinary within.

So, as a somewhat distant friend of hers, I'm giving her a plug to anyone who may not have read this book yet. Also, check out her blog...it will give you even more insight into who she is and her most recent posts are from the experiences throughout the first year since Cold Tangerines was released. You'll also find that her current project is a book that will be called Bread and Wine, and she'll be focusing on the community that often happens among people in the presence of food.

Go get a copy of Cold Tangerines. You won't be disappointed. You might just want to buy a copy for everyone you know. They make great Christmas presents!

inspiration boards, pt. 1

A few of my friends and I have a group blog that we use to share thoughts with each other and no one else, and one of my friends mentioned something that came about on the Oprah episode where she hosted author of Eat, Pray, Love, Liz Gilbert. They talked about making "hopes and dreams" boards--creative collages of things that inspire, invoke happiness, and resonate with you. My best friend Amanda suggested that we do this, and I'm going to take it a step further...I want to encourage anyone who is reading this to make one.

I think it would be really cool to share pictures of our completed inspiration boards at some point in time. I googled them and found a few sites with pictures of boards, suggestions for making them, and one flickr group specifically for these pictures! For those of you who enjoy creating, organizing, and dreaming, this is something you'll love to do. I consider myself a creator, an organizer, and a dreamer, but it's something I need to challenge myself to more often. I tend to think about it, want to do it, but I don't put it into practice nearly as often as I should.

So I'm making an inspiration board. I'm going to gather clippings, artwork, colors, poems, quotes, beautiful photos, creative fonts, designs, travel destinations, song lyrics, and anything else I can find that makes me dream more. Anything that will make me smile just to look at and will inspire me to be more creative.

If you need some help finding some ideas or inspiration yourself, here are some sites:

Resources for Writers...

Simple Mom Blog/The Creative Family

Inspiration Boards blogspot...

Hope these help...if not, google it and see what you can find! But it's your own, so be creative! I'm looking forward to starting mine! I'll post pics of it when I'm done...that will be Part 2!

changes

So, I've decided that my blog needed an update.

After looking through tons of backgrounds and such, I decided most are way too busy and chose this one. I hope you like it!

Let me know how it looks...I always need second and third and fourth opinions on things.

i just have to ask...

This is coming right out of left field...but I just have to ask.

Is anyone with me in thinking that in Rihanna's song "Disturbia" it sounds like she's saying "Disturbula?"

(And these are the ridiculous thoughts that keep me up at night...)

This is the year...

Every year on my birthday, I say "This is going to be the year." I've noticed that I actually say this each birthday as well as when the New Year begins. Yesterday (the 21st) was my birthday, and once again I've decided that this year will be the year. The year for what? I'm not sure. But it's going to be a good year, I've decided.

I said farewell to being 25, and ironically, to summer. My birthday is officially the last day of summer. September 22nd is always the first official day of fall. It seems right.

While my age doesn't change a whole lot about me, I know that it does symbolize one more year of life for which I can be grateful. 26 years of growing into who I am. It's hard to believe how quickly time has gone by. It seems like just last week I was in college, and the week before that I was dancing my heart out in Streatorettes in high school, and the week before that I was that nerdy junior high girl who wanted to start her own "Babysitters Club," and not long before that I was a naive little preschooler playing on stilts made out of coffee cans at the ABC Nursery School.

And now, here I am. 26 years old. College graduate. Admissions Counselor. Traveler. Networker. Music-lover. Wannabe writer. Wannabe photographer. "Aunt Mandy." Single, twentysomething. Daughter, sister, friend. Indecisive. Creative. Anxious. Loyal. Curious. Explorer. Seeker. Believer. Follower of Jesus.

How many ways can I describe myself? It's difficult for me, because one-word phrases can't capture a lifetime of memories. The stories and memories of my life are my life. And for those, I am grateful. They define me. The ups and downs, my past and future, and right now. This is me. 26 years old, and I can't be anything other than grateful for who I am and striving to always become a better version of that.

So with that said, this is going to be the year. Goodbye 25, hello 26!

The Renewed Mind is the Key

OH yes, my friends...this is for real.
Please watch. You will be entertained.
http://www.theway.org/Current/Mar07/Mar07Flash4.htm

and the craziest day ever award goes to...

Today.

In Louisville. Right now about 230,000 people in Louisville are without power, and it's the strangest thing to drive through a city you're only semi-familiar with when stoplights and streetlights are not working. And then when you try to turn down a street but can't because there's a massive uprooted tree in the way, it gets just a little confusing. And we're still without power right now, might I add...thank you for laptops and "borrowed" wireless signals...

I'm in Louisville, KY this weekend and through Wed. morning for some college fairs, and I came for the few days prior to stay with my best friend Amanda and her husband Adam. We went to church this morning and when we came out, it was eerily windy--particles blowing in our eyes, branches falling off of trees, garbage cans being knocked over--and then we started driving down the streets. Had no idea it was quite as bad as it was...the wind was up to 73 mph and I saw several massive trees completely uprooted, at least 3 different places where very large tree branches fell on top of cars, and countless roads blocked by giant tree limbs and entire trees.

The strangest part about it was that there was not a single drop of rain. In fact, it was partially sunny outside, but just really windy. I've never seen anything like it. I've witnessed bad thunderstorms and seen the effects of some damaging tornadoes, but this was really different...

And now it feels very Armageddon-ish. No lights in many sections of town, but random areas have power. Every restaurant that has power is crowded, and ice machines are out everywhere for those filling up coolers to rescue the food in their freezers and refrigerators. I went to the gas station tonight after the youth group event @ Southeast and tried to get gas. They're running out at the few that have power, so after waiting for the drops to slowly pour out, about 20 minutes later, I had almost 3 gallons and was at $11.40. I quit. I'll get it tomorrow.

Anyway, check out these pictures. My friends Dawn & Brian (friends of Amanda & Adam's, actually, but now friends of mine as well...) took these pictures today after we left their house in the Highlands where there was a ton of damage.

p.s. sorry for the lack of paragraphs...for some reason blogger wouldn't space my paragraphs as i typed.

rain, rain, go away...

I just remembered the old Garbage song (circa 1995), "I'm only happy when it rains..."


I'm so not happy when it rains. Unless I have nowhere to be except curled up on my couch in sweatpants, a hoody, and with good movies and ice cream and popcorn.


And I'm so not a fan of the end of summer. (I'm also so sounding like a valley girl today with the way I'm writing...) I go through this, write about this, every year when the seasons change, but I cannot say it enough. Summer is just too short. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy fall and the wonderful things that autumn brings. But when Autumn slides in without giving Summer a fair goodbye, I'm not extremely happy about it. Last week, Lindsey and I made a list of the 10 (which became 12) things that are good about fall to remember on days when I miss summer. It's hanging in my office on a pink Post-it, which makes it official. Here is our list:

• Chili (preferably my dad's recipe) and homemade soups
• Scarves
• Hoodies
• Hot apple cider and caramel apples
• Bonfires (even though I never really go to any...)
• Pumpkin flavored things...(pumpkin pie, pumpkin pie blizzards, my mom's pumpkin bars, pumpkin spice lattes & frappuccinos, etc.)
• Good candle smells (particularly Autumn Walk by Gold Canyon...)
• It's almost time for Christmas music
• End of summer sales
• Non-frizzy hair
• Colored leaves
• Sheri's good food (which is year-round, really...)

These things get me through the fall, but they certainly don't get me through the long winters of central Illinois. I might enjoy fall much more if it led to something better, but I always know what's coming next...dreadful cold. I think some year I'll fly south with the birds.

I'm trying to learn to enjoy this season, but with the rain today it's hard to. Technically (and ironically?) the last day of summer is on my birthday (the 21st...hint, hint), but it feels a whole lot like fall right now. I can smell it in the air...it's earthy and the breezes are crisp and less humid. It's cooler, darker, and the evening sunsets paint the sky with warmer shades of gold and pink and purple and blue. Right now, those sunsets are my hope for autumn.

I hope the rain will stop and the sun will rise, shine, and set...reminding me again that there really is beauty in the fall.

What do you like about fall? I need some more reminders!

laughing with Evan

I have to share this absolutely adorable video my mom recorded on her camera of me and Evan laughing. He was hitting me with the couch cushion and I'd get him back, and he obviously thought it was the funniest thing ever. And sorry it's sideways...couldn't figure out how to rotate it. :(

Just tilt your head. It'll be funny. And people will laugh at you. :)

I've witnessed a miracle...

OK, so it's not quite a miracle, but let me tell you a story...

About 3 months ago, while I was at work, I received a text message from my favorite (and only) brother-in-law David, who was running the show at their garage sale and trying to clear his house of all of the unnecessary things. I had been keeping my bike at their house for quite some time, and I hadn't used it in a really long time. So David texted me asking what I wanted for my bike, because he was getting rid of it.

Now, I got that bike when I turned 9 I'm pretty sure...I can vividly remember that birthday quite well. I was standing in our front yard, and my parents were about to surprise me with my birthday present, and when we went outside, there was a hot air balloon in the sky not too far from our house. I got really excited, thinking that was my present, and then they wheeled my bike out from the garage. Needless to say, I wasn't as excited about the bike, but I was still happy about it. It's a lovely grayish Huffy mountain bike with purple and orange writing on it, and it's certainly not a high-quality bike by any means.

So when David wanted to sell my bike, I was a little torn. Sure, I hadn't ridden it in months, if not years, but I didn't quite want to part with it. Hesitant to rescue my bike, I went ahead and let him mark it and put it out there, and surely it sold for about $15 or so to some lucky person.

About a week and a half ago, I was going with David & Cory and the kiddos to the pool in Bloomington/Normal, and as we rounded a curve in the road near their house I saw something in the ditch that sure resembled my beloved bike. It definitely looked pretty similar. I could see the purple writing...

On our way back from the pool, it was still there. David pulled over the car and got out to check it out, and sure enough, it was MY EXACT BIKE! We're talking, Huffy mountain bike made in like 1990, folks...it's not something you find just any day. Not a collectible, but probably slightly difficult to find the exact same bike these days. Miraculously, there was nothing wrong with it except that the chain had just fallen off, so David threw it over the ditch so no one else would see it near the road. When we got back to their house (only about a block away from there), I walked over and regained my old bike!!!

I think God dropped it in the ditch for me to find...I'm pretty much ecstatic about it.

And there you have it, friends...a miracle found in a ditch.

because it's late...

Since my adorable nephew has suddenly awakened from his sleep and is chattering in his crib keeping me awake, I figured I'd spout out some random information.

1. I think I kind of like the Jonas Brothers. I hate to admit it. But there. I said it.

2. I miss the beach. But this week's weather in Illinois has been amazing. Like, Southern California amazing. Can we please keep it?

3. I can feel fall coming. I really can. I can smell it in the air and feel it in the cool mornings and crisp nights.

4. I have a severe problem with finishing books. I want to start reading new books all the time, but I can't seem to finish them. I'm still working on several right now, including "Eat, Pray, Love" which I'll also post more blogs about, as well as "Bird by Bird: Some Thoughts on Writing" (Anne Lamott), and a few others I've picked up here and there but don't plan on reading consistently or in order.

5. I'm NOT afraid to admit that I'm still anxious to see the 2nd Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movie.

6. I am tired of meetings.

7. I'm learning patience these days in a new way I didn't realize I had in me. I'm kinda liking it. I'm going along for the ride and just enjoying it.

8. My friend Sarah made THE BEST MEAL last night at her apartment...it is now my favorite. Mediterranean Puff Pastry Chicken. (recipe is on www.allrecipes.com) A-MA-ZI-NG. Just imagine a flaky, rectangular puff pastry crust, browned just right and very crispy, and as you poke your fork into it you find chicken tenderloin marinated in pesto sauce, garlic, and stuffed inside with red peppers, spinach, more pesto, and feta cheese (my FAVORITE!). I'm sold on pretty much anything with feta in it. I'm still thinking about this meal today.

9. Has anyone seen that commercial with the Burger King guys dressed up outside of a Subway--one dressed as a grilled burger and the other as a chicken sandwich? And one of them kicks the air...hilarious. My sister and I actually rewound that on DVR one night to laugh at it again. It's not funny unless you see it. hm...

10. I ran 2 miles this week. That's like a freaking milestone for me. Usually one mile is hard enough, and somehow I just kept on pushing through...i'm hoping to keep that up, but we'll see.

11. I love my friends. Seriously, I have awesome friends. It's just overwhelming sometimes how many really great people are in my life. And in the words of one of the BCG's, "If I wasn't one of us, I'd want to be one of us..."

12. Last weekend I attended Christie & Caleb Wright's wedding, which was one of my favorite weddings as of late. Two of the most beautiful people, inside and out, and their love is simply beautiful. I love when there are just good marriages that you feel good about. So looking forward to seeing their marriage grow...and such a fun time dancing!

13. Red Vines make really good drumsticks on the steering wheel when you're driving. I'm just sayin'...

OK, well, hoping Evan is finally falling asleep, but he's still whining in there like "Hey! Someone come and get me!" and it takes everything in me as Aunt Mandy not to come in and try to rock him back to sleep. But tonight, he's not rockable. He's a squirmy worm tonight and you just have to let him whine and cry himself to sleep, because he's restless. So I think he's beginning to calm down, and Mimi (my mom) is asleep on the couch, and I think I'm going to head to bed.

once again, more pictures...

I couldn't seem to get all of the pictures uploaded yesterday, so here are some more. All of them are on my facebook, but obviously not everyone has access to that. So here are some more :)

And by the way, this one below cracks me up. My mom and I watched this pelican walking around in the water forever, and I couldn't figure out how he was doing it, so I called him the Jesus pelican.

more Florida pics (there are plenty...)

I only put a few pics in the post below from Florida, so here are a few more just in case you want to revel in the beauty that is the ocean with me some more. :)