psalm 145

This has been working on my heart the past few days...and it still is. Jeez, I love the Psalms.

Psalm 145

I will exalt you, my God the King;
I will praise your name for ever and ever.
 Every day I will praise you
and extol your name for ever and ever.
 Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise;
his greatness no one can fathom.
One generation will commend your works to another;
they will tell of your mighty acts.
They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and I will meditate on your wonderful works.
They will tell of the power of your awesome works,
and I will proclaim your great deeds.
They will celebrate your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of your righteousness.
 The Lord is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and rich in love.
The Lord is good to all;
he has compassion on all he has made.
All you have made will praise you, O Lord;
your saints will extol you.
They will tell of the glory of your kingdom
and speak of your might,
so that all men may know of your mighty acts
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures through all generations.
The Lord is faithful to all his promises
and loving toward all he has made.
The Lord upholds all those who fall
and lifts up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food at the proper time.
You open your hand
and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
The Lord is righteous in all his ways
and loving toward all he has made.
The Lord is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
he hears their cry and saves them.
The Lord watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.
My mouth will speak in praise of the Lord.
Let every creature praise his holy name
for ever and ever.

because it's been awhile...

It's time for a random post.

Randomette #1: I'm rediscovering my love for some old school Jennifer Knapp. And I have a hard time accepting all the lesbian rumors about her...is that really true? I just can't get past it.

#2: Blogger is ticking me off for not letting me post pictures lately. What is the deal?

#3: I'm just wondering when the day will come that every person on earth has joined myspace.

#4: I have the best recipe for pork chops ever. It was ever-so-creatively titled in an old cookbook, "Pork Chops in Sauce." However, uncreatively named as it is, it's delish. If you want it, let me know. And I must say, I made a good apple pie last night.

#5: I can't believe my old roomie is starting to get a little preggers belly!!! oh my goodness, you're adorable missy!

#6: I have about a million piles of clean clothes in my room that I just don't feel like putting away. I'm not going to. Ever.... ok, i'm lying. I will.

#7: currently reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and loving it. Why hadn't I read this until now?

#8: it's totally raining outside and i just now realized it.

#9: i ordered the Hope in the Dark book of Jeremy Cowart's photos from Africa...saw it in Borders and it looks amazing. Check it out.

#10: So You Think You Can Dance is almost over. I can't even believe it! I'm to the point where it doesn't matter who wins now, b/c they're all good. And Allison is gone and she was my fave. Plus, we all know it's going to be Benji in the end anyway.

Enough random thoughts for now.
Maybe in the meantime blogger will work on letting me post pics finally.

the long way home...

(Toadie, this may slightly compare to your door-shattering of the Hole...except this was certainly not my fault, nor was it avoidable in any way...nevertheless, we'll both probably go down in the books for these experiences.)

It was quite a ride home from visiting our camp team girls at CIY in Carbondale, IL last night. What was supposed to be only a 3 and a half hour ride back to Lincoln turned into a 5 and a half hour ride. Why? Pictures to come soon (for some reason Blogger sucks right now and won't let me post them)... and explanation below:

As I was on my merry way, heading up Rt. 51 North, in the LCC '05 Camry, I proceeded behind 2 other vehicles...directly in front of me was a white van, and in front of the van was a big dark green truck. The truck turned right off of 51 onto a gravel road, and the van continued on. I did as well, however, the truck decided he was going to accelerate quickly onto the loose gravel road. As he did this, his back tires spewed up what seemed like a million rocks at me and the Camry.

I had the front passenger side window down about 4 inches, and probably thankfully so. However, rocks ended up flying in through the window at my head. But it sounded like the car was hit by more rocks than what were flying in at me, so as I began to move past the fact that I was just hit in the head by multiple rocks, I noticed the backseat passenger window was totally shattered. In a matter of seconds, just like James Frey, the window was in a million little pieces.

here is my new rock collection from those I gathered from the front seat:


Now I pulled into a driveway after the gravel road so I could turn around and try to catch the truck that had long since gone down the gravel road. I didn't catch the plates or anything. I ended up going back to the driveway of a house of a 76 year old man for whom I am very thankful. From his driveway I proceeded to call GT and Lynn Laughlin to ask what to do, called 911 to report it, and talked to the old man who lived there.

By the time I walked back to the car, pieces of the window had fallen in (as I presumed would happen from the sound of the window's snapping, crackling, and popping). So the old man helped me push all of the glass into a towel so I could drive the rest of my way back to Lincoln with a lesser chance of glass flying further into the car at me. Needless to say, it was a little windy, but much safer.

So I'm okay, and the Camry will be...however, she took quite the gravel attack. I was pretty shaken up for the time being, even though it wasn't my fault. It was the weirdest thing...but I know the Lord sure protected me. Even in the littlest things, I'm thankful...like the way that I happened to have the front window down about 4 inches so that window didn't shatter into the front seat...and the way the old man who lived right there was super nice and helpful and even let me use his bathroom because I had to pee so bad...and the way Lynn and Greg were understanding and willing to help me...and the way I didn't get cut or hurt in any way, except for a minor cut on my elbow from a piece of glass that landed on the arm rest.

I was planning on coming back and posting about all of my nostalgia from CIY days at SIU, but that one's going to have to wait until a later date...

Balancing the World

Balancing the World
Eliot Morris

Well everything is a dream and it’s moving fast
Oh it’s hard to hand the present over to the past
So I don’t know where to start cause I fear the end
And all this transition into ‘remember when’

Every day sailin’ by drinks you dry
But you’re balancing the world
It never fails, you’re last in line by design
So you’re balancing the world

Sometimes it’s hard to see when our cheeks are wet
And the storms inside our hearts won’t let our heads forget
This is part of life, a chapter in the book
And I swear one day we’ll sit back down and take a look

Every day sailin’ by drinks you dry
But you’re balancing the world
It never fails you’re last in line by design
Cause you’re balancing the world alone
All alone
all alone
all alone
all alone

Oh, but you are not alone
You are not alone, no no
You are not alone, no no
Oh no, where to now
When your life’s turned upside down
it stings
You’re standing in between
the world and everything it brings

yeah yeah yeah
You are not alone
You are not alone
You are not alone
You are not alone


Check out Eliot's myspace and listen to this song. It's like my theme song right now in life. And speaking of him, I'm sad I won't be seeing him open for the Counting Crows and Goo Goo Dolls at the State Fair on the 19th due to freshman move-in day here. Grr. That day is only the culmination of all I do at Lincoln.

kicking the air

So I do this thing when I get mad and I just kick the air. I'm kicking the air at America right now. Why? Because I just saw that ALLISON got kicked off of So You Think You can Dance this week. Dang you, Americans who know nothing about dance! She was one of the absolute best! TICKED OFF.

sometime in the near future I'll write about my thoughts from CIY this week after I process them, but right now I'm just plain mad at America. I wish I would've been able to watch and vote...maybe I could have saved her...

though she's probably better off...the winner has to go dance for Celine Dion's show in Vegas. Allison deserves better. I'll try to look at the bright side...

So You Think You Can...

Oh no you didn't, FOX...I can't even believe you are doing this. This will be the best birthday present EVER.

So You Think You Can Dance is TOURING this fall! I am so pumped. September 22--at the Rosemont in Chicago. yes, yes ya'll. Or if that doesn't work, then ON my birthday, September 21--they're in St. Louis @ the Fox Theater.

Tickets go on sale in August. And they better not cost me an arm and a leg.


And I am currently missing it this week, so I'll be watching taped episodes when I get back (hopefully) from CIY in Bolivar, MO. I'm sure I'll have lots more to write as well.

this is my past few weeks plus the next week and a half:

lincoln
louisville, ky
lincoln
chicago
lincoln
oshkosh/appleton, wi
lincoln
louisville, ky
lincoln
streator
chicago
streator
lincoln
bolivar, mo
lincoln

...and, done. though i love my travels, i'm tired. and that is because it is late. so now i will go to bed. tomorrow: chicago.

dang internet...

so I just wrote an entire blog and b/c the Marriott's internet is ridiculous expensive here in

so somehow I'm connected to the Comfort Inn's wireless...(???i don't understand this stuff...) and then it disconnected me and lost my blog. oh well. it was clearly unimportant.

We're here for the National Small College Enrollment Conference and so far, it's been great! To most I'm sure it sounds like watching paint dry, but it really makes me more excited about my job and it's fun to learn from hearing about how other schools work. It's a much different world here during this conference than from the North American Christian Convention in Louisville just a few weeks ago, but just as the NACC world is a subculture, so is the College Admissions/Retention/Enrollment world.

I am happy to be in the South and to have all the SWEET TEA I want. Seriously, the rest of the country needs to jump on that train. (OK since i just said "jump on that train" it reminded me of the new Rascal Flatts song "Me and My Gang" that is too cheesy for their own good...just a side thought. I digress...) And Lindsey is happy w/ her Derby Pie at Bistro 301 down the street.

And I really like my new phone. Say hello to her:

and i like my Kirk Franklin ringtone... ;-)

The 2 Greatest Photographers Ever

This video is hilarious! Jeremy Cowart, who is an amazing photographer of a lot of musicians I love, "interviews" Dave Barnes and another guy Barrett Ward. He's asking them about all these photography terms...sooo funny.

the eleventy bajillionth blog of the day...well, only the 2nd you'll see

I am one of five things:
a) a fraidy-cat
b) extremely paranoid
c) overly imaginative
d) MacGyver
d) all of the above

While sitting in my windowsill and reading (with my windows open, of course, b/c I prefer fresh air over air conditioning, so in the midst of summer heat I allow both simultaneously.), I heard a car alarm that seemed to sound like it was coming from where mine is parked behind the apartments. Without much concern, I carry on, assuming and hoping it is not. About 3 minutes later, and approximately every 4-5 minutes from there on out, the car alarm repeated itself. I started to grow in my concern.

I also saw a teenage boy across the street carrying something (i have no idea what) and yelling across to his friend. Then he ran back across the street, seemingly to where my car and my neighbors' cars are parked. The car alarms continued only about every 5 minutes, but no further voices except every once in awhile and very distant-sounding.

I watched cars drive by on the street to see if there was any reaction, and one van did slow down with some concern, but ne'er again returned. I also keep thinking I'm hearing something like the sound of some kind of metal pipe or something, which could just be the remnants of tonight's rain dripping onto a pipe somewhere nearby. Or, from my crazy mind, I have decided it is someone taking the rims off of one of the cars.

Finally, after another car alarm I decided I'd go and check on the situation. Slowly I unlocked my door, opened it, stood there, heard nothing but silence inside the hallway, and got scared. I closed the door again and returned to my windowsill.

I still think they're out there. Maybe I'm just plain crazy. Right now I'd like to think I'm MacGyver instead, and that in the morning, the police will be wanting to know my infamous details as a witness for their records of someone's lost rims or broken-into car...possibly even my own.

I think I need to get a life. But we'll just see in the morning...for now I'm too scared to go see for myself.

i'm back in black...except not.

Back from Wisconsin, yo. It's so much more friggin' humid here. Why? I suppose it could be worse...like as humid as it is in Savannah, GA. now THAT is humidity.

I feel like I have a million things to catch up on, but I never can seem to get any of them done. Why is that? I can't seem to focus myself for some reason. I need some good windowsill time to just sit and read and think and write tonight. I think that's how I'll spend my evening.

I have lots of things that I've wanted to sit and think and pray and write about lately. Community is one of them. Church along with that, which is pretty much the same thing. I feel like I'm trying to find my place in a church right now, and especially after talking to Becka the other night for awhile about how hard it is to have to "pick" a church after college, I'm feeling weighed down about it. Though I've sort of chosen one already and have been going there, it's like I'm having second thoughts. I don't really know where I belong anymore among churches.

I really want and need to be serving in some way. I get too easily caught up in myself sometimes and forget that my role here is to serve people...and that, I feel I've neglected.

I need to focus less on myself and even less on "finding myself" as this generation is so fixed on pursuing. I've read lately some things that reminded me that we're not here to "find ourselves" but to find Jesus more and more. So why is it that this "twixters" or "twentysomethings" generation is so set on pursuing our own identity?

Anyway, these are just random thoughts that are running through my mind and happen to be falling out of my fingertips. I'll spend some time actually processing them later.

On a completely different and random note, I'm writing in pink in honor of my new pink Motorola SLVR pink phone I'm getting on Thursday or Friday. It will have iTunes on it. Since I don't have an iPod, I'll take a sweet phone that can hold songs for now. ;-)

and on that note, i'm outtie.

from the state of cheese

It's kind of loud in the hallway currently in my hotel room in Appleton, WI. Kinda sounds like the guys in the hallway are trying to get into our room. (You know, that's probably the case...Lindsey and I are always fighting them off...j/k!) Hope they're quiet the rest of the night so we can sleep!

In honor of the state of cheese, I have to state that my favorite type of cheese is feta. I love it. Especially on a Greek salad from Panera. It's odd, you know...my sis introduced me to these wonderful salads at an Atlanta Bread Company in Westerville, OH years ago, and today I ate the same thing at another Atlanta Bread Company in Rockford, and it was nothing in comparison to Panera's. I was sad, but I'm glad to know that the best is always waiting at Panera not far from home. At least the A.B.C. had Mango Iced Tea...another fave. But we're on the topic of cheese, not iced tea.

And on the topic of cheese, I'm sure there will be a lot of that (not in the food sense) at Lifest this week. That's the Christian Music Festival we're at in Oshkosh for the next few days. There are some good bands, but mostly I don't listen to Christian music, so some of it is not my fave. For example, I believe 4Him is there tomorrow...they're still around? I didn't even know that! I hope they sing that Rollercoaster Ride song...

Another example of non-food-cheese at the festival this week pertains to some of the other exhibitors. Lots of Christian t-shirts, dog tags, bumper stickers, and what have you. Funny story...we passed a creepy van today on our way, while still in IL, that was COVERED on the back w/ tons of Christian bumper stickers that would probably seem quite offensive to a non-Christian. When we walked around this evening, I saw a table full of bumper stickers, looked behind, and it's the same guy. I laughed.

However, an example of actual food cheese that is here would be the fried cheese curds. Gotta love fair food. Did you really have to involve the word 'curds' in the title? That just makes me gag thinking about it. I'll stick w/ the corn dogs and funnel cakes, thank you.

And though there are many crazies making Christian t-shirts out there, you should really check out JesusBranded clothing. It's pretty sweet. They're based out of Seattle, as all cool things are, and they give a lot of their proceeds to actually feed the poor and clothe the naked. It even says it on the inside of the shirt. I got a cute one. :-)

That's all. Fun times in the land of cheese heads.

-Cheesy McCheeserson

sweet home chicago

So i'm getting ready to hit the city tonight...trying to pack up my things and get myself ready, and I'm jamming to some old school Whitney Houston. She had some good hits...too bad she has gone off the deep end these days!

In honor of Rachel & Heidi's birthdays, we're heading to Chi-town tonight to go to the Taste, stay @ the Hilton (thanks to priceline and its great deals), and go out on the town, and back to the Taste tomorrow. For two days, why on earth am I taking enough clothes for a week? I don't know. I have a problem with packing.

And i'm not unpacking from the NACC, because I'll now be in Chicago for two days, return for two, and then head to a music festival in Wisconsin for work.

I love traveling!

hm...

I really haven't a clue why I am awake right now... I'm tired, but probably due to the large piece of chocolate cake I ate about an hour ago, I don't know that I could fall asleep. I just want to be tired enough when I actually lay my head down on the pillow in my Galt House hotel room.

I'm in Louisville right now for the North American Christian Convention, which is quite an interesting time. Fun, but also can be boring, and somehow tiring. This Christian Church/Church of Christ world is such a funny little network. Everyone knows everyone somehow.

Tonight instead of going to the main session I skipped and walked down to Waterfront Park where the Gabe Dixon Band was playing for free. No one else wanted to go, but it was kind of fun to just walk down the river by myself and people-watch and enjoy good music. I love a good people-watching place and love a good band. And if I could figure out how to post video clips on here, I'd post you the clip that I taped from afar of this guy dancing in the crowd. Let's just say there were some free-spirited people there that were pretty interesting to watch. He had about 3 moves that he chose throughout the night...including something similar to the robot.

I'm enjoying the view of the Ohio River from our 18th floor room, and I think tomorrow morning I'm going to take a nice walk down the river when I get up. Have I mentioned that I just love being in the city where there is actually life at night? However, somehow I am still in my hotel room while the rest of town is out and about, probably partying it up at 4th Street Live somewhere...except for all the NACC goers, I'm sure. I should probably get some sleep so I'm rested and rarrr-ing to go in the morning.

currently watching...

I love this movie. And for multiple reasons:

• It makes me want to live in NYC.
• It makes me want to visit NYC in the spring or the fall. ("Don't you just love New York in the fall?")
• It makes me want to sing that song they sing around the piano at Christmastime with my family and friends.
• Meg Ryan is wonderful. (sidenote: I wish she wouldn't have had so much work done on her face...she used to be so darn cute and now she just looks different.)
• It has a superb soundtrack filled with Harry Nilsson, Stevie Wonder, Joni Mitchell, The Cranberries...
• All of their conversation about what 'NY152' means...
• Great quotes like:

"Once I read a story about a butterfly in the subway and today - I saw one! It got on at 42nd and off at 59th, where, I assume, it was going to Bloomingdale's to buy a hat that will turn out to be a mistake - as almost all hats are."

or

"I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address."

or

"The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make 6 decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall! Decaf! Cappuccino!"

or

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable but small. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave?"

or

"If I ever get out of here, I'm getting my eyes lasered....WHERE ARE MY TIC-TACS?!?"

or, the all-time best part, of course

"I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly."

Ahhh... I love this movie. It's so comforting to watch a movie you know the whole way through and love no matter how many times you've seen it.

$

I hate money.

Memory box Monday

This is my new thing: Memory Box Monday. I'm going to start a series of all the funny finds I'm discovering in this memory box I found at home this weekend. I'll inaugurate the series with this, the photo documentary of a story written by myself--an 8-year-old genius (or not) in 1990. (with commentary)

(please note: the title is "The Bear Who Found the Best Present Ever" and I wrote next to it this message--"December 14, 17, 18, 1990, keep so I can read it to my kids"). Clearly I'll be reading this story to my children someday.

(above) the thought bubble says this: "Maybe someone will buy me for Christmas!" Wow, I was creative.
(above) somehow I was bright enough to draw this illustration from the inside viewpoint of the toy store so that the name on the window appeared backwards. Genius, I tell you.

(above) Notice that I crossed outo a word and rewrote it. Very professional. I know this book is going to be published someday.

i think Ashley used to be my favorite name for some reason, so of course the girl was named Ashley.



Oh yes, this is the happy ending. What a conclusion, right? I think I ran out of ideas, because following this page there were 4 pages left blank but with page numbers on the bottom. I must have planned to be more creative than I was. Nevertheless, look for this book to be published sometime soon. Coming soon in a Barnes & Noble or Borders near you...

It's just the beginning...

If I haven't talked enough about it before, you need to know about Invisible Children.

On April 29 this year, thousands of us gathered worldwide to give up a night of good, solid, comfortable sleepfor a few reasons:

1) to try to understand what the Invisible Children in Northern Uganda experience every night. This event, the Global Night Commute, was hardly comparable to the nightly commute that children in Uganda make daily to avoid being taken by the Lord's Resistance Army to be forced to fight for a corrupt leader.

and

2) to draw the world's attention to something bigger than people gathered in a park or on a sidewalk or in the center of a city--a war. This is a war taking place against the LRA in Uganda that is basically a giant act of terrorism within their own country and largely affecting their own children.

and

3) to write letters to political leaders concerning this war in hopes that America can help the people of Northern Uganda experience freedom like we do. It's unfortunate that we so often forget the freedoms we have...like the fact that we don't have to hide our 4 year old children at night in fear that they might be taken, be handed a knife or a gun, and be forced to kill.

I don't write about this to make you feel guilty, but I'm writing to remind people--including myself--that there's a great need that cannot be ignored. Honestly, I feel awful b/c since April 29th, I haven't thought much about Invisible Children. I played my part. I went. I didn't even stay overnight because I had a long day the day before. I showed up. I wrote letters, created art, and left at 2 a.m. I don't deserve recognition for having gone, that's for sure.

Nevertheless, my heart beats for this organization and more importantly, for the people in Northern Uganda. They are our brothers and sisters, our neighbors...not unlike the people we talk to every day aside from some cultural and physical differences.

Today they just released this new video that re-ignited my passion for what they do. I hope you watch it and I hope you and I will both remember to pray for the Invisible Children in Northern Uganda. Check out the rest of Invisible Children's website and if you can get involved in any way, please do. Not for your own good, but for the Greater Good.

no mail

Today when I had no mail in my mailbox, this is what I thought next: "I hope nothing happened to the mailman! I hope he (or she) isn't laying dead somewhere or hasn't fallen or been captured or something."

And all just b/c I had no mail. Is this normal?