I think it's coming...

a sore throat.
I can feel it. Starts out all dry, just thinking I need a drink, but it'll be unquenchable. I have good sore throat instincts (as well as other instincts). Or you could call me a hypochondriac, if you'd like. I'll admit to it. But I'll also admit to this: I'm good at diagnosing myself. I knew I had shingles 2 years ago before the dr. told me and before it even really started. Thanks WebMd.com for making me smarter...and sometimes more of a hypochondriac.

Great weekend...saw some friends from years ago at LCC. The b-ball guys were back for Matt Clark's Hall of Fame induction. Reminded me of the days of the round table in the cafe. Some good memories, some not-so-good. Sometimes I think it used to be too much like high school. Those groups SO changed over time!

On a completely different note, I had a dream the other night that has thrown my whole weekend off. It was a really good dream, but I had to wake up and realize it was not actually happening. Let's just say it was about a boy...we were best friends in this dream. It was good. Life was good. It left me "so...CAUGHT UP!" (singing new Usher hit...which I'd LOVE to dance to. I wish I was still on Streatorettes in High School somedays just so I could dance all the time.)

Fuel was great last night. God is constantly reminding me, "Hey--get CAUGHT UP in me!" and it always rearranges my focus & priorities. Met a really cool girl who I will be praying for...I can tell already that God's doing something HUGE in her life. Can't wait to see what it is.

Kinda looking fwd. to tomorrow: Noel-Levitz College Recruiting/Retention Conference. It'll be me & the boys...but I still think it might be fun! At least it's a day in St. Louis and not Lincoln! It's just too bad it has to start at 5 a.m. for me...

so much to share

There's a whole lot I want to write today, including an entire excerpt from my current read: Donald Miller's Prayer and the Art of Volkswagen Maintenance (which is, by the way, excellent!) However, I'm going to refrain from posting that today and save it for a day when I don't have anything else to say.

Last night's Matt Wertz show was good, though expectedly not as good as the St. Louis show he played completely acoustic & unplugged. I find it so interesting to watch the girls pour into these shows--some scantily clad, some trying to fit the Wertz style, some who you can see it in their face are just bursting w/ excitedness that Matt Wertz is right in front of them and they're imagining he's singing Red Meets Blue to them, when really he's singing it about GOD and His beautiful creation. We couldn't help but laugh while people-watching. Trying so hard not to be judgmental, it was just my prayer that I'd never be a psycho fan of anyone like these girls were. (And even some guys...boy there was one who was just jammin' the whole time, bopping up and down, back and forth, singing all squinty-eyed and all...) It was just obvious who the groupies were and I really hope no one thinks that I am like that.

Of course I joke about marrying Matt Wertz, and secretly that is a dream of mine. However, I know it's not going to happen realistically. A girl can pretend, and she can set her standards. Am I right? I just hope that my secret dream of marrying him and my love for his music & creativity & personality that is evident in his shows and my attending his shows anytime they're nearby does not categorize me w/ the psycho girls. Please hit me in the face if I ever become like them. Seriously!

A few other tidbits:
-It's Friday! hooray!
-My mind has been flooded w/ ideas for poetry lately...it's weird. Maybe not so much poetry as possible song lyrics or something. I'm obsessed w/ lyrics.
-I'm wearing my bright pink Old Navy vest today...and did I pay $19.99 for it in the women's dept.? Nope--I bought the XL in girls instead and only paid $6.97. :-)
-my back hurts from sitting in this chair

lyrics i'm pondering

Step inside the sound of something there for you to find,
Leave your bag of worrys far behind you,
Turning all around you can't contain yourself inside,
So you move outside the lines that once define you, yeah
Symphonys and shadows steal the silence from your head,
Like a ship thats taken by the sea,
Written words are seldom heard as often as they're said,
So the only way to have your say is screaming

--Step Inside, eliot morris

by the way

do you LOVE this color or what? I do!

Th-WERTZ-day

Yes, friends, it's Thwertzday. My boy Matt will be playing FOR FREE at Bradley tonight. 8:00. doors open at 7:30. be there.

January

If I were a poet
I'd write a poem about January.

It's gloomy and gray,
Frustrating at times
Missing some connection
Wondering,
questioning,
or am I just questioning too much?

Seems like everyone's feeling this way...
Is it a season of life?
Or is it just a season?
The winter?

Is this a mirror of what February will bring?
Hopefully not.
I can't wait for spring!


I guess this is my response to what I've been feeling lately and what both Doug and Kim have written about recently in their blogs. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I have this gloomy, depressive outlook on life...it's just that it feels like something is missing. But is it? It's weird and hard to describe in words, but I'm seriously wondering if this is just a winter thing or if it's a season of life. If anyone knows the answer, fill me in. I'd like to know.

This day so far...

Is good...woke up a little later and came in at 8 instead of 7:30. I have 3.5 hours to make up for this week since I worked till 8 p.m. on Monday. I'll sleep in a little, thank you very much!

Currently I'm...

~Finding music that I love through my myspace.com site that I hardly use.
Here are 2 sites to check out the music at:
www.myspace.com/akiva
www.myspace.com/florez

~Reading Donald Miller's no-longer-printed book "Prayer and the Art of Volkswagen Maintenance" and loving it. Read it. Totally different kind of book than the sometimes over-talked-about Blue Like Jazz & Searching for God Knows What (even though I love those 2 as well).

~Wondering if this day will be more exciting than listening to the guys talk about the Illinois game constantly (well mostly just my boss)

~Thinking about 2 Cor. 9:6-15, 1 Tim. 6:6-10, since those were the texts from church & Fuel...we're talking about taking back money from the world and reclaiming it for God, and daily it is stretching me.

~Praising God for Sunday night at Fuel still...hundreds of us walked out of the place without shoes on (yes, even on the snow and ice), because we threw them into the back of a truck to be taken to the homeless in Bloomington. I don't tell you this to make you think "wow Mandy, you guys are really sacrificial" or whatever, but I tell you this so you can praise God all the more with us. To see a truckload of shoes that were given up immediately, willfully and from the heart,, recognizing that they belong to God and not to us, was amazing. It's stretching me and challenging me more and more each day. I won't lie...it was hard for me to do. That's unfortunate--it should have been easy!

~Encouraging you to do the same...not necessarily shoes but give something to someone in need. And don't just go looking for things you don't want or use anymore. Feel the freedom that comes from giving up something you LOVE...a favorite pair of shoes or sweater that you're attached to. Remove the strings that are attaching your heart to your things, and even this life. There's so much more...

It's Tuesday...

Well, what did you expect for a Tuesday morning blog? Of course I'm going to recap last night's Bachelorette!

Week 3 comments:

-Jen's crazy date w/ Fabrice~ he's out of his mind. Didn't expect her to keep him, but I suppose if she used him for info. about 7 guys she can't just throw him out right after. What I don't understand is why he threw a fit about getting the last rose out of the 6...AT LEAST YOU GOT ONE BUDDY!!! You're freaking LUCKY to have received one at all! But don't worry, Jen knows she won't be keeping you next week, that's for sure!

-Jen's date w/ John Paul~ I really wish his smile wasn't so weird looking, because he'd be great if it wasn't. But it just weirds me out...don't know if I could be attracted to him! Maybe that's vain, but I don't know...

-What happened to Jen & Ben having one-on-one time at Central Park? Everyone else got it! I'm jealous for Ben! (even though he sometimes reminds me of a cute little old man...I still love him.)

-ABC is darn good at what they do. As Kate put it last night, "They wrote the book on cliffhangers!" I agree. They're excellent at sucking you in (or maybe not you, just me?) and making you wait in anticipation for next week's episode.

That's all for this week...stay tuned for next week's Bachelorette Recap. And possibly another blog today. (not about the show though)

Adventures in Admissions Counseling

So today I had quite an interesting visit. Here's the story:

Her name was Amelia. (No, not Bedelia...although that's all that went through my head the whole time.) She was a sweet, sweet girl! She came w/ her mom and younger sister to check out the school. Because Amelia hadn't been feeling well today, they decided to skip going to class, so I ended up giving their tour instead of a student rep. As we exited the Chapel, Amelia didn't feel well again. Her mom asked her if she needed to sit down, and she did. So she sat on the curb outside of the chapel. I thought we'd wait there for a couple minutes until she felt better, but it wasn't long until she THREW UP! Poor thing! I felt so bad for her! At least she felt better after that!

However, here's the preface to the story:
I am deathly afraid of throwing up. I have not done it in at least like 10 years...not even exaggerating. I have no idea when the last time was. I panic at the least bit of nausea.

Here's the afterword to the story:
I am now afraid that I'm going to throw up because I was around her. All of a sudden my stomach doesn't feel well and my head hurts. I was already a hypochondriac...this sure didn't help!

And that, my friends, was a first for the LCC Admissions Office.

Why can't I keep my eyes open?

...SO tired today. Why? I guess I need to go to bed earlier. I'm pretty sure that even if I went to bed at 6:00 at night, I'd still struggle to wake up in the mornings. I guess my busy day yesterday wore me out. here's what happened:

• Work: We had 5, yes 5, visits yesterday. That may not sound like a ton of work, but it's tiring to feel like you're responsible for several visitors' impression of a school. My job has a lot to do with impressions and helping people to see what LCC is really like...and my fear is always that they'll walk away w/ the wrong idea.
• SFG: went great, then I had them over for dinner, so had to cook & clean up, wasn't finished till like 8:00.
• Laundry: 2 loads
• Industrial skills: I broke out the electric drill/screwdriver thing and completed 2 projects-- 1)put together this tiny 99 cent shelf from IKEA to hang belts on in my closet, and it took forever b/c I only have 2 hands. 2)FINALLY hung the big French cafe picture on my wall above the kitchen table...it had been waiting there for months!
• Nails: painted them, then decided I was too tired to wait for them to dry enough, so removed it all and went to bed.

Now that you have my last night's agenda, it probably sounds like nothing. And really it is. I'm just tired and had nothing else to write about and thought I'd share my exciting life with all my friendly readers. Have a lovely weekend.

Thinking about...

Here's entry #2 for the morning ~ the things I'm thinking about at the moment:

-new SFG starts today (we lost 2 girls from last semester, but gained 2 new transfers, so praying they all love each other....)

-Einsteins' coffee woke me up this morning and smelled SO good. I've never smelled it upstairs like I did this morning. It was overwhelming, and I still didn't want to get up.

-Glad that I DID wake up this morning, considering yesterday I accidentally shut my alarm clock off and slept till 9:30 (I was supposed to be at work at 7:30).

-Still thinking about all Dr. Lowery said last night at Focus...and processing it all. This wasn't even his main point, really, but it's what stuck w/ me a lot: about Scripture-- "we need to not only examine it, but embrace it; and we need to not only study it, but submit to it." (maybe the alliteration w/ the e's and s's helped me remember it or something) Why do we sometimes think about it as a book of things we should consider and possibly change in our lives and not just start with it as a foundation and build from there?

-looking forward to hanging out w/ kate & chantell this weekend, and of course to babysitting madelyn belle on saturday!

-Happy Birthday to Aubrey & Amanda today, and to Allison yesterday!

-Missing my friendship w/ Amanda, looking forward to rebuilding it soon...

-frustrated, with a former student who is bringing students today and we already have 4 visits set up for today, so we really don't have time, but whatever...

-feeling...content. happy. satisfied. thankful.

-singing in my head these days: "Anyway" by Eliot Morris, "Let Go" by Frou Frou (on the Garden State soundtrack)

-liking the phrase: "these days" (hm...maybe a future blog title)

another new title

I've changed my title thing again, as you can see, because I love the idea of "becoming." It's a long, drawn-out process, and it's a journey, and yet it's something that happens inevitably and without effort. This "blog" (i hate saying that word sometimes) serves as a random notepad along the way. In becoming I'm always reaching for something more, but it's a constant striving. It's not over. Nor will it ever be. Every moment, every thought, every action, every choice, every word has its place in my becoming.

Week 2: The Bachelorette (recap)

Alright folks, here's my episode 2 recap. You can look forward to this every Tuesday from now until the end... I know you're leaping with joy right now...I can see it!

And yes, this will take place in the form of sarcastic memos:

To ABC~ I've got you figured out...

To Ben~ You're adorable. I sent ABC the previous memo because I know why they aren't giving you much air time...obviously you're going to make it to the end, or at least close to the end! And if Jen doesn't love you in the end, America will. ABC will ask you to be the next Bachelor, and I will send in my application to be on the show. :-) Trust me. I know.

To Josh & Fabrice~ I have no idea how either of you made it to the next episode.
Josh~ don't ever answer the door again without wearing a shirt. That's just plain stupid. You gross me out, and it's unfortunate that the first thing you announced to America about yourself is that you're a virgin. I'm with you and all, but that's usually not the first thing I tell people buddy.
Fabrice~ you poor thing! Maybe you should just go back to France...

To Michael (a.k.a. "Shrek")~ Even though Kate and I think you somewhat resemble Shrek, you were still a nice man. You deserve to be there more than Josh & Fabrice. Sorry to see you go.

To John Paul~ For some reason you give me the creeps. I don't know why! Maybe it's the half-smile mouth thing....???

To Stu~ Glad you're gone, crazy stalker guy! You were in love w/ Jen before you even met her! That's crazy!

To Wendell~ I'm starting to like you now. You were cute last night and you make Jen feel really comfortable. I think you, Ryan Sh., and Ben should be the final 3.

To Ryan Sh.~ You're so cute! I really like you a lot too!

To Jerry & Keith~ I don't know how I feel about you guys yet...but you deserve to stay awhile.

To Jen~ Girl, this is a tough job, and I don't know how you do it! But, I think I'd be doing the same thing in your shoes...except for keeping Josh & Fabrice. And I think I have the red dress you wore last night for the rose ceremony...

i thought i had it figured out...no such luck

I thought I had posted a pic on here after I somehow published them to a website, but it was some MSN web page thing that you have to log into, so it wouldn't work. grrrr...

i guess ya'll will never see my cool pictures! Haha.

off to chi-town for the weekend w/ Kate...well, not quite the city, but close enough... IKEA here we come! shopper's remorse, here I come!

have a fabulous weekend, all!

Aunt Meanie

That's what my niece, Maddy, calls me. Not because she thinks I'm mean, but because she can't quite say Mandy all the time. She also gets it confused w/ Mimi (my mom) sometimes and randomly calls everyone Papa (my dad) as well. She gets confused sometimes, yet she's still quite the smart little girl. Here's proof:

My sister emailed me a few minutes ago to tell me that the director at Maddy's day care (which she's only been attending for 2 weeks now) called to ask Cory's permission to move her up to the 2 year olds room. Apparently Maddy was bored with her room and was too advanced for her age group. (She's only 20 months old.) Cory's words to me were, "She must get her smarts from you."

Thanks sister! I'm quite the proud auntie. :-)

(Also, if you click on the title of the post, it'll take you to Maddy's "sassy" pic that I linked from Cory's blog. I'd post my own pictures if I could, but I can't install Hello on my work comp. yuck. wish I could share all my digitals...oh well!)

Lunch Break

Here are my thoughts from watching TV during my lunch break:

• Someone explain to me how Snoop Dogg is still making music & videos? Tell me, is he writing, recording, and working from his prison cell? In between visits there maybe? And if he's not there, shouldn't he be?
• Thanks to VH1, I now have insight into the lives of all celebrity children & their treehouses & playhouses...rich little brats!!! I played in our basement!
• The Style Network has tried really hard to imitate TLC's "What Not to Wear" with their rip-off, fake version entitled "How Do I Look?" That just plain makes me mad. They were jerks and they should just leave it to Stacey & Clinton on TLC.

The Bachelorette...

Well, it looks like America has two new Bachelorettes: Jen Schefft and Jen Aniston. Maybe Jennifer Aniston should be on ABC's next series...

Anyway here's my review of last night:
-I think it's obvious who the producers threw in just for kicks--drunk Chris from KY. At least he made for some good laughs; the token black guy--Ryan; possible stalker disguised as a really sweet guy--Stu; dorky self-absorbed French guy--Fabrece

-I think I am a lot like Jen. As they showed previews of her crying and freaking out b/c of her indecisiveness later in the show, I thought, "I'd do the same thing, knowing that's what I got myself into!"

-Honestly there is only one guy there I really like. Can we say B-E-N? I'd be afraid to go on that show and have to keep some of them in there even though there's only one or a few I'd be interested in! That would suck..."you mean, I can only get rid of 10 of them? I have to give out 15 roses?"

And now...here are my predictions for the final few:
Keith
Jerry
Jason
Ben
Michael
Ryan Sh.

Of course, my #1 choice would be the adorable Ben. And I'll put $$ on this: if he's not chosen, he'll be the next guy for the Bachelor. And I'll be applying to be on there.

Heck Yes I Did...

Did I mention that I have the Napoleon soundbytes on my computer for when I click on menus and get new emails and such? My day couldn't begin better than when I turn my computer on and hear the oh-so-wonderful voice of Kip saying, "That's what I'm talkin' about." It's a beautiful day.

Weekend Update:
-attended the Hornbrook wedding...was mad that I was 5 minutes late, and the wedding and reception were so short and fast, but still good. I just love Chris & Lyndsey. They're such a beautiful couple.

-had fun staying at the Fisher's house in Avon, IN and remembering how I lived there a year ago, oblivious to what the future held for me.

-played in the snow at the Fisher's house at 3:30 a.m., made a snow angel, built a snowman (w/ faces on both sides), and captured some beautiful photos of the snow falling.

-experienced shopper's remorse on both Saturday AND Sunday after purchasing 3 pairs of pants, a pink frost-free vest, a blue velour warm-up outfit (that i'll wear every day after work probably), and several other items. Circle Center in Indy and Eastland Mall were danger zones for me.

-officially "placed my membership" at Eastview...although that whole process is kinda funny and weird that it's even a "process." I think the only difference now is that I'll actually be on their mailing lists...I've already been attending, involved, and serving there for months.

-woke up at 2:00, 2:30, 3 something, 4 something, and 5 something in the morning last night...each time thinking it was time to get up, but then excitedly saw on my alarm clock that I had yet until 6:00 to sleep. Then I continued to snooze it until 6:30. As always.

That's all for now. This has been another great edition of my exciting Weekend Update. Thanks for comin' along.

Matt Wertz at LCC???

Alright friends...pray hard. We might be able to bring Matty Wertz to LCC. "When?" you ask. Oh, soon, and very soon. Yes, Wednesday, Jan. 26th. It's just a budget issue at the moment, and a waiting for the boss to return from CO issue. And of course, Matt has to accept our offer--that is an issue too. Oh, but prayer is powerful, my friends, so let's get on it.

2004 Songs that Make Me Want to Throw Up

(This list comes from various "Best of 2004" sources...and it is my "worst of.") Thank you radio stations & DJ's for your over-generous contribution to society. If I hear these songs one more time, I really might vomit. Or just get mad at the DJ's some more.

Note: these are not in any particular order.
1. Over and Over - Nelly & Tim McGraw
2. Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson
3. Heaven - Los Lonely Boys
4. The Reason - Hoobastank (*I REALLY mean this one!)
5. Baby Boy - Beyonce...in fact, ANYTHING by her might make me sick.
6. Vertigo - U2 (sorry U2 lovers...it's gonna have to grow on me.. right now it's just plain annoying!
7. Someday - Nickelback
8. Angels & Take My Breath Away- Jessica Simpson (honored w/ TWO bad songs)
9. Pieces of Me - little sister Ashlee Simpson (haha - she hates that...i think it's hilarious, oh and that song about "livin' in the shadows!!!" makes me cringe too)
10. My Band - D12
11. Dip It Low - Christina Milian (ok now that songs's just gross)
12. Where Are We Runnin'? - Lenny Kravitz
13. It's My Life - No Doubt
14. The First Cut is the Deepest - Sheryl Crow
15. My Immortal - Evanescence

Ahh...thank you to the NOW That's What I Call Music CD series from 2004 for helping me remember the worst songs of the year. There are several more on their way to making MY list. And don't even get me started on Christian music...

I am not a homebody...

I cannot handle being at home for too long...in any house. I go stir-crazy. I have been off all week so I was either at my home in Streator or at my apartment most of the time. It gets so boring! I have to get out and go shopping or something. Today I was so bored, and I even slept till 12 then hung out w/ friends till 3 or so, then Heidi and I couldn't find anything to do. Everything has to freaking close on New Years' Day, and I don't understand why. It's just a day! Big deal! I guess I just need to find something more exciting to do at my apartment. But you can only watch so many movies and What Not to Wear episodes until you just feel plain lazy.

I guess I'm just meant to go, go, go. I like it better that way.