Eat, Pray, Love... (Part 1)

I'm borrowing a copy of a friend's book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, and I haven't made it very far in yet. What I have read, as of now, has been magical. She has an incredible ability to make you laugh in the midst of words that make you feel the depth of her emotions, dark or light as her life may be at that moment in time. If you have no idea what the book is about, it's her journey in life to the three I's: Italy, India, and Indonesia, where she seems to master the 3 components of the title of the book. (Sidenote: keep in mind, she is not necessarily a "Christian" so don't take her views on prayer or God as my point of view, or the right point of view, for that matter...just take what you can from it. She's slightly New-Age-y...but I enjoy reading her perspective.)

I'm in the first section of the book in which she's writing about life in Italy. Her love for the Italian language and for gelato is fascinating. (Sidenote: I'll state that if I could simply travel and eat food, I would have an awful lot to write about too. Any takers? Reading this book is dangerous for me...makes me want to pick up and move to a faraway place, eat pastries and gelato and sit in cafes and write and learn a new language in a place where you're totally anonymous. But that's besides the point...)

One thing that I particularly loved in what I read last night was her writing about her friend, Luca Spaghetti, who taught her about the beauty of doing nothing. Italians have mastered this skill. We, Americans, seem to have botched the whole idea. We pay for so many kinds of entertainment, but in being entertained, are we even enjoying it? Is it possible to find pleasure in doing nothing?

This is something I've struggled with for a long time, and I'm learning this about myself daily. I get bored very easily. I get bored at work if I'm not constantly doing something. I get bored at home if I don't have something to do. I get bored while running, while driving, while doing 3000 things at once...I'm not sure how my parents kept me entertained when I was younger, but I probably complained and whined the words, "I'm bored!" an awful lot. Living by myself tends to get boring after awhile, so I fill the empty space and time with plenty of shows on the Food Network, many episodes of Tori & Dean on Oxygen, and of course my weekly obsession of So You Think You Can Dance. Even watching TV isn't enough for me, but in the midst of that I can often be found doing sudoku puzzles, reading a book during commercials, playing spider solitaire, doing crunches, folding laundry, putting dishes away, and so on. Of course there are times when I'm completely lazy and I do nothing at all, but it's typically not my state. And when it is, I'm bored.

I have to fill my time with something. If I'm not traveling somewhere on a weekend, I'm bored. If I have a weekend or some time without a single plan, I'll go somewhere and find something to do, even if it's by myself. I just don't enjoy sitting around my apartment and doing the same things over and over again. I get bored.

So this art of finding pleasure in doing nothing is something I need to learn from Elizabeth Gilbert and her friend Luca Spaghetti and the rest of Italian culture. It's a difficult thing to sit in silence and practice doing nothing and actually enjoy it. I have my days, or moments, when I can simply sit and listen to the rainfall from my windowsill or watch the sun set on the horizon or sit on a porch and enjoy the peace of a summer evening. I just want to learn to have more.

Tonight, I think I'll make it my goal to go sit. And just sit. I think I'll go for a run, which then turns into walking, and then stop in the park and just sit. I'll turn my music off on my earphones and just listen to the silence. There is much to be said about moments of silence and how prayerful they can actually be. I so often think that prayer is me doing all the talking, and that's all wrong. God probably has shouted at me time and again, "Turn off the TV! Take off your headphones! Turn off your iTunes! Stop doing laundry, dishes, sudoku, or whatever you're doing! Stop doing! Just listen..." (hm...flashback to the scene of Mary & Martha...)

Take a moment yourself, or an hour, or however much time you have, to enjoy doing nothing. I'm going to try...

the JM report...

This weekend we semi-surprised my best friend Amanda with tickets to see John Mayer in Indianapolis as a part of her bachelorette party weekend, and it was an absolute blast. First of all, the Verizon Wireless Music Center in Noblesville is a great venue. Loved having lawn tickets, laying on a blanket, and feeling much freer than in the seating area. Besides, John himself gave the lawn area props for taking a risk on the weather...which turned out to be beautiful.

Brett Dennen was the first opener, and I had heard a few of his songs that I have on iTunes already, so I was excited to hear him live. Despite resembling a leprechaun, he sounded really great live. He has a Jack Johnson-ish sound, but a really unique voice sets him apart from a lot of artists.

Colbie Caillat was the next opener, and I already love her music no matter what. I had seen her perform on a few talk shows on TV and expected the performance she gave. I love her entire album, her voice, her sound, everything, but the girl doesn't have much stage presence at all. I don't blame her, because there isn't much you can add to her performance. She just fits much better in a coffee-shop setting or a smaller venue, but her performance leaves a little to be desired. I still love her though. And listening to her music while watching the summer sunset on the horizon made me feel like I was in southern California again...

John Mayer...always great. It was my third time seeing him live, and it was probably my favorite just because of the outdoor setting and being able to move around or sit down or lay down on the blanket or whatever we wanted during the show. Songs I know he played for sure (in no particular order):

• opened with Good Love is On the Way
• Vultures
• Belief
• Waiting on the World to Change
• No Such Thing
• Stop This Train
• Gravity
• Why Georgia
• Clarity (I think?...)
• Bigger Than My Body
• Stitched Up (song he wrote w/ Herbie Hancock)
• Say (encore)

Covers he did:

• "Free Fallin" --which sounded even better than Tom Petty himself...
• "Mercy" by Duffy--great bluesy rendition of this and continued w/ amazing jam session...love the blues.
• "No One" by Alicia Keys--took me a minute to figure out which song it was at first b/c he has the ability to make everything sound like it's his own. So good.

No matter what song JM sings, it sounds incredible live. He never sounds the same twice. It never sounds exactly like the recorded version, but I love when artists do that well. Sometimes it's annoying, but for some reason with him it's not.

And I just have to say that I love the wisdom he has in his lyrics. Continuum is probably one of the best albums of all time, and the lyrics are so solid throughout. The other night as he was playing "Belief" I said to Katie next to me "This should be the song of the church!"

We're never gonna win the world, we're never gonna stop the war. We're never gonna beat this if belief is what we're fighting for.

I know the song is about war, but I had a spiritual moment that night realizing that if all the world thinks "belief" in Christ is enough, they are missing out. If all we're fighting for is simply "belief" we're missing out on so much more...

So in the midst of the concert I had a little moment, but JM's lyrics always make me see something new. I love it. He closed with an encore of the song "Say"...which I cannot get enough of.

And here are some fun pictures from our night:

me and my BFF Amanda!!!

Katie, Abbie, and I making our best John Mayer singing facesAmanda and Melissa making their best John Mayer singing faces...Um, yeah we reverted to Jr. High and layed down on the ground to take a circle picture of our faces ;)Super excited about a song...playing guitar on each other's legs...haha
Oh, and P.S. for anyone wondering if Jennifer Aniston was there...I did not see her, but I do know she was there somewhere. I happened to go to H&M on Sunday and had a conversation with the guy at the cash register who happened to eat dinner with them both at The Grill in Indy on Friday night, the 4th of July. His friend managed the restaurant and they came in and decided to all hang out. So yes, she was there...Johniston was in Indy...

sights and stuff from Hollywood...

So, to share some crazy, funny, or fun sights or things from Hollywood... here is some of what I saw:

• Guy walking out of a Rite-Aid on a Sunday morning in a hospital gown complete with booties, pants, gown tied in the back, and bracelet. Not sure where he escaped from, but apparently he needed something at Rite-Aid...

• Jose Canseco came in to eat @ Barney's Beanery in West Hollywood with his brother Ozzie (wearing what appeared to be a Bedazzled black t-shirt...) and their daughters (who appeared to have silicone lips at the age of 12)...they sat right in front and didn't seem to mind when people came up to ask for autographs and such.

• While playing pool, my friend Shannon didn't realize Jose was actually right behind her, and they sort of "danced" back and forth as he tried to get around her...she had no clue he was right there...I wish I had that on tape!

• Saw Mila Kunis (she plays Jackie on "That '70s Show" and is on the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall)...though she looked pretty trashed...

• Got to see old friends like Lindsay Heston & Erinn McVey from LCC and Justin Pouk from High School...fun times!

• While sitting at a great restaurant called Birds (with some amazing rotisserie chicken), we see the host RUN to the table behind us, only to tell some guy that his hair is ON FIRE from the candle on the table...the guy was clearly high or trashed or something b/c he had no idea...and didn't seem to care much. And the smell of burnt hair isn't so appetizing...

i heart CA

I heart California weather.

It is amazing here right now...Gorgeous days, peaceful & breezy nights, sunny mornings...

I'm in L.A. right now on the campus of UCLA for a camp called Ignite with the Jr./Sr. High kids from Central Christian Church in Las Vegas. There are about 600 of them here, and I'm having a blast getting to know them in little bits and pieces as I'm able to. I had forgotten how funny junior high kids really are, how awkward some home schooled kids can be, and how much high schoolers love to yell "woooo!!!" at every little thing at church camp. Back in the college days I used to do camps every summer as a rep for LCC, and in the past few years working for Admissions I've been privileged to do a few more weeks of conferences and such. I'm so thankful I get to spend this week w/ these kids hanging out and helping them to see that there's more to life than the little snapshot they often see.

It's only their second night here at camp and I love when they start realizing that being a Christian isn't just a show anymore. Some are still great at putting on the masks, but many of them are being introduced to Christ for the first time and many are reconnecting and choosing to grow deeper. I'm helping out w/ a small group of girls who are going to be sophomores in high school, and I can't believe how different each girl is from the next. These kids, having grown up in Vegas their entire lives, have such a different background than what I'm used to.

I love the diversity. It seems to be a rarity in the Midwest. I'm not talking about racial diversity, but differences in cultures, values, families, traditions, theologies. Even as I sat at The Coffee Bean in Westwood Village this afternoon I realized how we're all so different, yet we're still all the same. We look different on the outside, and we've all got such different beliefs, different lives, different upbringings. But we're all looking for purpose. We're all in the same boat looking for love and a reason to be alive and a hope for the future.

Praise God we have that in Christ. No matter what we look like, no matter what we do, how much we sin, He loves us all the same. No questions asked.

And so I'm loving more than the weather in California. I'm loving that my eyes are being opened to the bigger world around me and a love that crosses all boundaries, all differences, all separation. I knew that before, but I'm catching a clearer glimpse of it now.

HollyWOOD

Well, I'm headed for Hollywood tomorrow! This week I'll be out in L.A. for a youth conference called Ignite held at UCLA with all of the junior high/senior high kids from Central Christian Church in Las Vegas. I'm pretty stoked to go hang out with the kids from their group and the fact that it's my job to do so is pretty awesome. I am thankful.

Looking forward to also catching up with Lindsay Heston who lives IN Hollywood, literally, and hanging out with her a bit before Ignite starts. If you don't know her, you probably should. I was in school with her at LCC and she moved out to Hollywood to pursue an acting career. She has had some minor roles and is getting ready to travel the world for a year to do missions work. Keep up with her in the future...I'm sure you'll see her on the big screen someday! She even has an imdb page...search for Lindsay Heston at www.imdb.com.

I have a lot left to do today...packing, a quick trip to Springfield, etc. Hopefully I'll be able to update from the west coast, but if not...I'll be in hollyWOOD, ya'll!

life is good.

My dad loved the shirts and hats and items with the brand "Life is Good" printed on them. Towards the end of his life, it became the theme of his life. Life is good. And we should cherish it. When God was in the process of creating, he labeled his creation as "good." On his last day of creating, He looked at everything He had made, all of it, and decided once again that it was good. This earth, the land, the water, the sky, the air, the plants & animals, and most of all, living, breathing human beings.

Life.

It was good.

It is good.

I have been noticing a few simple things in my life lately that are just plain good. And while they're small, insignificant things, I don't recognize their goodness nearly enough. I always see the things I want to change, the negatives, the "what ifs" and "what could bes" and just don't spend time thanking God for all that is good in this life. As Oprah-esque as it is, I am enjoying these simple things and smiling when I see them or think of them. These are on my list, in no particular order:

• fresh lemons in my kitchen in a red antique-ish enamelware pot. I just smile every time I look at it. I don't know why. They just make me happy.
• And on that note, making fresh lemonade/lemon shake-ups with the lemons...
• sitting in my windowsill in the evenings...uncomfortable as it is, I love it.
• the sunshine on my back through my office window in the mornings at work
• big, juicy, fresh strawberries...by themselves, with sugar, made into pies, over ice cream, in fruit dip, blended in smoothies, any way they're prepared...love them. They are a staple.
• sitting outside and doing absolutely nothing...I wish I had a front porch so I could enjoy this more, but I could sit outside for hours on end in the summertime. Evenings are just perfect.
• the smells of freshly cut grass...I try to inhale as much as possible whenever I smell grass on my walks or while I'm running. If I could bottle it up, I would. I've thought about writing the Gap to see if they'll bring back the old Grass perfume just for me.
• weddings...I just love them. Summer is just wedding season. And this year, my best friend Amanda is getting married, and my good friend Steph just got married this past Friday. Both of them are so in love, and I love seeing their futures unfold with this exciting new part of life.
• Sunny mornings. I rarely enjoy mornings, but in the summertime, it's just different. It doesn't mean I wake up any easier, but once I am up and outside, I love it. I want to create more time to just sit, breathe in, and enjoy it while I can.

While there are dozens of other things I could share, I'll stick to this for now.

Looking over your life, what simple things would you say are just plain "good" right now?

Once again...some humor for your day.

crazy flower yard

Just for your viewing pleasure, I wanted to share this lovely front yard of a random house in town whose yard looks like it vomited up these purple flowers. I find it hilarious every time I drive by.

(Sorry for the extremely poor picture quality...I did a drive-by w/ my cell phone.)

a World on Fire

I had never seen this video until today, and when I watched it, I was in awe. It never ceases to amaze me how much we spend on useless things and how little it costs to help a world in need. I know I tend to talk about this a lot, and while it might feel like a guilt trip for some of you, I don't really mind. I'd rather make you feel guilty than not make a difference in the world. So if my little words can somehow offer motivation or influence in someone else's decision to save a life, then I'm thankful.

So if you can, just take a second and consider what you could give up to help someone.

• If you're interested in starting out at $7/month, join the Mocha Club. It's a great club through an organization called African Leadership that helps provide clean water, food, education, business training, ministerial training, orphanages, and many other things for people around Africa.
• Maybe you want to take it a step further...$30/month can help sponsor one of the precious little kids I met in Romania through Forget Me Not Ministries. I'd be glad to introduce you to one of the kiddos there who still need more sponsors so that they can take in more than 6 gypsy kids at the Isaiah Center.
• Countless organizations like Compassion and WorldVision exist in a similar way where you can pay $32/month and provide for basic needs, education, and Bible school for kids around the world.

Just think about it. I made decisions about these things in just a moment, and I probably could give up buying a shirt or two a month to sponsor yet another child.

So, guilt trip or not, I'm just sharing my convictions with the world (or the 3 people who might read this) in hopes that someone somewhere might also decide to help change the world.

the waiting room

You know what it's like whenever you have an appointment of any kind. It doesn't matter if you show up early, on time, or late...you always have to wait. I've spent my fair share of time in doctors' offices, dentist offices, hospitals, waiting for an oil change, appointments on school visits, and other times when I have to wait. You wait for your food at a restaurant after it's ordered; you wait for a ride to pick you up; you wait for the train or subway; you wait for a package in the mail; you wait for an answer to a question; you wait for results from a test; you wait for the phone to ring.

Waiting rooms can be some of the quietest places on earth. Sometimes it's silent in there and you feel strange just coughing or scratching your arm or crossing your legs, because you might disturb the silence that everyone seems to be so awkwardly accustomed to. So you flip through a magazine that is probably from February of 2005 and has been touched by all kinds of hands with germs, or you tap tap tap your fingers on the chair to the annoying Chris Brown song that's in your head because you just heard it 4 times in the car on the way there, or you text anyone and everyone in your address book on your phone just to say hi because you're bored. If you run out of things to do, you balance your checkbook (quietly), reposition yourself in your seat, and twirl your hair (if you're a girl) or clean out your fingernails.

Sometimes waiting rooms are some of the noisiest places on earth. There are babies crying around you, kids throwing temper tantrums, elderly people complaining about how long they have to wait (I don't blame them...they don't have much time!), TV screens with CNN running the latest news (or at my dermatologists' office, a video advertising their own services including everything from laser surgery to breast reduction...which is awkward to watch in a room filled with people), or teenagers with their iPods blasting so loudly that you can hear it across the room. You can hear the conversations between the people behind the desk nonchalantly discussing what they did last weekend, and you can subtly hear the LiteRock radio station playing in the background that is drowned out by everyone who is sharing their entire cell phone conversation with you...including the person on the other end.

...and all you want to hear is your name being called.

And then, sometimes, your name is called, and you're escorted into yet another waiting room. You sit, now in complete solitude, wondering when the door will open next and who it will be and how long until you'll finally be back outside again to breathe in the fresh air smell instead of the oh-so-common waiting room smell.

...all you want are answers.
...or to ask more questions.
...or to find out results.
...or to know what's next.

I find myself so often in the waiting room of life. Sometimes it's quiet around me and I don't want to make a move, afraid that I'll disturb the peaceful sound of life going smoothly. Sometimes I'm bored out of my mind and just want to move on to whatever is next. And in those times it's fairly easy to hear a voice calling my name. Sometimes it's busy and fun and noisy and I find myself adjusting to that...raising the volume of whatever is in my ears with my own speed of life. I rush around from one thing to the next and drive as fast as I can to get somewhere...only to hurry up and wait once more. And in those times, it's usually difficult to hear a voice calling my name.

I've found that being in the waiting room is just a part of following Christ. If I make a move without following His lead, I'll probably regret it. If I wait for His lead, I'll find out that it's all worth the wait. I don't know what I'm waiting for right now, but I feel like I'm in a waiting room. I'm watching, observing, listening, looking, and trying to battle the virtue of patience. I don't know what's next for me in life, but I know no matter what, it will be worth the wait. I know that God's timing is always better for me than my own, and sometimes that's just easier to say to others than to believe for yourself. I'm trying to enjoy this time of waiting...to see what it reveals, to find out what doors open, to see what relationships will come, to see what heart changes may come, to find out what I'll be doing 5 years from now, to enjoy this time in life. The "twentysomethings" are such a bittersweet time. I love it, yet I hate it, because it always leaves me wondering what's next. But I've always loved surprises, so I'm looking forward to being surprised.

So I'll sit...and I'll wait...
both patiently and impatiently.

But I refuse to miss out on life just because I'm waiting for what's next. So I'm challenging myself to learn to live fully, even as I wait.

Are you waiting for anything? What are you waiting for?

thoughts on writing and then some pop culture ranting...

My heart has been heavy lately with so many things that I'd love to write about, but I just don't feel like sharing them with the world. I know that people read this from literally around the world, but I have no idea who, why, or how. But I love that somehow God uses things like blogs, despite the funny name they've been given, to connect people's hearts. Complete strangers can read the thoughts of someone else and find themselves laughing, crying, or just thinking alongside someone else. I think that's just a beautiful thing, and that's why I continue to write on this...some things nonsensical and whimsical and pointless and some things I share are teachable moments I've experienced in my own life. No matter what I'm writing about, I love the expression because sometimes writing just lets me feel a little bit more like myself.

(warning: mental whip-lash...)

But then there are moments like right now when I just have to unload all of my nonsensical thoughts on pop culture just because I can. And right now I feel like I have to get these little tidbits off my mind:

a) If I hear Chris Brown's song "With You" one more time I might actually puke. That may be an exaggeration, but it may actually happen. The song is stuck in my head right now and I'm going insane, because I can't even understand the words. just a "hey little shawty" and a "withyouwithyouwithyouwithyouwithyou" every now and again. And might I add to this list of songs I might puke if i hear again the following: Usher's "Love in this Club" and Ray J's "Sexy Can I"? Oh, and Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body" but keep reading for more thoughts on her...

b) The entertainment world must be out of stuff to talk about, because I think I heard at least 5 times the other day that Jordin Sparks had to cancel on the rest of her tour due to her vocal cord something or other...WE KNOW ALREADY!

c) I'm still not really sick of singing the echo parts on Flo-Rida's song "Low." In fact, my 5-year-old niece called me last night singing it...which may not be a good thing?

d) Mariah Carey needs to stop making music. Why? Because it's all awful. Sure the girl's got range, but her songs need serious help. Maybe "someday...hey hey..."

e) Re: American Idol. Every Thursday morning it seems America is mystified by the results of the prior night's show. At this point America, who really cares? By now we should all know that every one of these people is going to be offered some kind of record deal, and haven't we learned our lesson that it has nothing to do with their most recent performance? So honestly? I don't care who wins. They're all good at this point. I can pick favorites, but it just doesn't matter unless I feel like texting or calling until my fingers fall off. But there's no reason to get upset about it.

f) I'm completely intrigued by the people in Eldorado, TX and how their cult works and how these ladies are brainwashed. I really wish I could help them somehow...they need some serious truth spoken into their lives, because they've been lied to for way too long.

g) I'm so happy that Brothers & Sisters is back. I feel like it's a family reunion with me and the Walker family.

h) I need to find something to do with my life. I clearly watch too much TV and listen to the radio way too much. Please someone help me find something better to do?

Whew! OK, I feel better now...

life lessons

It is amazing the lessons we learn about life from its very counterpart--death.

Sweet little Regan Faith Mills passed away this week, and at the oh-so-young age of only 6 years old, Regan was tougher than I will ever be. Without using words or gestures, Regan's life speaks volumes to what God can do in a life. She was a living miracle in the short life she lived, and she taught many people how to wait and hope and trust and listen and be content and just BE (see her momma's blog for more on that...).

Last night was her visitation and today was the funeral, which were both difficult times. My heart aches for my dear friends (and often, mentors) Brian and Chantell, whose hearts are deeply hurting even though they've known this day would someday come. No matter if death is expected or sudden, it is never an easy thing. And in these days when everyone is around, it's not easy, but it is certainly easier to handle your pain when there are people there to share it.

In the line last night Chantell and I shared some tears and words that have remained in my mind...she said that she had been thinking of me this week since I've been through the loss of my dad over a year ago, and we briefly talked about how much different it is to be on the receiving end of the hugs and words in the visitation line. It's easy to go through a line and show love and support for people but then be able to go back home to a normal life. We both said, "I wish I could be one of those people."

But the truth is, life is never the same after you lose someone close to you. Sometimes it just feels lonely, and there is nothing that anyone can do about it. No one can ever fill the void of the person who is missing. Jesus is certainly there to bring hope and comfort, and often people around you can do the same, but the void will always be there, because it's supposed to be there. That person had a specific role in God's purpose in his or her life, and only he or she was meant to fill it. And when they're gone, no one else can fill it. But we have to take comfort in knowing that they, as Keith Ray put it in Regan's funeral service today, have said yes to Jesus' invitation to join Him. And that's a much better place than right here.

If you have never lost anyone close to you, you have no idea. I don't say that to condemn you, because I certainly don't wish it upon you, but it's hard for you to relate. I used to be one of those people. I wish I was still one of those people.

Today was hard. It was hard to see Brian and Chantell hurting because they miss their baby girl. It is hard to see Ryder and Rylee hurting because they miss their baby sister. It is hard to see grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, because they miss the precious blessing that Regan was and will always be. And it was hard because it reminds me how much I miss my dad. It reminds me of what life used to look like when he was fully alive (and I say fully, because I mean before any of his surgeries and complications when he truly felt alive). It reminds me how real death is and how short life is. It reminds me of how hard those nights were after his wake and funeral and how difficult the days were when all the friends and family were gone and all we wanted to do was jump back into life as usual, but we knew...life would never be the same. It couldn't.

I wish I was still one of those people. I wish I didn't have to lose my Grandma Mary and Grandma Shirlye. I wish I didn't have to lose my Dad. I wish my Mom didn't have to lose her husband, and I wish my sister and brother-in-law didn't have to lose their dad. I wish my niece Maddy didn't have to lose her Papa and I wish my nephew Evan could have met his Papa. I wish Brian and Chantell didn't have to lose their baby girl and I wish Ryder and Rylee didn't have to lose their baby sister.

But even as we wish we could still go home and go back to normal, I know that our hearts are more alive, our families are stronger, our hope is a little closer, our faith is more real, and our lives are more blessed because we have loved and lost. And what is even more important in all of this is that our God is more glorified and our praise is even truer.

My heart wrenched today as I watched Brian and Chantell worship God, with arms raised high in the air, in the midst of loss, but in the midst of victory. Because God is good. Even in these times, God is good. But I still wish I was one of those people...

Please pray...

Please pray for Brian, Chantell, Ryder, and Rylee Mills as they grieve the loss of their little girl, Regan. If you know them, you know that Regan's life was a struggle but such a gift and blessing to so many people. Praise God for the life she lived and the lessons she taught everyone along the way. You can refer to Brian & Chantell's blog for more from their heart and journey: www.routefive.blogspot.com.

yessssss!!!!!!

yay!!!

enough said.

blue skies, palm trees, golden sunsets

How can anyone see these things and not believe that there is a mighty, powerful, creative, colorful God behind it all? I sure can't...

Flo-Rida...

So it has only been a little over 24 hours now since I left sunny Flo-rida, and I can't stop shivering. Seriously, Illinois, it's the middle of April and we're expecting snow today and tomorrow. Isn't that a bit ridiculous?

Anyway, one of my best friends/co-worker Lindsey and I had the great opportunity to go down to Panama City Beach to hang out w/ all the drunk spring breakers for a week. Just kidding. We went down there for a Christ In Youth MOVE Conference with only the youth group of 400 students from Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, KY. In the midst of crazy drunks galavanting down the streets barefoot in bikinis hollering at everyone in sight and riding in the backs of trucks, there were about 400 students plus staff/adult leaders worshiping in an old arcade building. Not the type of venue you'd expect, but we're sure it was the first time an event like that had ever happened in that building. It was cool to sense the Spirit moving in such an odd place. I guess that's how He rolls...

We hung out w/ some funny students, some new and old friends from both CIY and Southeast, and of course spent some good time on the beach. I definitely brought a tan home as a souvenir, so I'm quite happy about that.

The thing that I'm most excited about is just to see how these students will begin to MOVE. I'm excited to see how even I will move. I'm in such a weird stage of life where I'm so uncertain about where God is leading me, and I have no idea which direction I should be moving. But I know there's something stirring in me...I just have yet to figure it out.

I'll post some pictures of the beautiful sunset I caught the other night on the beach when I get a chance...since it's so cold in Illinois for now, those will have to suffice for warming me up.

Now that I have seen...(part 2)

This last picture is my absolute favorite thing to photograph. Last year I took a similar picture that was almost identical from the inside of another gypsy village home of the sunlight shining through the curtain. It's such a beautiful thing to see the light that shines through to a place that might seem so dark and dim.

Now that I have seen...

Let me introduce you to the kids at the Isaiah Center through Forget Me Not Ministries:

Below is little Florica, being held by Rachel Ross. Rachel first met Florica in the baby hospital, I believe, and she has since met Florica's family in the village and brought her to be a part of the center in Tinca. Florica's family, as are all of the center kids' families, is also supported by receiving food monthly. Florica is sneaky, and she knows it! I think a few times I caught her pushing the toilet flusher over and over and it made it overflow...Once I think I caught her trying to drink out of it or playing with the water. She likes to be involved, but because of her background sometimes gets overwhelmed and just wants to be cuddled.

Below is little Simona, who is Florica's cousin (I hope I'm remembering this all correctly...). Simona is 23 months old and is a precious little ball of joy. I'm hoping later on that I can post a video I have of her from the last night when we went out to eat. She has the cutest smile and is a happy, cuddly, little baby girl. Coming from a family that does show love, but just doesn't know how to appropriately show it, she has been molested even at her really young age.
Below is me holding little Samuel (Samu), who is about 3 years old we think. He and his older brother Abel are part of the center. Samu is totally ornery, but he's also totally adorable. I mean, seriously, do you see that smile? He has the cutest little giggle on the face of the earth, and I can't tell you how happy that little squealer can be. Rotten as he can sometimes be, I was blessed with about an hour of some good cuddle time w/ him one day, and I loved every minute of it. I am actually deciding to sponsor Samuel w/ $30/month to cover the costs of him being at the center. Each child needs at least 9 sponsors for them to be completely covered, and currently each only has 2-3. So if you're interested, let me know!

Below is Samuel's older brother, Abel, who is 4 or 5...look at that grin! It must run in their family. He is the little boy who actually walked to the center 3 times during the week before we were there when they were closed for some construction. He wanted to escape his home so badly that he walked over a mile to get there only to find out he had to go back home. Abel has a scar on his head that is from an axe, probably used in abusing him. He is a playful, outgoing little boy, but he has a pretty fair temper as well. It's sort of inevitable considering the background he has come from. He has progressed sooo much from the stories we've heard since he has been at the center in its first 2 months.

Below is little Maria, who is just as sweet and ornery as the rest of them! She is 2 or 3, I believe, and is just a really fun little girl. She loved to color and paint and be involved in everything the other kids were doing at all times. She has the funniest little belly that sticks out, and you can't help but just pick her up and tickle her and give her kisses.

Below is sweet little baby Alex, who I think I previously wrote about. Alex is 2 and 1/2 years old, but he appears to be about 9 months old. He has Downs Syndrome, and because of neglect he spent the first 2 years of his life just laying in a stroller and not being allowed to fully develop by being held or played with. When alex first came to the center they thought he may be blind because he wasn't following anything, but in the past 2 months he has started chattering, following all kinds of things w/ his eyes, eating lots of food, and sitting up on his own. He was really mad each evening when our group would leave and there wasn't someone to hold him constantly, so he kicked his legs a lot! He is really getting used to being loved on! He is soooo sweet.

And of course below is little miss Izabella. She's technically not one of the kids in the center, but she's a precious little princess who you need to know! Rachel first met her in the baby hospital when she was 3 months old, and she took her home when she was about a year old. Now that Iza is almost 5 this summer, she has only about 6-9 months until her official adoption to Rachel is complete. Praise the Lord and continue praying that this process will happen smoothly! She is one of the funniest little kids and could not remind me more of my niece, Maddy. She love love loves to play monsters and hide-and-seek and imagination games.
And here are a few more of the kids just being entertained by us crazy Americans!

This final picture is of them praying before they have their snack--yogurt. They sing a little prayer song every time they eat and it is the cutest thing ever.

More pics to come...that's just an introduction.